Business Endeavors
by DivineRedFire
Summary: The Teen Titans have their hands full with the baddies of Jump, especially the nefarious Slade. And him being the mastermind he is, has hired the Merc with the Mouth for a little business endeavor, but this is DEADPOOL we're talking about here. Ch. 20 up
1. Plot Holes A'Plenty

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Forethoughts:**

Though this is not my first Deadpool or Teen Titans FanFic, it is my first one with them together. I took some characteristics from my Deadpool fanfic, in it he can break the fourth wall just like in the comic books so please don't mind the whole broken fourth wall there. Well, enjoy my fic and don't forget to review!

-_**Fire

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**Disclaimer:**

You should know by now that no one in FanFiction owns _any _of the characters they write about. The fact that you're just now realizing after _I've_ told you is sad beyond all possible reason! Well...there go any chance of possibly winning you over with humor; I've screwed that over by blatantly insulting you random person reading this who's _just now_ realizing they're being insulted by someone through the internet.

If you don't already hate me then continue reading, hopefully by the end you'll realize that it's awesome despite its bitchy authoress. Enjoy!

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Business Endeavors

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**Chapter 1: Plot Holes A-plenty

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"'**Twas a sunny Smarch day in Jump City, the birds were singing, the people commuting to their crappy jobs and narrators like I were referencing fake months made up by a TV show long past its prime (the Simpsons).**" Deadpool scribbled into a journal he stole from some guy named Walter Kovacs.

"I miss my yellow boxes." Deadpool sighed, "Any chance of me getting them back in the fanfic?" There wasn't. "Damn." He snapped his fingers.

"Oh well, might as well finish recounting the events of the previous day." Deadpool shrugged as he took a bite from the very greasy pizza in his hand _without pulling up his mask_.

"Hee hee, physics' got nothing on me." Deadpool laughed as he took another bite...somehow.

"Let's see, where was I?" Deadpool stroked his chin. "Right. **'What the hell happened to the Simpsons? I mean, it used to be awesome; it used to be better than awesome! Then it all went downhill. Coincidentally I killed the head writers at around the same time. No one makes fun of Bea Arthur and lives!'**" Deadpool shook his fist not realizing it was him who killed our favorite show...or maybe it was the internet.

"Hey! Back to me!" Deadpool shouted, "Let's see uh...right, right. **'I was contacted by an anonymous employer. Not surprisingly, the plot hole on how exactly it is that he contacted me through universes shall never be answered, questioned, nor referenced again after this journal entry as there is no logical explanation, but then again, nothing about fanfics or comic books are logical. Just look the Incredible Hulk! Are we really supposed to believe that his reputation wasn't as thoroughly tarnished as we thought by Ang Lee's crapfest** **that we'd go see the new one with dreamy Edward Norton? No siree but for some reason we did go see it anyway! All in all it was a good movie. And that concludes Deadpool's Movie Corner Review. Oh wait-'**"

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It was Smarch -1st, 200(?), yes, that's a negative sign. Deadpool groggily woke up at around 8 at night and walked over to his counter busily searching for the coffee machine or some other high caffeine drink.

"We're out of coffee." Weasel said flipping through the channels as he heard a crash come from behind him.

Deadpool shot himself in the head.

He fell down instantly but almost as soon as he fell he got back up, good as...Deadpool.

"You say somethin' Weas?" Deadpool said looking through the fridge.

"We're out of food too." Bob, Agent of HYDRA said turning back. "Why'd you have to shoot Alex in the stomach? You know he's sensitive about his weight. And now I'm starving." He said sadly.

"It's not like we really get paid anything. I mean Alex has to pay for all the collateral damage I cause, or so he says. I'm still sticking to the belief that he's swindling me out of my hard earned paycheck to buy Twinkies and Ho-Ho's!!!!" Deadpool shouted. "Maybe Ding-Dongs."

"Hard earned?" Weasel scoffed, "Last time you had to beat up to two teenagers out of revenge for some snobby rich kid. The only reason the bill was almost $5000 dollars is because of all the pop culture quips you said."

"You sure ran your mouth on that one." Bob said remembering how Wade wouldn't shut up. He still had the ringing in his ears.

Suddenly the phone rang.

"Hey, maybe it's Alex." Bob said hopefully.

"No it's not." Weasel said thinking realistically.

"Well let's not jump to either conclusion so quickly. We'll let it ring." Deadpool said crossing his arms. After one ring and realizing that no food also meant '_no chimichangas_' he quickly dove for the phone. "Alex Hayden, I want my job back!!" Deadpool said into the phone before he could hear anyone speak.

"Uh-huh. Yes that's me. Yuh-huh. Ooh really? Ohhh..." Deadpool said stroking his chin. "Well I like the sound of that. How much money did you say?" Deadpool's eyes widened. He quickly slammed down the phone and put his hands in the air.

"I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico!!" Deadpool said ecstatically.

Bob and Weasel groaned in unison.

"Just kidding. I just got a merc job and _without_ Hayden the Hutt's help." Deadpool said triumphantly.

"Still miss the place though." Bob said.

"Yeah, I miss Sandi, Outlaw, and-" Weasel began.

"Parts of her anyway." Deadpool interrupted.

"-Alex...uh, sorta." Weasel finished.

"So what're you doing?" Bob finally asked.

"I gotta kill a few people. Titans or whatever. I don't know, but what I do know is that I'm get 100k a head." Deadpool said excitedly. Bob and Weasel's jaws dropped.

"Well, how many heads are there?" Weasel asked quickly regaining himself.

"Five."

"Half a million?!" Bob cried.

"Hey! Shh! Keep it down, you don't want Old Man Green finding out do ya?" Deadpool said almost half expecting the front door to be taken down by their old, eccentric, and slightly creepy landlord Mr. Green, who, as his last name stated, really liked green if ya know that it means.

"Right, right." Bob hushed himself.

"So where're the targets?" Weasel whispered. The light from the TV was shining off his glasses making him seem more malice than usual.

"Some place called Jump City." Deadpool said. "They live in a tea tower or something."

"Tea Tower?" Weasel asked.

"Isn't that where they make the tea or something?" Bob mused.

"You're killing tea makers or...whatever they're called?" Weasel asked.

"Hey, tea's good business." Deadpool stood up, "Just look at the Boston Tea Party, that shindig was huge!!! Took an entire shipload of tea to satisfy everyone."

"That's not-" Weasel was once again interrupted by Wade.

"That's hawf a bloody million you bloody yank!" Deadpool said in his best, yet worst, British accent.

"Alright, I'm in." Weasel said, "But where _is_ Jump City?"

"Considering all our previous targets I'd say somewhere in New York." Bob said.

"Quickly! To Google Earth!!" Deadpool shouted.

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"Google Earth my ass." Weasel said inspecting the road map. "Where'd we get this road map?"

"I don't know. I found it on my bed. Weird, almost as if someone's planning something big with me in the middle." Deadpool mused aloud knowing full well that I existed. "_Bloody yank_." He said under his breath, which he can technically say as he's Canadian and I'm American.

"Wade!" Bob and Weasel yelled in unison. Deadpool hated when they did that, double the shrivel-ly voice, double the pain in his ears.

"What?!" Deadpool shouted back.

"You missed the exit!" Bob pointed behind them.

"Aw, dammit!" Deadpool turned the wheel of his car as far as he could and caused three lanes to stop completely. "What exit?" he shouted.

"That one" Weasel pointed.

"I don't see it." Deadpool said inspecting his surroundings.

"The trees are covering it from our view." Bob said.

"That explains a bit. Stupid trees. Why don't we just cut them down again?" Deadpool said driving the wrong way on the freeway.

"Remember Wade, no trees equals no oxygen equals no chimichangas." Weasel reminded him.

"Oh right. Good trees then. Not so stupid." Deadpool's cursed silently when he saw red and blue lights. "Cheese it! The Feds!!" Deadpool said jumping out of the stolen car. Bob and Weasel did the same.

"Thank you sir!" Bob shouted back at the man they left tied up in the back seat. The man just cursed at them but it was muffled up due to the rag over his mouth.

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"To freedom!!" Deadpool jumped over the concrete boundary markers into the wilderness surrounding the highway.

"Agh!" Weasel said jumping behind Wade.

"Holy Hollywood!" Deadpool shouted, "Or should I say Unholy? No, no, Tyrannical Tinsel Town! Anyway, how'd you run so fast Bob?" Wade asked inspecting the HYDRA agent who had so quickly dashed in front of him on the highway.

"HYDRA training, Retreat 301; I was top of my class." Bob smiled.

"Uh-oh." Weasel said hearing the sirens pull up.

"Run!" Bob shouted and the trio ran for their free lives.

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"No...more...running..." Weasel collapsed as he saw the outline of a city, a very bright city.

"Blinding." Bob said shielding his eyes.

"...look..." Weasel said catching his breath. He pointed at a sign.

"Welcome to Jurnp City." Deadpool misread the sign.

"That's _Jump_." Bob said.

"What'd ya say? Jump? The hell kind of a slang word is that? Kids these days and their slang. _Yo, that's tight!_ The hell does that mean? Who cares if something's tight fitting? And what does _yo_ mean?" Deadpool began.

"No, Jump. It says Jump City." Bob said picking up Weasel who almost immediately collapsed again; he was not made for running.

"Ohhh, _Jump_. Well I still don't get _tight_, how's that equal _that's cool_? _Yo_ though, I get that." Deadpool shook his head slowly. "Well, whatcha waitin' for? Let's go."

"Can't walk." Weasel said.

"Sure you can, hey look it's a Cop!" Deadpool said pointing behind Weasel into the woods.

Weasel quickly got up and the three of them ran off again with him in the lead.

"Can't walk _my_ _foot_!" Deadpool shouted to Weasel.

"I, like everyone else, would run at the sight of a gun pointed straight at me!" Weasel shot back.

"Oh yeah, forgot it was a scary thing." Deadpool pulled out his hand pistol. "Mush mush!!" Deadpool said as if they were sled dogs. He pointed his gun at his two minions- err, friends, no no, minions. Although he could've easily run ahead of them he chose not to. His blatantness garnering screams and shouts through the streets.

"Don't worry people, they're my minions!" Deadpool saluted to the passing strangers. "MUSH!!!" Although he seemed like a complete maniac Deadpool was making sure he was seen by whoever contacted him, the man had obviously heard of Deadpool's past dealings and successes, and also none of his failures, which were most of the time, so he was obviously very powerful.

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After about two hours of running the trio stopped in an alley to catch their breath, at least Weasel and Bob anyway, Deadpool had just started feeling silly about pointing his handgun on them so he put it away. It wasn't nearly as fear inducing as he'd hoped.

"Where'd I put my machine gun?" Wade asked checking his various pockets.

"No...more...running...please..." Bob and Weasel said falling on each other.

"Oh you pansies." Deadpool said, "Here it is!" he produced a machine gun seemingly out of thin air but it was immediately taken away from someone behind him.

"Hey! I wouldn't touch that if I were you!" Deadpool said turning around, the person wore black with shining silver arm and shin guards as well as circular protective covering around his neck. He had a mask with a large orange circle revealing two slits for dead white eyes.

"Yeah, seriously, I wouldn't touch that. It has a LOT of Vaseline on it. You think I got that out of nowhere? Guess again." Deadpool said rubbing his rear. The man said nothing and simply began walking past them, going deeper into the alley.

"Let's go." Deadpool said to Bob and Weasel.

"...are...you...serious...?" Weasel asked.

"You know, you're starting to sound like that kid in the wheelchair from _Malcolm in the Middle_." Deadpool laughed, "And yes, obviously the man recognizes me, either he is the guy or he works for the guy so let's go."

Bob and Weasel looked at each other and begrudgingly got up from the floor.

"No amount of money is worth this much pain." Bob said rubbing his legs.

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Any Last Thoughts?**

Well, what do you think? If you think it's bad, that's okay, it'll get better (hopefully). XD I shall update soon, I promise. Oh and review!!!

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac

_**Fire

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	2. To Neverland!

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Forethoughts:**

I'm baaaaaack! Thanks for the reviews you guys, wow a whole THREE reviews. lol I'll get more, can't lose hope and so long as people read this. Anywho here is chapter two to Business Endeavors and don't worry the Titans make an appearance in here...most of them anyway. Read, enjoy, savor, and review! That's the way to live!

-_**Fire

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**Disclaimer:**

I do not own Deadpool or the Lost Boys- err, Teen Titans. Yes, there're more Peter Pan references to come..._many more_. Like you won't believe. By the end it won't even be funny. Hell, it's not even that funny _now_. By the end you'll just regurgitate at the sound of someone saying Peter Pan and the Lost Boys, and baby chicks will love you for that. So yeah, I'm pro avians people!

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**Business Endeavors

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**Chapter 2: To Neverland!!! (Not the ranch)

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"Snazzy." Deadpool said as the silent figure led he, Weasel, and Bob to an abandoned warehouse full of gears and surprisingly robot parts. It didn't take long to realize that those parts were similar if not identical to parts on the figure walking in front of them. "So, they you're brothers? Cousins? Close grandmothers perhaps?" Wade asked trying to get an answer form the tin man.

"_Wade, please shut up...I don't think we're supposed to be talking._" Weasel whispered.

"**WELL EXCUSE ME!!!! FOR TRYING TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD FROM THIS WHOLE _EDWARD SCISSOR HANDS_ MEETS STEAMPUNK, OR SOMETHING, DIPPED IN SCI-FI ROBOTICS THAT WILL PROBABLY END WITH WILL SMITH SAVING THE WORLD YET AGAIN!!! THE MAN'S A GENIUS! THE LOVE CHILD OF AN ILLICIT AFFAIR BETWEEN CHUCK NORRIS AND HIMSELF PRODUCING THE DEMI-GOD THAT IS WILL SMITH!!! WHAT WAS MY POINT BEFORE?!!!!**" Wade screamed so loudly it resounded through every nook and cranny in the building.

"If you're going to be as annoying as that perhaps I made a mistake hiring you." A calm and collected voice spoke up from the shadows. There were almost no lighting fixtures and none of them really helped in seeing the man standing before them. They could only see his sole eye looking at them, inspecting them, and expecting at least the two most feeble ones to break down crying, which to his surprise they only let out whimpers. Maybe Deadpool toughened them up...in his own odd way.

"No no no no, you didn't make any mistake hiring me oh rich man of the warehouses and not surprisingly shadows!" Deadpool said clasping his hands together and putting on his Puppy-pool Eyes of Death so he wouldn't be dashed of a half a million paycheck.

"I should hope so." The figure said keeping his voice even, those puppy eyes were getting annoying.

"Yay." Deadpool said quietly, "Third hour on the job and I'm still not fired. New record."

"Um..." Weasel interjected before the man in the shadows could let the comment sink in, "Who exactly are we supposed to uh...eliminate?" Weasel said trying to find the right word while at the same time trying to act tough...which obviously wasn't working. His cracking voice made sure of that.

The man said nothing and immediately a giant screen behind him lit up showing five costumed teenagers in battle poses. "Them."

"Peter Pan and the Lost Boys, gotcha." Deadpool clicked his tongue and said immediately after seeing their leader's green tights. "Let's go kill Tinker Bell!" Deadpool pulled out two handguns.

"Not quite yet." The man said. His body was now slightly more illuminated from the screen behind him. He wore a suit similar to the ones of his minions only with a more muscle bound build. His mask was also different in that the right half of his mask and face were obscured in black while the other half was in orange, showing his only discernible eye slit along with a vent near his mouth so he could breathe.

"I only want four of them dead, this one;" he pointed to the masked boy in front, no not the robotic one, no not the green one, the normal-ishy Peter Pan sort of one, "I want _him_ alive." He said with a bit of malice betraying his usual evenness.

"Okay then Hook, we'll bring ol' Pete to ya, kill the rest you say? Alright. Let's go poison their medicine minions!" Deadpool said jovially and walked out with a smile behind his mask.

"Uh...can we get a reference picture?" Weasel asked as Deadpool strained to open the giant metal doors blocking his escape.

"Fine." The man said quickly, he was really beginning to doubt his choice.

"What're these made of?! Adamantium? Walker Texas Ranger-nite? Aunt May-on?" Deadpool said ramming into the doors and finally getting them open.

"I chose wrong didn't I?" the man asked himself.

"Oh no you didn't, Mr. Wilson is very capable...uh sorta." Bob started.

"He's not a bad choice he's just...he can do it but...uh..." Weasel said. He and Bob looked at each other nervously as the man began to leer at them, "You coulda done better. But uh, that doesn't mean Wade can't do the job. Um...bye." Weasel said and began to back away slowly with Bob. The man's leer turned into a low growl and Weasel and Bob ran for their lives before the giant metal doors closed on them.

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"Second star to the right and straight on 'till morning!!" Deadpool said pointing towards the sun.

"My eyes!" Bob said shielding himself after accidentally looking into the sun.

"Onward! To Neverland!!" Deadpool shot a bullet into the air.

"Wade! First we have to figure out where uh, _Neverland_ is." Weasel stopped.

"No biggie we just look for the most obvious building that a bunch of teenagers would be living in." Deadpool said putting away his guns.

"Wade, that's pretty much every building everywhere." Weasel replied.

"_Ow_...my retinas." Bob said rubbing his eyes.

"Well...which one could house a robot and a green munchkin?" Deadpool asked.

"Maybe if we ask the locals?" Weasel said. He took out the small picture the man had given to them, it was only then that he realized they didn't know his name. "Hey Wade...did he ever tell you his name?"

"Who? Captain Hook in there?" Deadpool said pointing back at the warehouse, "Yeah he said it's like the Terminator or something."

"The Terminator?" Weasel looked at Wade skeptically.

"Yeah _Something_ the Terminator. If ya ask me, I bet that guy is an ex pro-wrestler or ex something military, you see those muscles? He's got about as much as Cap did." Deadpool sighed.

"I don't know...I mean the man has robots, shouldn't he be able to handle a bunch of teenagers himself with that strength and those robots?" Weasel said about their employer.

"Maybe they're a crafty bunch of teenagers. You know how Pete is, little tight wearing scamp." Deadpool said.

"Hmm..." Weasel was not at all satisfied with the answer but decided dropping the subject, knowing Deadpool he'd go on ranting about Peter Pan.

"Excuse me." Bob said walking up to a couple in their late twenties, "Do you know who these people are?" he asked.

The couple laughed at the question.

"What do you mean you don't know? Those are the Teen Titans." The woman said as she tried to calm herself.

"_Douchey much?_" Deadpool said under his breath.

"Um..." the man inspected the trio of middle aged men before them, "I think you guys are a little old to be joining them."

"We'll just see about that!!" Deadpool said walking away in a huff.

"Uh, right, do they have headquarters or something?" Weasel asked knowing full well that he sounded like an idiot to these blond morons even though he more than likely had twice the IQ score they did.

"Yeah, they live in that Tower over there." The woman said pointing at a giant 'T.'

"Hope one of you can swim." The man said under his breath.

"The hell's that supposed to mean ya jerk?!" Deadpool shouted from across the street. The couple just rolled their eyes and walked away. Weasel and Bob rolled their own eyes and rejoined Deadpool whose jaw had dropped upon seeing a window of a shop.

"Pompous sacks of..._grr_...they're IQ probably isn't even anywhere near 100 let alone 190!" Weasel crossed his arms and pouted, he didn't like being seen as stupid, at least when the person viewing him as stupid was by all means far dumber than he, he didn't mind it when it was someone smarter than him...or scarier looking at least.

"What're you looking at, Mr. Wilson?" Bob said finally noticing what Deadpool's eyes had been glued on. "_Oh God_..."

"_Idiots_..." Weasel continued to pout until Deadpool turned his head towards the shop window.

There they saw a collection of merchandise that rivaled that of Mickey Mouse, Betty Boop, and the Beetles combined. There were Teen Titans toys, t-shirts, coffee mugs, wallpaper, plushies, authorized detective kits, Starfire's Choice Shampoos, DVDs, key chains, shoes, underwear, Picasso-esque portraits, Beast Boy's Beast Wheels, posters, jewelry, iPods, cameras, lip gloss, energy drinks, alarm clocks, home pregnancy tests authorized by Cyborg himself, television sets, radios, lamps, backpacks, purses, megaphones, masks, etc, you get the picture.

"_Superhero Superstore_?" Weasel read the name of the store aloud.

"Look at that! Nothing of me! Not even a single t-shirt of Spider-Man or Cap or Ironman! What the hell is this?!!" Deadpool screamed and fogged up the window. A red-haired teenage cashier walked up she cleaned it with a bottle of _Teen Titan's Window Clean_.

"Oh now you're fucking with me!!" Deadpool screamed and let out a gasp. "I haven't been censored! Oh happy days." He said quickly forgetting about his anger.

"Well...I guess maybe they _are_ tough. Or at least they have to be to be able to garner this much attention..." Weasel said, maybe the Terminator really couldn't beat them.

"Tough, shmough." Deadpool said, "I beat up –err, impaled the Hulk, I think I can beat up a couple of acne ridden teens fired up on hormones-" he inspected pictures of Cyborg and Robin, "-and possibly steroids."  


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Robin's dodging was flawless, "_As usual_." He thought to himself. He made sure that none of the paint balls hit him, even grazing him would've been a great disappointment to the Boy Wonder, but luckily he evaded every single one without hindrance. Of course, he would've done just the same had they been lasers or actual bullets but the others insisted on paint balls, it was less dangerous and far more colorful. He was fine with changing to paint balls for safety but he just wished they weren't as brightly colored; it hurt his head after every Reflex Exercise.

He heard shrill scream coming from the hallway.

"Starfire?" He asked immediately. Beast Boy ran in continuing to scream in a girly fashion.

"Raven's trying to kill me!!" Beast Boy said quickly before turning into a lizard and crawling onto a giant blotch of green on the wall.

"Beast Boy, I know you're in here." Raven stomped in without her cloak with just a trickle of anger in her voice.

"What'd he do?" Robin asked exasperatedly.

Raven pulled out her cloak; it was shrunken and had white blotches everywhere. "He put my cloak with bleach and washed it in cold water!" she said through gritted teeth.

Robin thought for a moment, weighing the action for the punishment, and then he remembered something else which made his eyes narrow. "He's over there." Robin said pointing at Beast Boy's lizard form. Beast Boy shifted back to his self.

"Robin! What the hell?!" Beast Boy shouted with green paint on his hands, stomach, and feet.

"I know it was you who stole me belt last week." He said before leaving the room, "Try not to break _too_ many of his bones, Raven."

He closed the door behind him.

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"Is Starfire screaming?" Cyborg asked while walking up to Robin.

"No it's just Beast Boy pleading for mercy." Robin said dismissing the cries for help. "You ready?" he asked.

Cyborg smirked at him. "I was born ready, Wonder Bread." He chuckled at his own joke.

_'__A true sign of it not being funny_.' Robin thought as the two went outside the tower for the Obstacle Course.

"Let's see." Cyborg checked the stats, "Course records say _my_ time's _still_ the record."

"Thing of the past Cy, thing of past." Robin said going to the starting line of the course. If he hadn't been in the shape he was he would have been completely exhausted. But of course he was in that kind of shape and he had more than enough energy to beat Cyborg's time.

"Three...two..." Cyborg counted down, "...one...GO!" he shouted.

Robin sprinted off immediately and jumped. He soared over the super heated laser beams and landed rolling, keeping the momentum with him as he continued to dodge the metallic discs being shot at him. He also used that same momentum offensively with his bō staff, using it to give him the extra force needed to break some of the discs he wouldn't be able to dodge.

He continued with at the same speed as he felt the ground shake, it was about to split open into a chasm he would never be able to clear. He saw the eerie darkness of the giant rift on the island as the metal doors covering it began to split apart. Luckily for him he jumped over the opening long before it would have become a problem.

Robin easily dodged all the swinging axes. Although he was slightly jarred after almost being hit with a column of fire that sprouted in front of him though he still made it past the fire obstacle faster than he remembered Cyborg doing. He threw three birdarangs that hit bull's eye when a trio of turrets sprouted up from under the rock. With them instantly disabled he ran across the area with ease.

He quickly ran through the tape at the finish line as dramatically as a marathon runner and fell to his knees, a wide grin stretching across his face.

"I beat your ass I know I did." Robin said. If he needed to catch his breath after that he did not show it at all. '_All for show_.' He told himself as he desperately calmed his chest.

"_Show_ _off_." Cyborg said looking at the calm state Robin was in, "Guess you don't need this do you?" he pulled out an ice cold water bottle that had water droplets forming outside. "It's a shame it'll go warm because you don't need to drink it and its icy cold contents..." Cyborg teased.

Robin quickly snatched it out of the mechanical man's hand and took a few big gulps; his throat was burning.

"Knew it." Cyborg smiled.

"Shut it." Robin said gulping down the last drops and he wiped a few trickles of water off his chin.

"Well, on the upside for both us, both our times are at least two minutes less than everyone else." Cyborg gestured toward the screen on the controls.

"It's official," Robin said as he looked at the times, "flying can go ahead and suck it."

Cyborg chuckled and made his way over to the starting line. "That's right _Bird_ Boy." He cracked his knuckles.

"We'll see. Three...two...one..."

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Deadpool's jaw dropped.

"Who the hell lives on an island?! Honestly?!" he screamed and pointed towards the Titan's tower.

"Ironically,_ villains_ do." Weasel said.

"Gilligan lives on an island...uh, he used to, anyway." Bob added.

"It was a rhetorical question!" Deadpool informed them and inspected the body of water surrounding the water. "At least this explains what that douche guy meant."

"So how do we get on there?" Bob asked.

Deadpool inspected a small figure running around on the island on which the tower was on. "We tie together sea turtles with human hair." He said.

"Or we could steal a speedboat and sneak onto the island." Weasel said pointing to a nearby dock.

"Or we could do that, let's do that." Deadpool shook his head vigorously.

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**Any Last Thoughts?**

Well, tell me what you think you guys. Lord knows I need help on critiquing my writing, I know I'm no J.R.R. Tolkein, no matter how much I fancy myself being one. And don't worry, actual fighting and action will take place in the next chapter in fact, I _promise_...to _try_...to _almost_ do fight scenes, no matter how crappy I am at writing them. Review review review!!!!

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac

_**Fire

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	3. Gilligan's Island

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**Forethoughts:**

Sorry it took so long to update everyone. I had a bout of writer's block. Gah! I hate it! Anyway, the way this chapter formed surprised myself actually but I believe it to be pretty awesome. I can only hope you guys think so as well. I've still got an ending in mind but this story might have more twists than I anticipated to beware everyone. BEWARE. Also, REVIEW!!! lol

-**_Fire

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**Disclaimer:**

If I owned _any_ of these characters all of this would be considered canon. (_maybe_) Consider that. Now consider how lucky it is that my convoluted mess isn't canon. So yeah. Consider yourself lucky and me screwed.

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**Business Endeavors**

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**Chapter 3: Gilligan's ****Island**

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"_Sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip_..." Deadpool hummed to himself. "Great, now I got Gilligan on the Gonzo. Thanks a lot Bob. Though I don't mind the images being transmitted through my brain featuring Ginger and Mary Ann. Still not my sweet Bea though."

"So...what exactly are we gonna do when we got on the island?" Weasel asked.

Silence.

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"Okay, so I go into the dining room and I kill Mr. Green with the candlestick." Deadpool said drawing out his plan onto the sand of the island. Not surprisingly his layout looked a lot like a trademarked game in which the name was a synonym to _evidence_.

"I thought it was Colonel Mustard with the revolver in the ball room?" Bob spoke up.

"No, it's Deadpool in the Living Room with the katanas...and the machine guns...and the ak47's...and the grenades." Weasel said.

"Don't forget the bleeding of the ears, I got my speaking powers." Deadpool smiled behind his mask. "Also I got anthrax in one of my pockets, bet I could use that."

Weasel and Bob backed away from him slowly.

"Hey, if this is headquarters for superheroes...don't you think there're cameras or really sophisticated security systems?" Bob asked aloud, astounding Deadpool and Weasel in the fact that they hadn't thought of that.

"Well, I could hack in and turn off everything." Weasel suggested, "But it'd take a while."

"Great! We can make a sandcastle while Weasel works his magic! Come on Bob!" Deadpool said running to the shore. Bob shrugged and followed him leaving Weasel with his own thoughts as he began typing furiously on his laptop.

* * *

"And this will be where I murder the king when he sleeps." Deadpool said putting the last flag on the tower for his and Bob's castle. "And here's his hot daughter's room." Deadpool growled like Homer Simpson.

"Bad news Wade- nice castle." Weasel said walking up to their majestic castle for which Bob was building a trench.

"Thanks Weasel." Deadpool turned over to Bob, "Work slave!" Deadpool shouted and turned back to Weasel. "What's the bad news?"

"This system is _really_ sophisticated and I'd imagine that it's gonna take me a few hours to actually hack into it and I don't know about you guys but I'm pretty sure these guys go walking around here a bit. I mean there are footsteps that aren't ours. I mean they're not new but it serves my theory well. They must go walking around and I'm pretty sure they're gonna see three guys hanging around here building a sandcastle."

"Oh fine. We'll just go with my original plan. I'll shoot up a museum." Deadpool cocked his gun.

"What have I done?" Weasel shook his head in regret.

* * *

"People! Get your butts out of here and call the Lost Boys or as you call them, the Teen Titans!" Deadpool shot the ceiling as people began running around in the Oliver Clyde Memorial and Museum, the biggest most popular museum in Jump.

"While you're all running could one of you get me the Batman soundtrack? I'd really like to redo that scene where the Joker destroys all the paintings in that lame montage...I want to make it...not lame." Deadpool shuddered, "He lost my respect."

"Wade- err, Deadpool, are you sure this is going to work?" Weasel asked adjusting the Penetraitor helmet. Like hell he'd be caught in his normal clothes, besides, the Penetraitor armor had a few teleportations left in it.

"Meh, mostly." Deadpool shrugged and surveyed the area for Bob. That man was the greatest Wade had ever seen at hiding during a battle.

"_They're coming_._ I can see their car_." Bob whispered from his hiding place.

"Good job minion. And now we play the waiting game..." Deadpool said, almost immediately he heard a _whoosh_ sound from behind. "Peter Pan's at it again!" he shot at the rafter where he heard the noise.

Robin jumped out of the way before the bullets even got a chance to come near. Reflex Exercise, what would he do without it? He'd probably be recuperating in a hospital for multiple shot wounds. He jumped down near the red and black figure. There was something about this man that looked utterly familiar.

"Do...do I know you?" Robin asked when he saw the man turn around.

"Uh..." Deadpool inspected the boy, "...was one or more of your loved ones gunned down mercilessly while you watched which then traumatized you forever in ways most people will never understand thus forcing you to don an extremely stretchy spandex suit and mask and fight crime in an attempt to stop the same thing from happening again even though you could do the exact same thing by joining the police department except you'd get a kickass badge, gun, squad car, and wouldn't have to wear spandex that leaves nothing to the imagination?"

"No..."

"Was your dad or uncle a crime boss who hired mercenaries for certain targets?"

"No."

Deadpool tapped his chin and then spoke up again, "...Does your mom have a picture of me somewhere that she takes out sometimes and just sighs remembering a past love filled night we might have had in Vegas while I was plastered off my ass and she was probably a waitress in a bunny costume?"

"No!"

"Did I ever shoot you?"

"No."

"Well now I will." Deadpool shot at the boy's feet. Instinctively Robin jumped out of the way, over Deadpool's head, and pulled out his bō staff. Once he got on solid ground he aimed for Deadpool's head. He heard a loud cracking noise and Deadpool fell back limp. His gun clattered a few feet away from him.

"Uh sorry, we were sort of caught off guard by how fast he was talking...almost inhuman." Cyborg said inspecting the man's limp body.

"At least now he shut up." Raven said.

"Is he dead?" Beast Boy said turning into a dog and sniffing his body.

"No, he's just really badly hurt." Cyborg checked the man's head, there was a deep bruise Robin had left there but it was nothing some medical attention wouldn't fix.

"He did not sound..._well_." Starfire said trying to find the right word.

"You mean he sounded crazy?" Raven said.

"Perhaps but I would not go so far as to say that..." she said still trying to assess what the man had said.

"I would. I've seen a _lot_ of villains and he's high up there on the crazy scale." Robin said putting away his bō staff.

"Why does he look familiar anyway?" Beast Boy asked.

Robin shrugged. "I don't know, he just does. I'm probably just confusing him with some of the other hundred guys I've met before who are like him."

"You know what?" Beast Boy said stroking his chin, "He kinda looks like Slade." He said without thinking. The name hung in the air bringing down whatever mood they had amassed in the short time. There was an uneasy silence that ensued but luckily, or maybe _un_luckily, the sound of a falling chandelier took the group out of their small insecure daze.

The Titans jumped, or flew, out of the way as they heard the rope snap. There was a glittering shower of glass around them and the sound of...the theme from _Gilligan's_ _Island_?!?

"..._five passengers set sail that day, for a three hour tour, a three hour tour_..." Deadpool sang out as he twirled his katanas in a lethal circle cutting through some of the glass and sending it flying in all directions around him. "Damn it Bob!! I'm gonna kill you for getting that stuck in my head!!!" he shouted.

Robin shot his grappler on the railing to the second level. He pressed a switch and immediately he shot up like a colorful rocket. Unfortunately, being colorful may have been pleasing to a normal person's eye, but to a mercenary who had dollar signs in his eyes (and Gilligan on the brain) that made him an easy target. Deadpool launched his katana at the boy.

"And the medal for most killingest katana launch goes to..._Luke Skywalker_! Maybe next time I'll think of cheating with a lightsaber too. It goes through more people and walls." Deadpool said to himself.

Instinct took over in Robin's mind as he sensed something headed for him and he threw himself up in the air as fast as he could, unfortunately if he _had_ had precognition his cape wouldn't have gotten stuck in the katana's grip as it lodged itself into the wall.

"Fuck!" he shouted. It was around these times that he absolutely _hated_ the fact that he wore a cape. He quickly covered his face as the last few shards of glass went flying about. When he opened his eyes again he could see his teammates dodging a barrage of shuriken being thrown at them. To his relief they each dodged successfully but to his utter horror the masked maniac noticed his dangling figure.

"HA! HOLY SHIT!" he shouted and pointed at Robin's now red face, "HA! I caught him alright! Caught him good!" he started laughing without remorse.

Robin ripped off his cape in a mini fit of rage and embarrassment as his teammates also saw his figure dangling there. '_I am never gonna live this down_.' He thought to himself. He used the wall to kick himself to the ground which he hit rolling. The maniac continued to laugh his heart out until he saw Robin's bō staff head right toward him.

"Did the animation budget run out or something? 'Cause I'm barely seeing him move or anything." Deadpool commented on the animation.

Instinctively Deadpool grabbed the staff and pulled with half his might and threw down the now capeless Boy Wonder. Deadpool pulled the staff out of his grip and used it as his own against the dark cloaked witch who had begun chanting _Hazmat Menstrual Zinco_ or something along those lines.

"Hey! I don't wanna know whether or not you've gone through puberty yet missy!" Deadpool shouted. Raven's eyes had turned white but before anything could happen he had shoved the staff into her stomach slamming her against the wall behind her and she seemed to slip out of consciousness.

The little green kid turned into a jaguar and dug his claws into Deadpool's back.

"Ow! Jeez honey! Why dontcha cut 'em once in a while?!" Deadpool shouted and ran backwards into a wall as hard as he could. He heard a _thump_ and he felt the changeling dig his claws into his skin once again but the pain soon faded as the claws retracted and Beast Boy changed back into his normal form. Deadpool turned around and punched his head just to make sure he was knocked out.

"The Hulk's gonna owe me one if you die, he won't have to pay any child support." Deadpool rubbed his fist.

The orange skinned girl shot out some sort of green radioactive something...

"OHMIGOSH!! GLOW IN THE DARK FRSIBEES!!!" Deadpool shouted as his eyes widened. He jumped out of the way because either way, he was sure it was glowing green for a reason. He tucked and rolled right in front of the robot as he held up a canon to Deadpool's face.

"Don't move!" he shouted at Wade.

"Or what you'll miss? Okay fine." Deadpool stood stiff and waited for the robot to shoot him.

"Uh-what?" Cyborg's eyes widened in surprise. Was this guy for real?

"So uh, you gonna shoot me or you chicken?" Deadpool asked leaning on Robin's staff.

"Don't think I won't."

"I'm not thinking you won't I'm just wondering if you will." Deadpool shot back. "Heh, that was a really good comeback by anyone's standards."

"You want me to shoot? Fine." Cyborg shot his canon a bit too late as Deadpool had already lunged forward and hit his arm with the staff. Cyborg's shot went way off target and hit Starfire, causing her to slam into the wall behind her. Deadpool kicked the robot's head as hard as his mutant-but-not-technically-mutant legs would allow him to. He saw the robot's human eye close in pain.

"STARFIRE!" Robin shouted as he saw her slam into the wall.

"Did someone just kick you in the crotch or something?!? 'Cause your voice just cracked beyond recognition!!!" Deadpool shouted and jumped back at the boy.

Robin jumped out of the way as he saw the insane villain head for him. Normally he would have checked to see if Starfire was alright but this maniac didn't seem to be as stupid as he was crazy. He looked through his belt and grabbed a handful of smoke pellets and threw them in between himself and the maniac. Unfortunately the maniac had launched himself in the air before the pellets went off and slammed Robin against the wall.

"Who are you?!" Robin screamed as he clutched his throbbing head.

"I'm your worst nightmare!" Deadpool said in a gravelly voice but he quickly switched to his own normal voice, "But if you must know, I'm Deadpool. And I totally need a catchphrase for when I knock people out."

And with that forewarning statement, Deadpool struck the side of Robin's head causing him to see black stars until they ultimately eclipsed his sight.

"Wease-er Penetraitor? Peter Pan has drunk the poison. I repeat. _Peter_ _Pan_ has _drunk_ the _poison_." Deadpool said into a little communication device on his belt.

"Gotcha." Weasel replied. "I'm locked onto your position." He turned on his armor and appeared near Deadpool. Deadpool handed over the limp teenager and Weasel disappeared just as a green stampeding elephant slammed Deadpool against the wall.

Deadpool's figure peeled off the wall _a la_ Looney Toons.

"Well, at least now I can become a model..." Deadpool said checking his now impossibly thin waist. "Hey, social commentary. Didn't think I'd ever do that."

"What'd you do with Robin?!" Beast Boy shifted back into his normal self. Raven slowly trudged in behind him as did Starfire and Cyborg.

"Wow, either you guys are really close friends or you're all on Red Bull or Monster and have energy to spare but nothing to do." Deadpool leaned back on the wall once again gaining his normal body shape. He sighed, "There goes my modeling career."

"Where is he?!" Starfire shouted.

"Oh he's fine, he's knocked out and probably in horrible pain but otherwise he's fine." Deadpool said twirling the bō staff he had stolen from him. He only stopped when he noticed that the four pairs of eyes leering at him were screaming murder.

"Well, it's been a time and a half but I think it's time to go." Deadpool said dropping the staff. "Have fun with your memorial service."

Beast Boy snarled with gritted teeth, "If he really is dead-"

"I never said it was _his_ memorial service." Deadpool said pressing a small button on his belt. He vanished from their sights.

"Where'd that bastard go?!" Beast Boy screamed.

"He's not here." Cyborg growled reading the sensors in his robotic eye.

"What do you think he meant when he said that?" Raven asked rubbing her head.

"I don't know but we have to get Robin back!" Cyborg shouted assuming his new position in command.

"Friends?" Starfire asked tentatively. She was looking around nervously and had unshed tears in her eyes.

"What?" Beast Boy asked.

"Do you not hear the beeping noise?" she asked. Everyone looked at her with confused looks until Beast Boy turned into a dog and yelped.

"Run!" he shouted.

* * *

Across town Deadpool nonchalantly drove their newly stolen car around town playing the theme song to the _Sopranos_ on the radio.

"Well, you guys know what this means." Deadpool said turning down the volume.

"We get paid?" Weasel asked polishing his Penetraitor helmet.

"Not only that but we get to go to Katz's Deli!" Deadpool shouted happily as smoke began to rise up into the sky. The smell of burning wood and oil paintings filled the air so he rolled up the windows.

"You think they're still alive?" Bob asked looking at the scene behind them get smaller and smaller.

"Bob, they're superheroes. _Teen _superheroes but...still sorta heroes none the less...sorta." Deadpool said and cursed in his head for the green light to stay green. "So you already know my answer to that."

* * *

**Any Last Thoughts?**

Okay, well I shall (possibly) answer das new questions. Did the Titans survive? Will Deadpool really give over Robin? Will I update faster than I did this time? These questions shall be answered next time! Review my loyal minions! Review!

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac

**_Fire_**

* * *


	4. ¡El Deadpool Súper Verano Espectacular!

* * *

**Forethoughts:**

¡Bien venidos paisanos! ¡Es El Súper Deadpool Súper Verano Espectacular! ¡En el episodio de hoy, Deadpool, el mercenario del infierno que hasta le tiene miedo el diablo, tiene hambre entonces va al _Lunch Lord_ con sus amigos _Weasel_ y _Bob_ y encuentra el diablo comiendo ahí! ¡El diablo quiere un contesto haber quien puede comer mas _chimichangas_! ¿Ahora, quien va ganar? ¿El Diablo, el rey del infierno, o Deadpool, el hombre más amado en el mundo?

Just kidding, it's only my fanfic, Business Endeavors. Though, if I ever want a filler chapter, I could always use the plot up there.

-**_Fire

* * *

_**

* * *

**Disclaimer:**

I own nothing of the kind!! Except of course a little Deadpool Doll- err, action figure. It's my lucky charm, don't go anywhere without it...crap...where is it? Oh great, I lost Wadesy! First that leprechaun now Wadesy! I'll never be lucky again!!! OOH! An Irishman!! (It's not for the luck, I just love the accent! XD)

* * *

* * *

**Business** **Endeavors**

* * *

**Chapter**** 4: ¡El Deadpool Súper Verano Espectacular!**

**

* * *

**

"**'And so it was that I kicked the Lost Boy's, otherwise known as the Teen Titan's, collective _arses_ from here to Urectum, otherwise known as Uranus. Heh. Anyway, Weasel and Bob kicked me off the wheel of the car because _apparently_ I don't know the way to Katz's Deli in Jump. Well they don't know either!! Jerks. Right now Weasel is checking the map we found in the glove compartment and Bob is trying his best to keep up with the constantly changing directions. Pete's tied up by his arms and legs, he's woken up twice but it's nothing a little chloroform won't fix. _(Insert evil chuckle here_.)**

**Boy, it's really hot here in Jump, then again it's hot in ****New York****...and the rest of the world, 'cept ****Australia**** and every place under the equator but still, its hot and its barely ****11:00 am****. There's something wrong here, something very wrong. I mean, isn't it Smarch? Yeah, well that means its winter right? It's supposed to be freezing not broiling my butt into a Burger King hamburger!! And this stupid Mazda's AC is busted! What the crap?! Ugh. Weasel just realized he's looking at a map of **_**Ohio**_**. For a computer genius he's a _retard_ when it comes to reading maps! Eh...it's too hot for this shit. I'll continue to write in you later, mein stolen journal. _Aloha_.'**" Deadpool closed the journal and looked around to see where Bob and Weasel had taken them.

"Where are we?" he asked.

"I'm pretty sure we're still in Jump." Bob said looking at the signs.

"Found it!" Weasel called out and pulled out another map from the glove compartment.

"Look, there's a Lunch Lord, let's just go in there. I don't wanna end up in Idaho again. All they've got is potatoes...I ain't Irish!!" Deadpool shouted.

"Might as well, this map doesn't list anything." Weasel sighed. Bob pulled over on the sidewalk which was hauntingly empty.

"Hmm, I wonder where everybody is." Weasel asked aloud.

"Who cares? Let's go get some food." Deadpool said slamming his door shut.

"What about the kid?" Bob asked.

"Oh right, uh, here lemme see." Deadpool looked in his pockets for chloroform and a rag. "This ought to keep him down long enough to at least get our food to go." He said dampening the rag with the liquid and then covering Robin's face in it.

"Don't forget to roll down the windows. I'm suffocating and I'm _outside_ the car." Weasel fanned himself with the map and panted. Deadpool complied and rolled the down the windows just a crack. He figured that a kid as tough as him wasn't just going to suffocate to death.

* * *

The trio crossed the empty street to the other side where there were at least three hardware stores and a pharmacy. They crossed the street again and on the corner of the street was a television store boasting hundreds of plasmas on display. They were turned on the news about some building collapse. They quickly cut to commercials, something about a sci-fi convention.

"You know, if they don't wanna get robbed then they shouldn't be putting TVs up right where crooks like me can get 'em when it's not so damn hot." Deadpool shook his and the three entered the Lunch Lord.

Weasel sighed as he felt the cool air hit his face when they opened the door. The cashiers and the cooks were all mesmerized by the news which had cut back to the building.

"Yo, service here please." Deadpool said tapping the counter for the cashier to notice. She slowly turned her head and put on a fake smile then a look of confusion when she saw trio's costumes.

"Oh uh...we're going to the Sci-Fi-Con." Weasel said quickly.

"_Ohh_." the girl chuckled in understanding. Boy did _she_ feel silly! "Okay, how may I help you?"

"Let's see, we'd like...three large black olive and mushroom stuffed crust pizzas with extra pepperoni and cheese...don't hold back on the cheese, also...two calzones and five chimichangas." Deadpool inspected the menu again.

"Oh and two cheeseburgers, king sized." Weasel said.

"And three extra orders of onion rings." Bob spoke up.

"And four special edition Transformers cups filled with Coca-Cola...oh uh, _pleeeeease_." Deadpool said remembering his manners. "Actually, make that Diet Coke, we're trying watch our weight." He smiled under his mask.

"Wait four?" Bob asked.

"Can't forget about Pete. I'm not _pure_ evil." Deadpool leaned back on the counter and looked outside. His eyes widened. Robin was unfastening the rope around his legs and he frantically opened the car door and ran away. Deadpool sighed. "And one kid's meal to go." He stopped leaning off the counter and quickly took out his wallet and passed it to Weasel. "Pay the girl, Weas. I've got a bird to hunt." He said pushing the doors open and running out.

"Was that one of your friends in the car?" the girl inspected the two with more suspicion than she originally had. Okay, _now_ she felt silly. As well as a bit uncomfortable.

"Uh yeah, yeah it was um, here." Weasel said pulling out a hundred. "This ought to cover it...along with _other_ things."

The cashier caught his drift and took the hundred. "You're order will be up shortly." She smiled and went back to watching the television.

"Weas, isn't that the museum?" Bob asked quietly pointing at the TV.

"God I hope they haven't recovered footage." Weasel said sitting down in one of the shadier tables.

"Damn. I should've gotten ice-cream sundae." Bob said checking the menu. Weasel groaned and prayed that the security cameras had been smashed.

* * *

"Stupid..." Robin said to himself as he ran into the alley. He should've looked around for his belt before he ran out. He didn't even have a cape to conceal himself in case the maniac Deadpool had found him. He didn't even have his communicator! He sighed and rubbed his eyes, he still felt sort of sleepy from the chloroform. "...stupid..."

"Ya sure are." Deadpool said poking his head into the alley. "A non-stupid person wouldn't have been talking aloud if he was trying to escape."

"...stupid!" Robin pushed the trash cans in front of him and garbage went flying everywhere, he hoped it would have given him at least a few seconds to run off.

"Ew gross! Diapers!" Deadpool gagged. Robin shot off like a bullet. "Crap." Deadpool said noticing ol' Pete was gone. "That's what I get for reacting like a normal person." He said taking out his twin handguns.

* * *

Robin tried hard to keep his breathing quiet and controlled, though it was getting really hard. He hated these broiling summer days in Jump, and running wasn't helping either. He turned the corner and saw the car he _just came out of_...

"Goddamn chloroform!" he shouted and ran through the street again with Deadpool at his tail.

"Hey Weasel! Hey Bob!" Deadpool waved as he passed by the Lunch Lord. Weasel and Bob sank into their seats hoping that no one had noticed.

* * *

Robin turned the corner again at the TV store, he sighed when he felt the shade obscure the sun. He heard the name _Teen Titans_ come from the plasma on display. Immediately he jerked his head and his eyes widened in horror. There he saw on the news the headline _Teen Titans Dead?_ as a helicopter hovered around the rubble of what used to be the Oliver Clyde Memorial and Museum. He felt a horrible sinking sensation in his stomach when he saw the screen and he felt even worse when he heard Deadpool moan.

"Oh my God, this is fantastic..." Deadpool moaned when he felt the cooling shade of the TV store cover his body. Healing factors helped you when you got impaled, but they did absolutely nothing when it was hot. Robin clenched his fists and dove for the maniac while his eyes were still closed and enjoying the absence of the sun. He landed one powerful blow on Deadpool's jaw.

"What did you do?!" Robin shouted and towered over Deadpool who was now on the floor trying to realign his broken jaw.

"He's doing his orders, Robin, just like you soon will be." The voice Robin dreaded the most spoke calmly from one of the television sets.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Deadpool asked as his jaw healed.

"_Slade_." Robin growled. Even though they were covered, you could still see that Robin's eyes said murder.

"The hell's Slade?" Deadpool stood up and rubbed his head. He saw the television set that held the image of the Terminator's imposing figure. "You're name's Slade? Hmm, strangely similar to someone I know..." Deadpool alluded.

"I hired him to kill your teammates, Robin. Despite him being utterly annoying, he's competent." Slade began, "But take solace in the fact that I'll never hire him again."

"Aw." Deadpool sighed, there were went future business endeavors...sequels. He chuckled to himself quietly at the fourth wall's shattering. However he felt his barely healed jaw break once more as Robin's fist made powerful contact.

"You bastards!" Robin shouted.

"How the hell is no one in the TV store noticing this?!" Deadpool asked and _re_-realigned his jaw.

"I swear I'm gonna kill you both!" Robin growled.

"Death threats?" Slade chuckled, "And they seemed sincere." he smiled under his mask, "You're learning."

Robin clenched and unclenched his fists, "You know what? Yes, yes those were death threats because I _will_ kill you. You've gone too far for me to do anything else. And don't pretend as though that's what you want me to do because we both know that you'll have no control over me or anything when you're body's being digested by maggots! You don't really want me to kill you. So stop pretending as though you're not afraid because I can see the fear in your eye. Right now, you're regretting killing them because now there's nothing holding me back and nothing for me to lose!!" Venom dripped through every word because he meant all of it. Slade didn't respond, he just gave the boy a stone cold stare. "_You_ are afraid of _me_ now, Sla-"

Robin's head cracked the glass between him and the TV.

"_That's_ for breaking my jaw _TWICE_!" Deadpool shouted. Robin shook his head and punched back. As Deadpool staggered back, Robin lunged at him and knocked him down to the floor where he began pummeling the mercenary. Deadpool quickly shot his gun, he deliberately missed from hitting anything vital and the bullet only grazed his neck, though that was enough for Robin to scream out and clutch himself. He shouted and he kicked Deadpool in the face.

"_Ouch...I guess_." Deadpool shrugged. He stood up and held out his gun in front of Robin's face. "I don't miss twice Petey."

"I'm not fucking Peter Pan, you fag!" Robin grabbed Deadpool's hand and pulled him down; he kicked his stomach and flipped him over his head. Deadpool fell on his back behind Robin; he turned around and punched the mercenary's neck, crushing his trachea. Deadpool gasped out and his eyes widened.

Robin's heart pounded faster than he ever felt. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Deadpool's gun, he had lost his grip on it when he flipped him over. He gulped loudly as he his hand reached out to grab it. He knew in his mind that he shouldn't even be holding a gun, let alone do what he was thinking, but his hands seemed to have a mind of their own and he wasn't doing much to stop himself.

"Go ahead Robin..._kill him_." Slade said noticing the teenager's fixation on it.

Robin's fingers shakily traced the gun's barrel before he grabbed its handle and fixed its position in his hand. He steadied his grip on the handle. He shouldn't be doing this; it wouldn't bring his friends back. It wouldn't do anything, but what else could he do? Just let his friend's deaths go unpunished? Let these two maniacs go off scot-free? Off the hook?

"I wouldn't shoot that if I were you." Deadpool said. Robin, who had been too busy debating in his head, hadn't noticed that Deadpool had walked over to his side and had healed his trachea. "It's called _Old Faithful_ for a reason."

Robin's breathing was labored and he felt his arm go up, before he knew it he was pointing the gun at the mercenary who had caused the deaths of his teammates.

"Don't do it." Deadpool warned. Robin's arm was shaking, it was getting tired. He sighed and let his arm down. There were tears rolling down his cheeks. What could he do? For a moment he was numb, a feeling he had only felt once before, at the circus... For a minute his stare went blank and he was looking off into space. Waiting for someone to tell him what to do this time around.

"Do it." Slade's voice commanded.

Immediately Robin's eyes widened, the numbness was gone and all he could feel was anger. He cursed under his breath and pointed the gun back up at the mercenary. He pulled the trigger. There was a sharp pain in the palm of the hand where he held the gun, and then he heard the _bang_. A bullet shot out backwards and flew past Robin's dodging head. Reflexive Exercise was totally worth it. The bullet shot past him and went through the glass which had cracked a bit when Deadpool smashed his head against it. The bullet penetrated the television on which Slade's menacing figure was. The bullet shattered the screen and Slade's figure disappeared.

Robin dropped the gun and fell to his side, his breathing was still labored and his vision was getting blurry with tears and blood. The wound on his forehead, once again caused by Deadpool smashing his head against the glass, had been bleeding pretty badly. He saw Deadpool picking up the gun at his side. He leaned over him and reached his hand out to Robin's neck and then Deadpool said something that he couldn't discern. Robin let out a gasp and everything went black.

* * *

"Aw, I don't think he heard me say _Vulcan Nerve Pinch_. Probably doesn't even know what it is." Deadpool shrugged. He looked down at a once again unconscious Robin and then at the TV that used to have Slade in it. "You really hate him dontcha Robin-err, Pete?" he asked his quietly. The way Robin had acted had unnerved Deadpool, from what he'd seen he was prone to bouts of rage like any normal person but what he had done was just plain unsettling. Deadpool shivered remembering the look on his face while he held the gun, even the mask couldn't cover up that look of delusion. He looked back at the broken television and wondered whether or not he should be doing this.

"Aw crap, I'm growing a conscience...my one weakness!!" Deadpool said and dragged Robin up to the side of the building and inspected his wounds. He was bleeding but he would live, so long as he was cleaned up.

Deadpool once again looked at the TV store with a broken TV and window, "How the hell isn't anyone noticing this?!?!"

* * *

Deadpool hummed to himself as he took all the rope he wanted from the hardware store. The owner didn't even seem to notice him; everyone was watching the news reports. Sure it was sad that he killed Robin's friends and basically broke his heroic spirit into what would soon be the spirit of a criminal but he had to admit, it was real easy to steal stuff. He wrapped the rope around his arm and walked over to the Pharmacy next to it. He looked around the aisles and grabbed some rubbing alcohol, a clean rag, and a box of Transformers band-aids which were erroneously placed with the boxes of Cyborg's Authorized Home Pregnancy Tests. He grabbed a box of those too; hopefully they would go up in value soon, seeing as how everyone though them to be dead. "Come to think of it, I should rob the entirety of the Superhero Store." Deadpool mused as he walked out without paying, not that anyone noticed of course.

* * *

"You really gotta start wearing a helmet Pete." Deadpool said as he cleaned Robin's wound. He had dragged the unconscious boy back into the car and had tied him up in about 200 yards of rope that successfully wrapped around him like a cocoon. He put away all the rags, alcohol and band-aids when he saw Weasel and Bob running up to the car. Deadpool jumped back into the driver's seat and turned on the engine just as Weasel and Bob jumped in.

"Drive drive drive!" Weasel shouted.

"What happened?" Deadpool asked zooming through the empty streets.

"The police just found the security cameras! It'll be a while but they'll get footage of us in the museum soon!" Weasel said taking out a cheeseburger.

"You eat when you're nervous?" Bob asked.

"No, I'm just starving." He stuffed his mouth full of the burger causing him to spit out a chunk with every word, "Haven't eaten anything since I dunno, two days ago or so. _God this is delicious_." He took another bite.

"So we might have time to eat before a mob catches us?" Bob grabbed the other cheeseburger and ate it as voraciously as Weasel.

"Maybe." Weasel said with his mouth full.

"Hey, guys." Deadpool spoke up; he seemed to have something on his mind as he would have usually been running his mouth during a time like this. "We can't take back the kid. We gotta keep him."

Weasel almost choked, "What?! Why?!!??!"

"Seriously? Are the walls in those stores sound proof or something? We fought like right across the street!" Deadpool shouted. "Look, when we were fighting something really messed up happened to him when he saw Slade- err, the Terminator's face. Also Schwarzenegger's real name is Slade apparently. Weird ass name if you ask me."

"You're name's Wade; the only difference is two letters." Weasel stuffed his face full of fries.

"Yes, but mine is fairly common thank you." Deadpool said turning the corner into an empty parking lot. "Anyway, what happened to him was just wrong...like...I don't know how to explain it, all I can say is that we can't take him to Slade, we gotta keep him safe."

"Oh dear God...you've developed a bond with him..." Weasel jaw fell as did a reasonable amount of fries.

"No! I've just developed a conscience is all...great timing too. Just as I was about to get paid half a mil..." Deadpool said sarcastically.

"But we can't keep him." Weasel protested, "He probably has a family!"

"A family that Slade probably knows of. Look, he's a master criminal or mastermind whatever the name is, if he can build robots I'm pretty sure he can figure out who this kid is under that mask." Deadpool stopped the car and brought out a chimichanga. "Look, it'll only be for a while. He won't stay with us that long, just long enough for the heat to die down, then we'll let him _think happy thoughts and fly_."

"Like a robin?" Bob asked.

"No! Like Peter Pan! Geez, get your stuff straight." Deadpool stuffed his face full of his chimichanga through his mask.

* * *

"If you are just tuning in, bomb squad members are hoping that the bomb they've placed on the rubble will help blow away excess rubble that's holding down the Teen Titans. Sensors show that there's still body heat emanating from _four _of the members. Yes Jump City, its true, one of the Teen Titans might be dead. At the moment we have no idea which one might have passed away but in just a few seconds our questions might be answered. This is Trish Umbridge reporting."

"Everyone back up! There's gonna be a lot of debris falling. Please, back up and shield yourselves." One of the officers shouted up to a crowd of reporters who more than likely weren't listening.

The bomb exploded. Everyone reacted quickly and ducked down when they herd the deafening sound. It took a few minutes for the smoke to clear but soon enough there were two ominous black claws reaching out from the small opening. They widened the hole that the bomb had made and out shot the orange skinned Tamaranian Starfire, her eyes were glowing dangerously, she pulled out with her Cyborg who in turn pulled out Beast Boy. Starfire set them down gently and medics quickly ran up to them. She fly off back near the hole just as Raven flew out as well. Starfire caught her just as she collapsed. She had been holding up a protective shield for a few hours, the weight of the rubble had made her unable to do anything more than that. Starfire brought her down where the medics checked her.

"Is that...are you the only ones left?" one of the medics asked them.

Starfire looked around with her still unshed tears and the cameras caught the image.

"Sad news..." Trish Umbridge turned back to the camera quietly, "...the Teen Titans have lost a valuable friend, teammate, and leader while the world had lost-"

"He is not dead!" Starfire shouted, the teas finally let themselves out.

Cyborg stood up, he was their leader right now and he needed to act like one. "He was taken. We don't know where he us but he's _not_ dead."

"Do you know who took him?" one of the police officers asked.

"All we got was a name." Cyborg said, "We're gonna find him and he's gonna pay."

"What's his name?" one of the officers asked.

"Deadpool."

* * *

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**Any Last Thoughts?**

You know, so far this is my longest chapter with...a lot of words. Isn't that something? Well, hopefully you guys liked this chapter. Whether you did or you didn't I'll keep writing this because I'm really liking how its turning out from idea to paper...err, computer screen.

Anyway, my loyal minions, I have some sad sad news, I won't be able to use the internet for 8 days, my sister is coming to visit and she warned us that she'll be hogging the internet the entire time she's here. Now don't worry, I'll continue writing and hopefully by the time I'm allowed to go back on the internet I will have plenty of chapters to upload.

Okay everyone, that's it for eight more days. I hope you don't go through withdrawals while I'm gone. Review mein loyal minions, review!!

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac

**_Fire_**

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	5. With Apologies to Miss Streisand

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Forethoughts:**

Hi everyone! I'm back! Thank you all for the reviews, and especially to my very loyal readers whom I will let them keep their dignity by no longer calling _them_ minions (the rest of you though, I'm gonna call y'all _addicts_!!! Muahahahaha!!! Anyway thank you very much Captain Deadpool, SweeneyLovett, The Wakka Man, Mewtrainer; you are all awesome for reviewing on each chapter...or at least most. And for the rest of you who reviewed and had withdrawals for the past eight days because I haven't been able to update, thank you!! Now, I did say that I was gonna write more so I delivered. Here is the child of staying up drinking mocha frappucinos, being deprived of internet access for eight consecutive days, and of course...that third ingredient. I think it's _everything_ _nice_...? Could be sugar and spice. Eh whatever. Well, I hope you all enjoy chapter five. I also have a random contest question for everyone, its at the end of the chapter when I speak again. Hope y'all are nerds.

-_**Fire

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**Disclaimer:**

This is something I should've been doing since the first chapter, and yes, I will go back and fix this. I don't want to get sued. I **do not** own Deadpool or the Teen Titans. Now that the boring part's over you can go ahead and read...by the end you'll realize _this_ was the exciting part. Seriously, there's no fighting in this one _whatsoever_. Except maybe some insults thrown by Robin to a certain entertainer who will more than likely...sue me.

Nah just kidding, it's cool...except for the cease and desist order I just got. Stupid lawyer dressed up as my cat. How I didn't recognize it wasn't Cupcake I'll never know....

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**Business Endeavors

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**Chapter 5: With Apologies to Ms. Streisand

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"'**Hold on, isn't Smarch supposed to be in between December and January? Then why the hell is broiling as if its summer?! Eh whatever. Stupid writer. Doesn't know how to write stories in a coherent timeline...JUST LIKE EVERY COMIC BOOK WRITER EVER!!! You're well on your way...'**" Deadpool grabbed another slice of pizza and gobbled it up without taking off his mask. "**'If you're wondering, yes **_**this**_** is when the story started. Oh man, I'm confused too, oh well; maybe pizza will make me feel better.'**" He took another bite,"**'Never mind, it doesn't. Anywho, as I write; me, Weasel, Bob and Petey are chillin' in the stolen Mazda with a broken AC in an empty parking lot. We've still got two and half pizza boxes left and the rest of my Never-ending Summer mix CD. It's got some AC/****DC (imagine that that's a thunderbolt in between the AC and DC), some Rolling Stones, a dash of Blondie, a good ol' pinch of the Ramones, and to top it all off, what every good mix CD needs; Barbara Streisand.'**"

"For the love of God turn it off!!" Robin screamed. Unlike Bob and Weasel he couldn't cover his ears, he was still tied up. "I'll tell you anything! I'll do anything!! Just, God please, _skip_ _Barbara_ _Streisand_!!!"

"I will pretend that you didn't say that." Deadpool said turning up the volume. "Maybe if you'd eat something you'd realize she's not that bad."

"I'll eat something if you turn that off!!" Robin knew that he shouldn't have said that but damn it, his ears couldn't take much more.

"Well then, I guess you're gonna starve to death."

"More like bleed my ears to death..." he cringed and pretended he was somewhere else, somewhere...not here; unfortunately, it was _really _hard to concentrate when Barbara Streisand was screaming in your ears. Batman had taught him well but he didn't teach him everything.

Finally, to his relief, the song ended and it went to AC/DC's '_Back in Black_'. Robin sighed in relief.

"Encore!!" Deadpool shouted and skipped back to the previous song.

"_Gah!!_ Just shoot me in the head!!" Robin shouted.

Deadpool sighed, he'd had enough fun. Besides, it was almost time to implement his dastardly plan that wasn't actually dastardly. He skipped back, which was forward, to AC/DC and turned it down a bit. After this song he'd have to go to Slade and lie his well toned butt off.

* * *

"If I were a crazed maniac where would I take Robin?" Beast Boy asked stroking his chin. Raven was crouched, healing his broken leg.

"I don't think that that'd be a very effective way of narrowing down the search areas." She commented in her usual monotone voice.

"Perhaps if we searched his name in the database?" Starfire suggested. She would've already been out looking for him if she had any idea where she could search first, unfortunately, that was only _if_, not reality.

"I already did, it came up empty. Right now I'm trying hack into the Justice League Rogue's Gallery, maybe they've met him before." Cyborg said inspecting strings of code appearing before him on his computer screen.

"Well...the guy had swords and a lot of other weapons and stuff; maybe he bought some new ones downtown or something. Maybe we might even find someone knows him or at least saw him." Beast boy suggested. Everyone's eyes widened at the plausibility of his suggestion.

It took a few seconds for Cyborg to regain consciousness. "Uh, that...that could work uh, how's your leg?"

"_Way_ better." He said swinging it in the air.

"Okay, you and Star go downtown and ask around. Raven you try and look for him telepathically." He said asserting himself as the hopefully only temporary leader.

They split off. Beast Boy and Starfire headed to the roof, he changed into a hawk, and he and Starfire flew off to the _shadier_ areas of downtown. Raven retreated to her room to try and concentrate. And Cyborg, well he just went back to typing. Code was hard to break, especially when it was probably the Dark Knight himself who helped juice up the security.

Immediately Cyborg's mind trailed off to something he had been thinking about on the silent drive back to the tower. Should they tell Batman about Robin's kidnap? He could offer a lot of help but from what he'd heard from other superheroes and at very rare times Robin himself, Batman wasn't exactly the most social superhero out there. That and he would probably bring in the Justice League, whose base he was trying to hack, (How could he explain that?), and they would probably take over the situation to leave them, the kids, (he was pretty sure they saw them that way) in the corner.

No.

Well, _not_ _yet_ anyway.

Besides, it wasn't the first time any of them had disappeared, so there was still a big chance they would come back in one piece. They weren't kids, they could handle it. It'd be alright.

He hoped.

* * *

Robin's eyes widened when the car made its way to a familiar place; the Abandoned Warehouse District in Jump, also known as Downtown Jump. '_Why does Jump even have an entire district full of abandoned warehouses?_' he thought to himself.

He felt a creeping feeling in his stomach. Dread. It was forming an unbreakable knot in his stomach. If he had eaten, he would've felt like retching right there. He knew _exactly _where he was being taken; he hated the thought.

* * *

The car stopped in front of the oldest abandoned warehouse; the old Vulcan Steel Mill. It was one of the biggest manufacturers of steel during the Second World War and helped build most of the naval ships in the west coast of the US. The mill single handedly turned the township of Menagerie, a small farming community, into the thriving city of Jump, named after the owner of the mill, Farren Jump.

The city had since stayed on the map, it had become a metropolis but the mill itself stopped production shortly after the Vietnam War...or during. Robin wasn't sure, it's not like he went to school in Jump. But he knew enough that the fact Slade had taken up residence in such a historic building was just a well produced blow to the pride he felt for the city.

'_Jerk_.' He thought.

The place that single handedly built the city was now going to be the place that brought it down to its knees, though not without some help.

* * *

Deadpool sighed and put the car in park. There was an awkward silence. He read the dilapidating sign he hadn't noticed the first time on the warehouse. A light bulb went off above his head.

"Sorry," Bob said turning off the light on the roof of the car just over Deadpool's head. "I lost my cell phone."

Deadpool ignored him and read aloud the sign, "Vulcan's Steel Mill." He said laying back in the driver's seat. "You ever see Star Trek? The Original Series I mean? You know with Leonard Nemoy as Science Officer/Logical Elf Spock?" Deadpool turned around to face Robin.

"Uh...no, I've only seen Next Generation." Robin's brow furrowed, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Just Captain Xavier? Eh. Well, I was just wondering if you'd recognize this." Deadpool reached his hand out to the boy's neck and once again executed the Vulcan Nerve Pinch on Robin.

"That'll knock him out longer than scotch in his burger and soda."

"You put scotch in his burger and soda?" Bob asked, though he was entirely ignored.

"What exactly are you gonna do?" Weasel whispered. He didn't like being here. It was creepy, and for all he knew Slade could be watching them right now, but he had to know what the plan was.

"I'm gonna tell him that Robin ran away. After we went for some food he ran like hell in the parking lot. I would've caught him but I ended up throwing up next to a tree in the park and we went for more food. He probably won't hire me to _catch_ him again," he did quotations with his fingers, "but hopefully he'll still pay for the _deaths_ of the other four."

"Okay?" Weasel wasn't sure what Wade meant but most the time he never did, "What do you want us to do?" he asked. Bob leaned in to hear.

"I want you to keep the engine running, I'm probably gonna run out of there like a school girl after Zac Efron, Daniel Radcliffe, Robert Pattinson, or Matt Lauer, and we're gonna need to make a fast escape if we're gonna pull this off. Don't turn off the car and hide the kid, you know, just in case Slade's one eye was surgically removed from like a hawk or something." He stepped out of the car and inhaled the smell of rusting metal, dirty alleys, and free range rats.

"Nervous?" Bob asked.

"Luckily being nervous doesn't come with being awesome." Deadpool said puffing up his chest and putting his hands on his hips _a la_ Superman. He tried not to breathe in the smells again and went off to the doors.

Meanwhile, Weasel took the wheel and waited nervously. Unlike Wade, he was a nervous, jittering, and not to mention sweating, wreck.

* * *

"Lucy, I'm home. Where're dinner and my paycheck?" Deadpool called out.

No answer.

"Better get paid." Wade said under his breath. The sound of his boots hitting the ground resounded through the warehouse. He hoped Slade hadn't changed his address, he still thought he deserved the money. He _had _killed four of them; just because he didn't bring him anything didn't mean he deserved any less $399, 999.99.

"Deadpool, where is he?" Slade's disembodied voice sounded louder than it was in the shadowy emptiness he had chosen as residence.

"Uh, he ran away..." Deadpool said looking at his shoes.

"How?" Slade asked. He really didn't like his choice of mercenaries.

"Well...uh..." Deadpool took in a deep breath and spoke at light speed. "I needed fuel to keep going and we stopped at Lunch Lord because I'm not allowed in Pizza Hut or Burger King or McDonald's anymore because I shot the King and the McDonald's Clown outside of a Pizza Hut. But I shot them because I thought that the clown was one Arcade's trying to kidnap the King but it wasn't and when the King started shouting at me for shooting him, _didn't know he could talk_, I shot him too and since no one was there I robbed the Pizza Hut. But anyway-" Deadpool took in another breath but he sure as hell didn't slow down his talking, Slade was shaking his head in disappointment in the shadows.

"After that fight we had in front of the TV store we ate in an empty parking lot and I don't know _how_ he did it but I figure its cause of those gloves of his that pretty much bends the rules of reality, _like me_, and he escaped while I was eating my last chimichanga and I ran out to catch him but I was still digesting the other four and I wasn't willing to throw my fifth chimichanga in front of him to make him slip because I was still hungry and I kept running while eating and after I was done licking my fingers he disappeared in the park and I threw up in the Koi pond and now I'm not allowed in the park anymore." He gasped for air again but was only met with air carrying scrapings of metal, still good enough though.

"But at the very least I killed the Lost Boys." Deadpool said.

Slade's eye narrowed. The large screen behind him came to life and was divided by hundreds, maybe even thousands, of smaller screens all talking about the same thing, four Teen Titans were safe while one was missing.

Deadpool's eyes widened, "_Crêpe_."

"_Killed_, you say?" Slade said. There was a trickle of utter rage in his voice. "_Ran away_, you say?"

'_Not going to end well_.' Deadpool thought. He sure hoped Weasel was ready for their empty handed escape.

* * *

Weasel strummed his fingers nervously on the wheel. He didn't want to stay there any longer. He hoped Wade was convincing Slade but given their track record, fate seemed to love watch them get screwed over.

Bob had found a black blanket and put it over Robin's unconscious body and covered that with empty wrappers and soda cups, from afar it looked like it was just the floor. Hopefully _One-Eyed Willy_ would think that too if he saw it.

"Come on Wade." Weasel said quietly. Bob stayed silent and tried not to step on Robin. He looked outside in the rear window. There was a fleeting movement in the shadows. He tried to dismiss it but experience of such wacky adventures called it out as not just a trick of the mind. He looked harder in the shadows in the alley. He could make out a silhouetted figure standing there, looking at him. Two white eyes flickered to life in the shadows on the figure.

"Weasel...I think we've got company." Bob said quietly.

"Gee, you think?" Weasel said harshly.

Bob looked to front and saw a small battalion of Slade's robotic minions marching over to them.

"Then what's that back there?" he said pointing at the rear window. His jaw dropped as the figure stepped into the light and walked forward, another minion. Behind him he saw something, more of them. They stepped out from behind and it was the size of the group in front. "Oh boy..."

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**Any Last Thoughts?**

Here's a little insider comment thingamajigger, this was to be originally titled _The Beginning Of The End Of The Beginning_..._Begins_, unfortunately it was too long for a title so I had to change it. When I'm older and famous you can say-...well you don't know who I am really so you won't say anything...but _I'll_ know.

Oh, and the contest question (which will be VERY easy for any TNG fan), in the chapter Deadpool asks Robin if he'd ever seen Star Trek: TOS and Robin responded by saying he'd only seen TNG, Deadpool says, "Just Captain Xavier?" Well, the question is, what is the FULL name of the character Patrick Stewart played in Star Trek: The Next Generation? And yes, for those who don't know, Patrick Stewart played Professor Xavier in the X-Men films. Well yeah, the answer will be posted in the next chapter, hope SOMEONE tries and wins because there IS a _prize_. It ain't money but it's a prize.

Well, good bye all. I shall put up chapter 6 soon. I just want this one to sink in. It's gonna be a few days until I update so don't hold your breath.

Seriously, don't.

You'll die.

And I _need_ the fans man.

Don't.

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac

_**Fire

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	6. Cosmos Quest: The Phantom References

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**Forethoughts:**

Hey everyone! I'm back! I have an announcement to make, I have contracted a dreaded plague the likes of which will never have a cure, that's right everyone...I'm going back to school. (cue dramatic music) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Unfortunately yes, I have to go back to school so I will warn you, if I don't update as often as I have in the past, this is the dreaded reason why.

**Deadpool: Oh noes! I shan't be forced to go through such a wacky adventure as often as I have in the past?! Noes!! Noes I say!**

Aw, don't worry Wade, it'll only probably, most likely, slow down not stop all together. So at least you'll still be going through forced wacky adventures except of course, not as often. But that's the way life is; full of crap. Well, just a fair warning.

And as for the answer to the question, the answer is _Captain Jean-Luc Picard_.So SweeneyLovett you've won...being referenced in the story by Deadpool (among other people)! Yay!! And it will be in this very chapter! Double huzzah, _maybe_! Huzzah!

-**_Fire_**_**

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**Disclaimer:**

Dude, I'm a teenager, why the hell would I own the Teen Titans or Deadpool? Because I'd be rich!! If I _did_ own them anyway. But I don't so don't ask if I do or I'll have Deadpool punch in the nads, especially if you're a girl!! It's touchy subject for me.

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Business Endeavors

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**Chapter 6: Cosmos Quest: The Phantom Reference...s

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"Greetings-" Starfire said optimistically only to have the door (again) be shut in her face, the only difference was that it was by a young man this time.

Though she didn't like it, she had gotten used to it in the past two hours or so, people had either just shut the door in their faces as if they were the cops that always went around the neighborhood _searching_ their houses for _narcotics_ only to find that the supposed law enforcers had robbed them. The people on this side of town were very different than those who were lucky enough to live and work closer to where the Tower was; it warded off criminals like no other security system could. But here, the people felt betrayed or forgotten, they didn't have very good jobs and barely had money to live by. They didn't like the corrupt police and they certainly didn't like the _heroes_ that were supposed to protect them, because whenever they cried out it was as if they'd said nothing at all because not a single person answered.

Downtown Jump. What a bitch.

"Lemme try." Beast Boy offered. He knocked on the door.

"_Go_ _away_." The person said.

Beast Boy thought for a moment, they had knocked on hundreds of doors and they had gotten absolutely no information. He was sick of it.

His eyes lit up like the light bulb above his head. "Star, stay here." He turned into a roach and crawled under the door. He turned back to his normal form and stood in front of the person. "Look, I just wanna ask if you've ever seen this guy." Beast boy said holding up the screen of his communicator that had an image of Deadpool on it. The police had just released the image they had gotten from the security cameras and Cyborg sent it to him.

"Who's that?" the teenage boy scoffed while asking.

"Have you been under a rock for the past few hours? This is the guy who kidnapped Robin, my teammate!"

"The hell should I care?" he said resenting the presence of the so called _hero_. Hero his ass. "But he _does_ remind me of Darth Maul with that black and red mask." He may not have liked the green skinned kid in front of him (who was probably two years younger than him too) but he sure did like Darth Maul.

"Huh, he sorta does." Beast Boy said inspecting the picture again.

"Is that all?" he asked hoping he'd leave.

"Uh, yeah. Thank you for your time, uh, sir." The kid was a jerk but Beast Boy still had to be polite.

Beast Boy walked out and shrugged his shoulders at Starfire. He jumped up a bit as the boy slammed the door shut behind him. The force had pushed forward the screen door which swung forward and hit Beast Boy in the back of his head.

He rubbed the back of his head and sighed with Starfire in a disheartened manner. They had asked hundreds of people and yet no one had seen Deadpool. That elusive jerk.

* * *

For the next hour they walked along Canon Drive and continued to stop people along the way. Still they found nothing; unless you count resentment. They went around the corner and saw the police questioning the owner of the TV Surplus Store. Beast Boy hustled forward and Starfire floated up to them to see if they could help.

* * *

"I don't know officer, I was too busy watching the news- you know why- I didn't even see the guys. I didn't even hear a shot, I don't think anyone did."

"Excuse my intrusion, but what has happened?" Starfire asked with politeness.

"Someone shot at his store." One of the officers informed the two. "You sure they didn't steal anything?"

"Positive. They just shot that plasma..._and_ they left a _mess_." The owner grumbled at the shards of glass strewn around the floor of his store. "That TV cost a lot you know."

"What kind of a person just shoots a TV?" Beast Boy asked, he wasn't thinking about the crime he was outright asking who would shoot a TV. As a big fan of television, it hit home.

"Captain Robertson!" one of the officers shouted from inside the van, he came out with his laptop. He noticed the two Titans standing next to him. "I think you two'll wanna see this too."

"What is it Morales?" Robertson asked leading the teens up to Morales.

"I was looking through the security cameras in all of the stores. Look." He played the video.

* * *

Robin was running into the street and turning to the television. Then Deadpool followed him and went to his knees for some reason. Robin turned around and punched him. As he stood over Deadpool his attention turned back to the TV and then he punched Deadpool again. He walked away from Deadpool and said something angrily in front of the TV. Deadpool smashed his head against the window and there was a little scuffle between the two.

Everyone gasped when they saw Robin grab the discarded gun and point it at Deadpool. After a few grueling minutes Robin put it down only put it up again and shoot it, much to the horror of everyone watching. Luckily, or quite possibly unluckily, the bullet gleamed for a second _behind_ Robin and the glass broke as did the TV. Robin looked down at the floor and Deadpool did something to his neck. Robin fell unconscious and was dragged from the road to the concrete street in the shade. After a few minutes of being off screen, Deadpool came back with lots of rope and a few medical supplies before he carried Robin away. Morales stopped the video once Deadpool's figure was gone from the video.

* * *

"I just finished checking the footage in the other store's security cams. They have him going into the hardware store right over here and that pharmacy, he stole rope from the hardware store and from the pharmacy was alcohol, some rags, band-aids and...a pregnancy test. I don't know why, but he did."

Everyone looked at him waiting for him to yell out _Gotcha_ but he didn't.

"Well..." Robertson started, "at least it seems he doesn't want Robin to be hurt...that much or infected with any diseases."

"Or pregnant." One of the officers behind him said. He immediately saw his commanding officer's leer along with Beast Boy's. Starfire's eyes were literally aglow with rage. His own eyes widened in fear, "Uh sorry...I couldn't resist."

"Hey! Hey you Titans!" a random teenage girl wearing a Lunch Lord's uniform successfully maneuvered away from incoming officer's and continually shouted, "Hey officer!" she said running up to them. "Hey! I saw that guy you're looking for!!" She said just as one of the officers grabbed her.

"Fallon, stand down!" Robertson ordered.

"You saw this Deadpool? Where was it? Please tell!" Starfire began to float at the possibility of finding Robin.

"My name's Amy and I was workin' at Lunch Lord's. He came in and ordered an ass-load of food. I even saw the Robin kid get out of his car. Dead-_whathisname _saw it too and he ran after him. He had two friends with him when he came in too. One of them wore glasses and the other was dressed up all funny too- he had like green spandex or whatever. I don't remember their names or anything but I can guarantee you they're prob'ly on the tapes." She said breathlessly.

"Morales?" Robertson asked.

"Already on it, sir." He rushed over to the Lunch Lord

"What else happened? And slow down please." Beast Boy asked.

"Okay, I was at the register and everyone was watchin' TV to see what was goin' on with you guys and the museum. And then DeadGuy comes in with these two guys and they order...a lot of stuff I don't remember exactly but it was a lot. Anyway so after I take down the order I notice something in the car they parked across the street and Robin he's like pulling off rope or whatever and he runs away and DeadGuy sees him too so makes the guy with glasses pay and he tries to buy me off because he noticed that I saw it too." Of course she didn't mention that she had taken the money, "Anyway, so like those two guys just stay there until their foods up and then they almost run out when they hear on TV that you guys found tape from the museum. And before that Robin ran past the store again I don't know why and DeadGuy runs after him too and he says _Hi_."

"What kind of car where they in?" Robertson asked.

"Uh, a robin's egg blue Mazda. It's the same shade as my purse." She said showing it off with a smile.

"Why did you not inform anyone while they were there?" Starfire asked.

"When they were there I thought of _all _of the cops were at the museum helping you guys. I didn't think anyone would come." She said looking a bit guilty.

"Captain, I got a license plate number." Morales reported as he looked through the footage.

* * *

"So all we have to do is look for a car that shade of blue and check the license plate number. That should be easy enough." Beast Boy said to Cyborg in his communicator.

"What's the license plate number?" Cyborg asked.

"NC1701." Beast Boy said looking on his piece of paper; it also had a smudge of the same shade of blue in case he forgot what it looked like.

"Hey isn't that-?"

"Yeah a lot of cops said that when they found out."

"Has Raven found anything?" Starfire interjected as Cyborg chuckled at Beast Boy's previous comment.

"Nothing so far. You know I'll have to give that footage a look, I'm getting a little annoyed of coming up with nothing on the database." He informed.

"You hacked in already?" Beast Boy asked.

"Yeah, I got in about two hours ago. I don't have many more files to look through though, and I still haven't found anything on him." Cyborg said.

"But we should still not be interrupting you on your search; we will require as much information as you can gather from the database." Starfire said.

"That's _if_ I can find anything." Cyborg said a bit despondently.

"Well, good luck finding anything about him anyway." Beast Boy said.

"Good luck finding him _period_." Cyborg said before Beast Boy turned off his communicator.

"Let us commence our search." Starfire said more optimistic than ever. Beast Boy turned into a hawk again and flew up with her.

* * *

"He ran away while you were eating?" Slade repeated the gist of Deadpool's story.

"More or less." Deadpool said trying to nonchalantly reach for his guns. They both knew what was going to happen but neither _really _wanted to fight though they knew they'd have to. Slade couldn't let Deadpool leave the building and Deadpool knew he had to leave.

"If you lied about them being dead what should stop me from believing that lied about Robin running away?" Slade said, he also reached for a weapon, though his was his trusty bō staff.

"Because you have, not my word, but SweenyLovett's of me being an honest individual...or did they say awesome? Hey, either way I'm Bill Clinton level awesome. And we know that Clinton's the most _honest_ individual on earth. Therefore...I forgot what my point was." Deadpool replied in a confident manner.

Slade's sole eye squinted at the idiot he hired. He scolded himself for being so stupid and choosing an insane incompetent fool to carry out a plan that need concentration and _some_ level of sanity to actually be pulled off. He had chosen _way _off. That was last trip to Amsterdam _he'd_ ever take before choosing which mercenary to hire.

He launched himself from the platform he was standing on just as Deadpool pulled out his guns and began to shooting at him. Wade got in a few hits but they were repelled by the bulky armor he wore. His eyes widened when he realized what had happened.

"Wow, that armor isn't just distractingly shiny; it actually serves to protect you! This has to be the first time in my experience that anyone's done it! I usually fight very skimpy and scantily clad people who wear spandex and such. It offers no protection and it actually makes my job that much easier. Thank God for idiots who choose aesthetic value over...well _life_."

Slade yelled and took out his bō staff and struck Deadpool's hand making him lose his grip on his gun.

"There's more where that came from!" Deadpool brought out an ak47 and jumped in the air shooting maniacally at him even though he knew he'd probably only scathe the villain. Once again he got back on his previous topic.

"I mean, sure every once in a while there's a smart person who wears bullet proof vests or Kevlar, but never armor _and _Kevlar. That, good- err, bad sir, is unheard of to I!"

Slade had dodged most of the bullets efficiently and those that didn't miss him were once again repelled by his armor. He ran his bō staff into Deadpool's chest causing him to stagger back because of the force. But Deadpool, like the merc he is, didn't let go of the trigger the whole time and ended up lodging a few bullets in the Terminator's leg which caused him to lose his balance for a bit. However his healing factor soon kicked in but it was still enough time for Deadpool to ditch his guns and go for his favorite weapon, his katanas.

"Yes my pets! Now is the time to slice!!" Deadpool shouted.

He unsheathed his deadly blades and lunged forward at his ex-employer. The swords passed through his stomach. Deadpool pulled them out and Slade doubled over clutching his stomach. He let out a deep growl which disturbed Deadpool greatly.

"Oh shit, the red terminating dragon awakens!" Deadpool said to himself. "Oh well, better kill it." He plunged his sword into the Terminator's shoulder causing him to scream out again.

"If it's any consolation, I have no regret about doing this." Deadpool said and aimed his sword for the man's heart.

Slade bellowed out a battle cry and grabbed the katana's blade stopping it before it hit his heart, though it cut his hand deeply he didn't care for the pain, right now there was nothing but red...red seeping from Deadpool's dead body.

Wade's eyes widened in surprise as Slade pulled the katana from his grip and whirled the sword in the air skillfully.

"There's a reason they call me Deathstroke the Terminator." He growled through clenched teeth. He lunged forward and impaled Deadpool's heart with his own sword.

"And there's a reason they call me the Merc with a Mouth!!" Deadpool shot back. He kicked Deathstroke back who pulled out the sword that had impaled him. This allowed Deadpool to leap over him, and he pulled out the sword still lodged in Slade's shoulder. He landed gracefully behind him and sliced the air just as skillfully as Deathstroke had done.

"Is there anything cooler than swords? Katanas for that matter. I'd say yes but there isn't...there just isn't." Deadpool said, annoying every fiber of Slade's being. "Oh wait, there's lightsabers. Never mind. Katanas are cool but lightsabers...well they're goddamn lightsabers!"

"SHUT UP!" Slade yelled.

The two ran to each other screaming, each holding a katana. Slade swung his sword and sliced through thin air. Deadpool had jumped over him and was headed for the door at record speed. Deathstroke ran after him when he saw that the idiot was going to ram into the doors.

"Run run run as fast as I can, you can't catch me, I'm reality's blind spot!" Deadpool rammed into the large metal doors with his shoulder and they swung open revealing a bright blue sky outside in perfect contrast with the damp abandoned state of the warehouse. Along with it he could hear birds singing, people cursing during their Tuesday commute and Weasel and Bob screaming their heads off.

* * *

We mean you no harm!" Bob shouted.

"They're not aliens!" Weasel screamed in frustration.

Slade's minions were dragging Weasel, Bob and Robin's still unconscious body into the warehouse.

"I better be on Candid Camera!!" Deadpool shouted.

"I'm afraid not." Deathstroke said behind him. Deadpool swung his head around only to the hilt of his own sword meet his skull.

* * *

"Wade!" Weasel screamed out when he saw Deadpool double over to his knees. Slade didn't care and impaled the mercenary once again through the chest before he punched his skull.

"Mr. Wilson!" Bob shouted as Deadpool fell over limp. They both knew he'd survive, that is if the Terminator didn't behead him, but it was a reflex neither could shake off.

The minions however didn't halter and kept on dragging the screaming men to the warehouse. Slade was breathing heavily. It had been an annoying fight even though it didn't last long but he still had to admit, he missed the adrenaline rush of fighting an equal...a lesser equal of course.

"Put those three in a cell." He said taking in a breath. The minions complied and another one grabbed Deadpool's unconscious body and dragged him along with Weasel and Bob.

"Bring him." Slade ordered for the minion who was carrying Robin.

* * *

He walked back inside his dark warehouse and into one of the less frequently used areas of it, the Infirmary. There was barely any lighting other than a single hanging lamp above a bed and a cabinet full of medical supplies. Slade rarely, if ever, got hurt so he never really had a need for the Infirmary but he knew he'd need it at least once. And as the old saying goes, _it's best to have it and not need it than not have it and need it_.

"Leave him there and untie him." He commanded and his minion set down Robin on the bed and began ripping off the ropes that confined him like a cocoon. Slade walked over to the sole cabinet and checked inside for what he needed.

There, in a sleek silver case, was what he was looking for. He allowed himself to smile under his mask as he pulled it out. He set it down next to Robin and opened it. There in the case where several dozen small vials filled with a silver-ish liquid. He brought back a needle and punctured one of the containers with it, taking out the necessary amount before he carefully slid the needle into Robin's arm and injected all of the needle's contents. Nothing visibly happened. No convulsions, no screams, no increased breathing rate or anything really. Robin was just lying there. Hopefully that was only temporary. What Slade wanted Robin to do was scream. And either way he would do much of that.

But that would take time. It would hopefully only be a few hours for his plan to truly begin, but in the end, it didn't matter.

He could wait.

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Any Last Thoughts?**

That's right; I'm full of myself...and a lot of other things too. Bwahahaha.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. I know I enjoyed writing, especially Deadpool. And another special note, 6 was to be given the subtitle: _Attack of the Drones_ and _Revenge of the Smith_, obviously these are _far_ less funny so it was decided against...by me. That and not only were they not funny, I realized it referenced the wrong movie. Darth Maul is referenced and he's only in the _Phantom_ _Menace_. So yeah, that's the story. Captivating, wasn't it? Yes, yes it was.

Well, goodbye all. See you next chapter!!!

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac

**_Fire_**

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	7. JACKASS: Deadpool Edition

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Forethoughts:**

Heyla everyone! I'm baaaaack!!! And I come bearing another chapter!!! Huzzah!! You know, because no one reads this and I can pretty much say anything I want here!!! Like so.

I HATE TWITTER!!!!!

And now those of you who have read this who like Twitter are going to kill me. But you CAN'T because I'm still not even CLOSE to finishing this masterpiece!!! I actually like this chapter, I NEVER like my chapters, I always think they're inadequate but this one! *gaspeth!!* The suspense will kill you! Okay maybe not killing you (I need the fans) but you'll certainly be shocked! And now, without further adieu! CHAPTER 7!!!!!!! .

-_**Fire

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**Disclaimer:**

*clears throat* If I owned Teen Titans or Deadpool nerds would be throwing stuff at my house for having such horrible grammar skills that I know is evident in my fanfiction. I never trust my own grammar, which is why I have a monkey named Choo-choo correct all my mistakes. Though once again, it's a monkey so any grammar mistakes still here is because CHOO-CHOO DIDN'T DO ITS JOB!! BAD CHOO-CHOO!!!! *gets attacked by Choo-choo*

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Business Endeavors

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**Chapter 7: JACKASS: Deadpool Edition

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Deadpool's eyes flickered open and he groaned.

"Alright, who's the one who wanged me in the head?" he said looking around at his surroundings. He half expected a response and half expected silence. Right now the latter had happened and he was only _half_ surprised. He was in concrete room, no windows or bars, just one large door on one of the walls that seemed to be closed and locked tightly.

"Crap. I'm in jail again? I can't do it again man! No! Its hell! The cliques, the skanks, the shanks!!" he clutched his head, "I can't go through shanking the cliques and skanks! Too much work!!" he looked around. Weasel and Bob were knocked out on the floor with three darts in each man's neck.

"The elephants have revolted!!" he slammed his fist on the ground. "Okay that's enough crazy funny for now." He stood up and felt a tug on his skin. He felt around his neck and pulled out _eight_ darts in his neck.

"Smart man, too bad he comes off as gay." He said under his breath and kicked Weasel and Bob with each mention of their name. "Weasel...Bob...wake up....Weasel...Bob...wake up..." and so on for about five minutes. "...Bob...wake up....Weasel...Bob...wake up..." he sighed and saw a small chunk of concrete that had broken off the wall. He grabbed and went over to their unconscious bodies and lifted the concrete above his head.

"This'll hurt the concrete more than it'll hurt any of us..."

Weasel let out an incoherent mumble. His eyes widened and he screamed when he saw Deadpool standing above him with a chunk of concrete in his hand, ready to slam away at his skull.

"WADE I'M AWAKE!!!" he screamed, covering his head with his hands.

"Well, there's only one way to see if it's true or if you're just sleep talking." Deadpool said lifting the concrete even higher.

"Wade! Seriously! I'm awake! Just slap me with your hand, _not_ the concrete." Weasel pleaded.

"Oh you're no fun." Deadpool said sitting down on the ground and pulling out Weasel's darts.

"Ow." Weasel rubbed his neck.

They sat down and stared at Bob who had begun sucking his thumb, all in silence. No, it wasn't an awkward silence; it was more of a...bored silence.

"Yeah...we need to man him up." Deadpool said raising an eyebrow. "So Weas, what happened after I was knocked out by One-Eyed Willy?" he said leaning back on the concrete wall. He began shoving Bob in an attempt to wake him up. Nothing more than a mumble came out of Bob. It was better than other bodily noises so he took it.

"He dragged us inside the warehouse. We didn't get very far when he tranqued us. You actually kept screaming about Uncle Jesse from Full House for a full three minutes after you were knocked out. It was scary to see you flailing around and screaming about Jon Stamos...creepy really."

"Story of my life."

"Yeah well, your story also includes getting out of places like these."

"Metaphorically or literally places like these?" Deadpool asked kicking Bob in the stomach. Bob let out a guttural groan and his eyes opened slowly in pain. He saw Deadpool and Weasel.

"Ow..." he groaned again.

"Bob, you've missed the party. The hookers just left a few minutes ago. I think the blackjack dealers are still around though..." Deadpool said staring at the door.

"How do we get out?" Weasel asked, noticing Deadpool's fixated gaze on the door.

"Hmm...Narnia." Deadpool said immediately. "It's easy, we just the get the wardrobe go in it and get out. Then we can sell the Jesus Allegory Lion's pelt for a fortune to Kraven!" Deadpool said excitedly.

"Okay I know you're kidding but I just wanna point out many flaws in that plan. One, there's only one way in and out of Narnia. Even if we found the wardrobe behind all that concrete we'd only be getting out of the same place we got in. We'd be willingly going back here. Two, it's very cold and you know how Bob gets when he's cold. He gets gassy. We don't want that, not after the Winter of '08."

Weasel and Deadpool shivered as Bob shrugged with a guilty look on his face.

"He dares to combat global cooling in a way none of us want him to." Deadpool said, gagging a bit while he did.

"Three, Kraven has enough lion pelts to last him four lifetimes. I don't think we'd sell it for very high..."

"Alright then, what about the pelt of Spider-Man? That oughta get us some dough." Deadpool said. Bob and Weasel stayed silent and just looked at him. Deadpool's eyes widened. "Oh! Right, the cell...forgot."

"What if we dig ourselves out? You know, like in the Shawshank Redemption." Bob suggested.

"But Andy had a rock hammer." Weasel said. "We don't have anything."

Deadpool's eyes widened, "Never say never!"

"I didn't say never."

"Whatever." He rummaged around his pockets only to bring out a paperclip, some matches, play-doh, and some receipts from a strip- "No one needs to see _these_." He said throwing away the pieces of paper. "I reckon we can make a nuke out of these, like on McGyver."

"Yeah but McGyver was just TV show." Weasel said.

"Never say never!"

"When did I say never?!"

"Look." Deadpool grabbed the play-doh and rubbed it together to morph it into a long rope like shape. He carefully put around the edge of the door next to the keyhole and pulled out the matches. "This worked on Futurama, it'll work for us." He lit one of the matches and tried to light the play-doh on fire.

After a few minutes of waiting, Weasel finally broke the silence. "Why'd you have play-doh in your pockets?"

Deadpool shrugged.

"Now what?" Bob asked.

"I still have a paper clip; I could probably pick the lock." Deadpool said pulling off the play-doh, morphing it into a ball and throwing it on the floor.

Weasel rummaged around in his own pockets and found his World's Smallest Flashlight.

"Perfect, now I will see in the dark just as man did when Prometheus gave them fire..." Deadpool said in an exaggerated William Shatner-esque form.

"Yeah, just make with the break out." Weasel said tossing him the flashlight.

"So I shall!" Deadpool crouched in front of the locked metal door and turned on the flashlight, determined to get himself out of there and to the bathroom.

* * *

"Cyborg!!" Raven shouted over her communicator. Cyborg immediately paused the security footage he had just gotten. It was slightly unnerving seeing Robin hold a gun so he was sort of grateful for Raven interrupting him.

"What is it?" he asked urgently.

"He's in pain...he's hurting...I can sense him..." she said sounding as though she was clenching her teeth in pain.

Cyborg ran out of the living room and into her room. He never really liked going in or near it, he always got chills but right now he could feel what she was describing but it was dying down. He opened her room's door to find Raven on her knees clutching her head. She began screaming her head off and breathing erratically with tears rolling down her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" he said crouching down next to her.

"...m-map...your map...get out...get it..." she screamed again, for a brief second she had four glowing red eyes. Cyborg did as told and flipped open a screen with a map of Jump on it.

Raven slowly lifted her hand and scanned the map. "More...west..." she said trying to subside the pain.

Once again doing as told he moved the map more to the west of Jump.

"Here...it hurts here..." she said gesturing toward the oldest area of the city.

"It...hurts there?" Cyborg asked a little bit confused.

"He's there...idiot! He's hurting there!" she seethed and took Cyborg aback with her rage. For yet another brief second Trigon's four glowing red eyes flashed before she clutched her head again and fell over. She still had ragged breathing so he quickly picked her up and called Starfire and Beast Boy on their communicators.

"You guys, Raven found him...sort of." He said rushing toward the Sick Bay.

"Sort of how?" Beast Boy asked shifting back to his normal self atop a roof.

"Well she found the general area of where he is. It ought to narrow down your search a bit but it wasn't really precise." He said opening the door.

"Where did she locate him?" Starfire asked quickly.

"In the oldest part of town." He said placing Raven on a bed. "Search there, she said she sense him there."

"Can she tell us a more specific place to look?" Beast Boy asked.

"Can't. She got knocked out."

"How?" Beast Boy's voice got higher in surprise.

"She felt him in pain, I guess it must've been a lot of pain for her to not be able to find a specific location _and _to knock her out." He said hooking up Raven to a breathing machine. "Look, just find him fast. For all I know we might be losing two members if we don't find him soon."

"Yeah, no pressure." Beast Boy said under his breath. He turned off his communicator and shifted into a bird and tried to catch up to Starfire who was already at least a mile ahead of him. He wondered if she had even turned off her communicator or remembered she was with Beast Boy on this mission. But he had to admit, if he could fly as fast as she did he too would've left her in the dust when he heard two of his friends were in pain and possibly facing death. But right now he had to concentrate on getting there. And with a strong flap of his bird wings he flew up and found a suitable air current that would carry him far and fast.

* * *

This was odd.

Robin began to scream out in pain and convulsed violently. Slade had strapped him down onto the metal bed at first twitch. And to think, for a moment Slade really thought Robin's body wasn't reacting. For a moment he thought his plan could have failed.

Ha.

That was a fun joke while it lasted. But right now he had no time to laugh; all he had time for was to make sure Robin didn't die. All of his attention was focused on that one task. That one task and nothing more.

* * *

"SCORE-SHIZZLE!" Deadpool yelled once he got the door open.

"Holy crap! You got it open!" Weasel exclaimed. His jaw dropped along with a little figure he had been shaping out of the play-doh.

"Good timing too, my bladder's about to explode." Wade said stepping out the cell, half expecting for there to be a giant gun staring at him. Luckily there was nothing. No one.

Crap.

There must have been something wrong. It must have been a trap. It must have been planned since the very, very, very, very, very, beginning of the story!!

Luckily Deadpool ignored that voice, like he always did.

"Coast's clear. Get your butts out here and help me find the john." He said.

"Hold on." Bob said putting the finishing touches on his play-doh dog. "I'll call him Spot. See? 'Cause he's got a big black spot there."

"Thrilling." Weasel said half sarcastically and half impressed, it was a pretty good dog figurine.

"Now unless Spot can transform into a toilet, give me one good reason why I shouldn't just take that play-doh and use it as a makeshift dud bomb to throw at my enemies." Deadpool said dancing a little bit. "Stupid Lunch Lord. That's it, its going on my Enemies List!"

"Because...his nickname is Wade?" Bob said standing up quickly and following them out into the hall.

"Fine. Spot can stay. But if I find play-doh poop in my room he's going back as a glob of one-time wallpaper cleaner!" Deadpool said.

The trio walked quietly through the halls, all except Deadpool who had begun humming the Mission Impossible theme, but they eventually came across the giant area that they had seen when they first came here willingly. The expansive space wasn't lit at all and there was barely any reflection from the television screens that Slade would profusely use to make his hired guns seem so small and ignorant.

"Wonder if he gets ESPN out here." Deadpool asked aloud.

"Wade, it's an Evil Lair. Of course he does." Weasel said heading for the large metal doors with Bob.

"Hold on! My weapons!!" Wade shouted giddily and ran up to the table atop a small platform Slade usually stood on to seem more menacing. He grabbed all the weapons he had been carrying around put them back in their rightful places, uncomfortable though they may be.

"Hurry up! We can't stay here much longer Mr. Wilson!" Bob said trying to push open the door with Weasel.

"I'm going I'm going..." Deadpool said. He said it, he said his bladder was about to explode, and explode it did...all over Slade's expensive looking leather chair. Jerk. Deadpool pulled up his zipper, "That's for not paying me, douche."

He passed Weasel the car keys and rammed into the doors and opened them with an extra loud creak, much to everyone utter horror. Luckily, after a few seconds they hadn't died and Weasel started the car that was still outside the warehouse. Weasel drove like a madman as far away from the warehouse as possible.

"Oh my god we're alive!!" Weasel said flailing his arms.

"Oh thank god...let's go home. I don't want to stay here any longer!" Bob said gleefully.

"Wade? Aren't we going-?" Weasel started but stopped mid sentence when he noticed that Deadpool wasn't there. "Oh crap."

"What? What crap? What's going on? What're we doing?" Bob asked frantically. He finally noticed that Deadpool wasn't there either.

"Damn it Wade!" Weasel said turning the car around only to screech to a halt as an orange skinned girl with furious glowing green eyes stood there in front of the car. Saying that she looked utterly and completely infuriated would have been a complete understatement. Behind them they heard a large menacing yell, something they had only ever heard once before...in _Jurassic Park_...and the Savage Land. They both turned around and saw a green Tyrannosaurus Rex snarling at them.

"I have regrets." Bob gulped.

* * *

Wade hadn't run out of the warehouse. He couldn't. Why? Because he heard screams. Not just any screams, screams he'd only ever heard before in a museum and in the streets in front of a TV store with an oblivious owner. But when he heard those screams then they were frustrated and angry but now, they were just out of pure pain. He sighed and berated himself for growing a conscience.

Damn his humanity.

He ran the way from whence they came and stealthily made his way through the halls of the abandoned warehouse. The closer he went to the screams the worse they sounded and the worse he wanted to leave but his conscience wouldn't let him do so. He grumbled at himself.

Damn his humanity!

He finally got to a door where the screams seemed to originate from. He slowly and quietly opened the door during one of the screams and slipped in. Slade was standing over the boy who was strapped onto a bed and screaming in pain. What the hell was that maniac doing to him? Deadpool opened his mouth to speak but when he did Robin stopped screaming and his breathing seemed to calm down. Instead of actually doing anything, Wade snuck his way in the shadows to try and get a good look at what Slade was doing. What a minute, did their names-?

"Holy Dolby, our names rhyme!" Wade said, and immediately his eyes widened in shock of what he just said, as did someone else _eye_. Sometimes Deadpool just couldn't help himself. This was one of those times. The other was whenever he was at a law firm. He just couldn't help but beat up everyone (who was a lawyer) there. _Evil scum!!!_

"_You!_" Slade said with utter rage filling his voice.

"Uh...there any chance we might be long lost bros? I bet if we were we could probably get an original series on TNT or FX...or more desperately, NBC. Besides...you wouldn't hurt your brother would you?" Deadpool backed and reached for his swords. "That is if we are...uh, would you mind taking a blood test real quick?"

Slade seethed. Stupid buffoon! And not just Deadpool either. He knew he should've put robots posted around the cell. But no, he needed assistance. He needed to focus. He couldn't pay attention to anything else! Damn it!

Slade lunged at him, yelling. He punched Deadpool in the gut just as Wade brought out his swords. Wade closed his eyes in pain for a moment and wished he'd kept them closed. He didn't hear any metal clatter but he sure felt his grip loosen when he was punched. And when he opened his eyes he saw Slade standing over him with _both_ katanas.

"Oh man, this is worse than when I got a cease and desist order from Marvel Comics. Like hell I'd stay away from their property! I _am_ their property! But that in itself was more of a conundrum than it was anything else." Deadpool said trying to distract Slade. It worked only for a moment, but that was all he needed.

Deadpool yelled and head butted Slade's head with his own. "Just like Zinedine Zidane!" As Slade staggered back at the surprise attack Wade pulled out _Old Faithful_ and shot at him.

"Goddamn metal plates!" Deadpool yelled, damn, foiled again by those stupid metal plates! "You're like...that one dinosaur...the one with the really tough skin!" He said shooting more bullets at Slade, most of which continued to bounce off, much to Wade's chagrin.

Slade let out another blood chilling yell and stuck the twin katanas into Deadpool's throat and lower...torso...region...

His crotch, alright? There!

Deadpool's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and his jaw fell down with a thud. He looked at Slade with mortification in his shocked expression.

"Dude..._not_ cool!!" Deadpool said, filling Slade's chest point blank with all the bullets he had left in his gun.

Slade's eye widened too and he fell to one knee and began to breathe laboriously. His grip on the katanas limped. Wade took this as his sign and quickly pulled out the katanas stuck in his body with a horrified expression under his mask.

"Maniac! You don't do that to a dude!" Wade said pistol whipping the mastermind onto the floor. "Especially when he's your alternate-reality-owned-by-a-different-company-brother-ishy-rip-off-mostly-kind-of-guy-who-likes-chimichangas...-dude-thing!!!" Wade finished with a _humph_ and went over to the table and began to loosen the straps confining Robin.

After a few moments Wade was off in the hallway carrying the unconscious boy. He would have made it out of the hall had he not felt his jaw break upon the impact of a fist.

Goddamn it.

Not again.

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Any Last Thoughts?**

Well, how did everyone like it? I liked it. And if no one likes then that'll be a total drag dontcha think? It's kinda obvious who punched Wade...OR IS IT?!!!

I'm currently in an elated mood due to sugar so if I sound weird...er, than usual then its 'cause of that.

I have already finished the next chapter but once again, I want this to sink in...I want it to get into your skin so that when you finally get to read the next chapter you can let out a guttural moan and say, "THAT WAS CRAP!!!"

*sighs* That's, sadly, the best I hope for. Why? It's the sugar. I blame it all on sugar...and I will NEVER stop eating it!!! *eats MORE sugar!!!!!!*

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac

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	8. How To Get To Sesame Street

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Forethoughts:**

Whassup everyone? I come bearing another chapter, short though it may be. But whatever. So long as you get your fix right? Right?

I'll take that silence as a yes.

I'll also take it as a sign to make more friends.

And, without further adieu. Chapter 8!!!

-_**Fire

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**_**Disclaimer:**

I don't own 'em. Never have, probably will one day when I'm an uber billionaire...or else I'll be thinking I do when I'm in an insane asylum. So yeah, until then, I don't own Deadpool or the Teen Titans.

However, I DO own Robot Chicken.........................................................................DVDs...

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Chapter 8: Sesame Street

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"_Where is Robin?_" Starfire said through clenched teeth right before Beast Boy let out another blood curdling roar.

Weasel and Bob's jaws had dropped sufficiently enough to be in the realm of Hades. So basically, they didn't say anything.

"Where is he?!" Starfire screamed again. She and Beast Boy had been standing in front of and behind the blue Mazda respectively, but now she walked over to the door on the driver's side, causing Weasel to have a mini-stroke of sorts. She ripped off the door and pulled Weasel out, dangling him above the ground.

"Where-?"

"Holy crap! You're alive!" Weasel finally said. He had thought to say that about five or seven minutes ago, obviously his body and mind were going at two different speeds. But then again, whose wouldn't when you had an alien that could melt you if she wanted pissed off in front of you and a St. Patrick's Day T-Rex behind you?

"Yes, we are alive. Now tell us where friend Robin is!" she said, her eyes began to glow fiercer and fiercer with every passing second.

After a few moments of fearing her he finally regained himself and began to think just a bit clearer than before...just a bit. "He's in uh...Vulcan what was it?" Weasel said. His eyes squinted as he tried to remember. "Help me out Bob!"

"Yeah the uh...place...I don't remember the name too well. Something Vulcan." He said shrugging. Beast Boy had turned into a raptor and was standing next to the door on Bob's side.

Starfire let out an angry sigh and she let Weasel's feet touch the ground but she didn't let go of his collar. She reached for her communicator and turned it on.

"Cyborg?" she asked.

"Star, did you find anything?" he asked.

"We have found two of the people who attacked us in the museum, unfortunately neither of them are the Deadpool. They have told us that Robin is somewhere called _Vulcan_."

"Yeah, it has Vulcan in the name somewhere." Beast Boy said turning to his normal self and taking out his own communicator.

"I'll run that name through the city's database." Cyborg said.

"How's Raven?" Beast Boy asked out of the blue.

"Uh, she's stopped convulsing. She's stable and asleep right now." He said.

Beast Boy and Starfire looked at each other. It either meant that both she and Robin were fine and alive or only she had gotten through the pain.

"I found something..._sss_." Cyborg said through the communicator.

"What? Where is he?" Beast Boy asked quickly.

"There're a lot of place with Vulcan in it. There's a bar, a grill, a restaurant, a memorabilia store, a park, a museum, a factory, a theater, you name it." Cyborg said.

"Wait, how come I've never heard of any store or restaurant near here with Vulcan in its name?" Beast Boy asked.

"They're mostly on the north side, you know, closer to L.A." Cyborg explained.

"Oh..._weirdos_." Beast Boy said under his breath.

"Wait, what?" Weasel asked when he heard the last part concerning the geography of Jump.

"Which destination are we closest to?" Starfire asked.

"Uh, the factory."

"It's always a factory..." Beast Boy said.

"_And_..." Cyborg continued, "...the bar, the restaurant, the store, the _comic_ _book_ store, the electronics store..." Cyborg sighed. "...the shoe store..."

"This is gonna take forever..." Beast Boy said despondently.

"Unless you bring them to the tower." A croaky voice said from Cyborg's line, it startled him and the other two.

"Raven-?" Cyborg was cut off by her.

"I'll see if I can get more out of those two bozos." Raven said rubbing her head.

"No, Raven, you must rest." Starfire said.

"I'm fine." Raven said putting her hood over her head, "I can do this."

"You sure?" Beast Boy asked.

"Look, we've barely gotten anywhere. And asking them while they're afraid isn't helping, it's barely gotten us a few hundred places in Jump. If I can go through their memories I can probably get the place."

"But-" Beast Boy started.

"Beast Boy, this is the best chance we've got right now." She said turning to Cyborg for confirmation. He shook his head in agreement.

"Bring 'em." Cyborg said.

"Alright." Beast Boy said terminating his line just after Starfire.

"Wait, look through memories?" Weasel asked. "As in...telepathy?"

"No duh." Beast boy said pulling Bob out of the car.

"Can we at least use the bathroom?" Bob asked.

Beast Boy and Starfire sighed at Bob's question.

_This _was their best shot?

Dear God, this was hopeless.

* * *

"WHAT THE FU-!?!" Deadpool screamed and dropped Robin who by now was no longer unconscious; in fact he was _so _fully aware that he aimed a kick at Deadpool's skull. Deadpool jumped out of the way just in time but he saw Robin seething, he wasn't going to stop attacking him any time soon.

"What the hell Pete? I save you from the Terminator and what do you do?! You break my jaw!!! _AGAIN_!!!" Deadpool shouted as he dodged a few of Robin's punches. Though the last punch that Robin threw _did_ hit his chest as Wade had paused his dodging to stand still and scream in an overtly dramatized fashion. Robin didn't seem to care much what Wade said, he only kept attacking, keeping Deadpool on his toes.

"Hello?" Deadpool said grabbing Robin's arm, twisting it behind his back, and throwing him to the ground. "I'm trying to start up a conversation here. The least you could do is insult me, you know, like an ass but with some odd form of courtesy." Wade shrugged.

Robin snarled at him from the ground, Wade could have called him more animal than man and been correct. Robin kicked the wall and propelled himself forward; as he was moving he pushed against the ground and kicked Wade in the head with both feet. The force caused Deadpool to slam backwards into the narrow hallway walls.

If Wade hadn't been used to getting his head slammed against walls then that would have probably knocked him out. But he _was_ used to it. Deadpool spit out some blood, though that was a bad idea as he couldn't exactly spit it out and the blood clung to the cloth in his mask.

"Blegh!" Deadpool said trying to spit out as much blood as possible, "It tastes the morning!!!" He said almost gagging. Robin punched Deadpool's gut as he was too distracted over spitting out morning flavored blood.

Deadpool groaned and stood back up. "Look kid. If you're pissed about the _Pete_ nickname then you're pretty much a little bitch about being this pissed about it. _BUT_ if you're pissed about the whole kidnapping thing, yeah I can understand that. But look, I'm willing to take you...wherever or whatever because I don't trust this guy. If you want an apology then, _sorry I did what I did_." Deadpool sighed; he hated having a conscious _so _badly. "Or whatever you want me to say, kay? We cool? We coolio?" Deadpool said putting out his hand for Robin to shake it. "You wanna go home?" Deadpool said trying to end the fight that he never wanted.

Robin looked at his extended hand, unsure of what to do with it. He eyed Wade as his breathing became labored. The expression that Deadpool could see on his face, even with the mask, was one of confusion. Almost immediately he saw a new one appear out of nowhere. Robin went blank and put his hand in Wade's.

Unfortunately, the universe had this thing about screwing people over...and this was one of those times.

Robin pulled Deadpool's arm and slammed him against the floor, pinning him down by the neck with his foot. Robin brought out his bō staff and thrusted one end against Wade's skull as hard as possible.

Robin looked around the warehouse in a confused manner. For a moment he loosened the pressure he was applying to Wade's neck but then, for the second time in only a few minutes, Robin's face went blank and his breathing became dangerously unregulated. The blank stare immediately became one filled with rage and Robin applied pressure on Deadpool's neck, choking him. Deadpool looked at him in confusion.

"The hell?" he barely got out. But before he could really ask anything, Wade heard the sound of footsteps and slow clapping coming up behind Robin.

"Very good." Slade said with a slightly cocky tone to his voice. Slade nodded to Robin. The Boy Wonder stepped away from Wade and put his bō staff back in his belt. He dutifully walked over next to Slade and looked down to the ground, not wanting to see Slade in the eye, not that Slade paid much attention to that right now.

"What...?" Deadpool asked looking over at the color clad boy soldier standing next to Slade.

"Oh it's nothing that concerns you really. Not anymore. Your part's been finished and now you're no longer needed." Slade said walking up to Deadpool, "And I don't think either of us really wants another fight, do we?" well, at least _Slade_ didn't want another fight. Deadpool seemed highly capable of defeating Robin, and possibly even Slade, if he wanted to. And of course, the mastermind didn't want that. He still needed time, and with these fights time was just being wasted.

"I'm willing to give you the money I offered when you took this job." Slade said. "All I ask in return is that you _leave_...and _never_ come back." He said.

Deadpool's eyes widened. Money or responsibility? Money? Responsibility? Money? Responsibility? Money? Responsibility? Money? Responsibility? Money? Responsibility? Money or responsi-_freaking_-bility?

It was a tough choice, seeing as how he really liked the words Uncle Ben had told Spidey so long ago, though technically he never said the phrase, it was actually the caption box, but whatever. The point being, it was a tough decision.

Deadpool looked at Slade and then at Robin and repeated the thing at least three times over.

"What'll you do with him?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing much, just train him..." Slade said looking back at Robin who still faced the ground.

"For what?" Deadpool said getting up.

"Life." Slade said simply.

"Uh..." Deadpool said, it didn't sound bad-err..._horrible_ at least...maybe, but he just couldn't shake the feeling of damn responsibility. But how could he do anything about this if Robin to want to stay? He _had_ tried to kill Wade only a few moments earlier.

"...Uh...normally, under these kinds of circumstances I'd say something...but seeing as how I've never actually been in a circumstance like this...uh...I dunno what to say really."

"You could say _yes_ and forget about all of this." Slade said snapping his fingers. Immediately Robin lifted his head in alert and ran into the dark hallways. Seconds later, he came back holding two large, sleek, silver briefcases in his hands, he handed one of them to Slade who opened it revealing, well what else, _**money**__!!!!_

Deadpool's eyes widened. "Oh boy..." he said. He swore the money was glowing in green goodness of its on greed, though that just turned out to be the lighting. For a rich guy, Slade couldn't seem to afford lighting or fixtures for lighting. Well, at least not any that helped anyway.

"Uh..." Deadpool said rubbing his chin, considering the consequences of either action. If he rejected the money either Robin or Slade would fight him...possibly both. If he took the money he would probably be able to go to the Galapagos Islands and visit that giant turtle that was the last of its kind, George, or Kal-El, or _something_ weird.

"Well..." Deadpool said extending his hand out for the briefcase. "You make a persuasive argument, Fry- err, Slade." Slade smiled under his mask (and resisted a groan to Deadpool's stupid pop culture referenced error) and handed him the briefcase. Robin walked up to Wade and handed him the other one. Deadpool laughed and messed up Robin's spiky hair, much to his visible annoyance.

"Well...I'd say goodbye but I've got a plane to catch for Galapagos." Deadpool said fixing his weapons and then picking up the briefcases. He walked over to the large metal doors and opened them with his back while he waved maniacally. "See you soon, you two!!!" Wade said happily.

He walked away briskly from the warehouse. This could totally work! This could! _This_ _would_! Hopefully these weren't marked bills. He walked away whistling a tune and couldn't wait to tell Bob and Weasel and the horrible, horrible, sickening news!! He jumped up and clicked his heels before falling on his side. He groaned and went back to walking, reminding himself never to do that again.

"_Sunny days, chasing the, clouds away_..._!!!_" Deadpool sang as he walked far away from the warehouse. Yup, thank goodness for waterproof, gel-proof, unnoticeable-until-its-too-late electronic trackers!

He took one more look back at the abandoned warehouse before he left and wondered whether or not Slade would be sending out hounds when he found out that Wade had peed on his chair not too long ago...

* * *

**Any Last Thoughts?**

So....what'd everyone think? Come on my loyal addicts! Review, tell me whatcha think and don't be shy to make suggestions, though writing "THAT SUCKED BITCH!" is NOT a suggestion, its an opinion, and though I respect everyone opinions...I can't really say anything against it so go ahead with the review, even if its hate reviews! All reviews are appreciated...of course some more than others...I forgot my point.

Oh right! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!

See y'all soon. *waves maniacally with Wade*

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac

_**Fire

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	9. Don’t Piss Off Spocks

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Forethoughts:**

Hi kids!! In today's super special episode of Deadpool and the Superfrenemies, (yeah, I don't know how that's a word either) the plot will thicken and the true colors of everyone will come up. Except Slade, he's not in this chapter.

**Deadpool: AWWWWW! But other than **_**my**_** awesomeness there's no reason to read this chapter!!**

I know right? Yeah, well, don't worry; next chapter shall be a nice long healthy dose of Slade.

**Deadpool: Yay! Does this mean I get to shoot people too?!**

Hey, I'm not going _that_ far Wade.

**Deadpool: So that's a...?**

Maybe.

**Deadpool: YES!!!! . I rule!**

Yeah...yeah you do.

**Deadpool: This is **_**the**_** most biased fanfic ever then, huh?**

Probably.

**Deadpool: Thought so. And now, as promised, a healthy dose of vitamin D (eadpool)!!! Read on and do that one word I can't remember!!**

Review!!!

**Deadpool: I'm sorry, I don't understand **_**English**_**, I only speak **_**AMERICAN!!!**_

You're Canadian.

**Deadpool: And you're misleading.**

And you're gonna be cut off in like three seconds.

**Deadpool: What are you talking abou-?**

-_**Fire

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**Disclaimer:**

As of right now Deadpool and the Teen Titans are...!!! *drumroll* Way too expensive for me to own in any way shape or form!!!! *scattered applause* I know! Yup, I'm so broke I can't even afford the new issue of Deadpool... *sigh*

**Deadpool: WOO! Bias fanfics rule!!!**

And _he_ will no longer be allowed to introduce the chapters.

**Deadpool: How about outroduce?**

Say what?

**Deadpool: You know, the end, let it be **_**the DeadCorner**_** instead of **_**Any Last Thoughts?**_** I mean, that's kinda lame-

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**Busine- **

**Deadpool: Bitch!!

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**Business Endeavors

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**Chapter 9: Don't Piss Off Spock/s

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Raven groaned and rubbed her temples as she stepped out of the Detention Area of the Tower.

"Anything?" Cyborg asked her. He had sent Starfire and Beast Boy to check out some of the places named Vulcan at their own request, just in case this was a dead end. And right now, it seemed like it was.

"It's like they're brainless." Raven said. She looked through the two-way mirror and shook her head at the sight of Weasel and Bob. Right now, Bob was telling Weasel where the spinach was in his teeth.

"Yeah...I wouldn't be surprised if they were." Cyborg said.

"I know, but there's still something stopping me from looking through their memories. Like they're not even of this earth." She said.

"What? Like they're aliens or something?" Cyborg asked.

"I'm not saying that they are but I'm also not saying we should rule it out." Raven shrugged.

"I dunno. Quick scans say they're genuine humans. Maybe their idiocy is a façade for two super smart geniuses with advanced mental capabilities." He suggested.

Raven and Cyborg turned to see Weasel and Bob again. This time Bob and Weasel were morphing the play-doh Cyborg let them take into the Detention Area. They were making accessories for Spot, the dog Bob made out of play-doh in Slade's hideout. Weasel finished making a dog collar and stuck on Spot's neck, only to accidentally behead the dog. They both screamed.

"I doubt that." Raven said, her eyelids lowering, unamused by the two's antics.

"Maybe they just need some old fashion interrogation." Cyborg said cracking his knuckles. "You be good cop-" he quickly realized the irony in that statement. "Okay, _I'll_ be good cop. You be bad cop."

Raven rolled her eyes but nevertheless she followed Cyborg in an attempt to get information about where Robin was.

* * *

"Where could he be?" Starfire asked herself as she searched all around the Forge (the kitchen) at _Vulcan's_, an expensive Greek restaurant in the richer part of Jump.

"_Hey_ _Star?_" Beast Boy called over his communicator. "_You find anything yet?_"

"No, I have not found any information regarding Robin's whereabouts. However, I have found out the reason why the restaurant, _Vulcan's_, is not graded _A_." she said gasped as she heard an Owl call out from the pantry.

"_I'm surprised it's still in business._" Beast Boy said.

"Have you found any information on Robin's location, Beast Boy?" she asked hoping that he might have found something.

"Uh..." Beast Boy said looking around _Vulcan_, a comic shop specializing in translating some Star Trek comic books into the known Vulcan language from _Star_ _Trek_.

The owners were also the world's leading minds in _Vulcan_ _Political Reform_. Though unpopular amongst people with normal sex lives, those who didn't (Nerds) regarded the idea of _pon farr_ (mating every seven years) as a godsend. Beast Boy shuddered at the thought of people like that having offspring. Those poor kids would never stand a chance.

"Well...so far there's nothing but apparently they really like you. What with the fact that your very presence proves the existence of life beyond Earth...and that in turn could mean Vulcan might be a real planet." Beast Boy shuddered when he saw a few people walk past in surprisingly bad costumes of Spock and T'Pal.

"Still think Data is better." Beast Boy said under his breath. He felt all eyes on him and he noticed that a gang of Spocks had stopped wailing a guy dressed up as Nero with logic and turned their attention to him. "Uh...I mean-!!" Beast Boy ran out of the store with the gang of Spocks in tow and even a few Scotties.

"Call you back Star!" Beast Boy said turning into a bird and flying off.

* * *

"..._on the gooooood ship, lollipop_..._!_" Deadpool finished singing. Though he didn't really know any of the lyrics he liked imagining himself as a ship captain. "Just call me Captain Deadpool!"

He had been walking for about twenty minutes and there was still no sign of Weasel or Bob. He groaned. If only he'd cared enough to get new batteries for their DeadCommunicators! But he had a theme going and he needed _dead_ batteries in his communicator. He was still sort of hoping that Weasel would find a way of making them work but alas...they were all too lazy to remember.

And his predicament wasn't being helped by all the people passing him and screaming after seeing him. They didn't even bother to wait until they were behind his back.

"It's called courtesy!!" he screamed and shook his fist at one of the people running away from him.

"Get him! He's illogical!!" Wade heard someone say.

"Either some physicists spotted me or someone made fun of Spock." Wade said looking around. Before he rounded the corner he saw a green hawk streak past him before. It was being chased by a gang of Spocks and Scotties. Wade shrugged and ignored the scene and kept walking. "BOB! WEASEL! WHERE ARE YA BOYS?!?!"

"Hey you!!" someone called out from behind Wade.

Deadpool ignored them, if they didn't have the decency to call to him (if they were calling _him_ that is, but in his experience, it almost usually was) by his chosen name, what he was wearing, or just call him douche (to that he always responded with a _friendly hello_ from one of his katana blades) then Wade wouldn't have the decency to turn around and face him.

He heard a gunshot at his feet and yelped.

"I'm turning around to face you!!" Deadpool said throwing the two suitcases into the alley next to him and then putting up his hands. He turned around to see a squad of police cars holding their guns up at him. Deadpool's eyes widened in realization "Wait a minute! I have a healing factor! JUST TRY AND SHOOT ME!!!" he screamed and pointed at his stomach as if it had a target painted on it. He jumped up, laughed like Woody the Woodpecker, and ran off into the alley and grabbed his suit cases full of money.

"He's resisting arrest! Get him!" one of the officers.

"Wait, get him as in shoot him or get him as in handcuffs?" one of the younger officers asked.

The elder cop sighed and climbed into the squad car.

"Hey, you didn't answer my question. Hey- aw, come on Jackson! I didn't- oh come on!" the younger said while climbing into the squad car himself. "Aw, the silent treatment? Again? That's the third time today-"

Jackson turned on the siren and zoomed his way through the streets to try and catch Deadpool.

"Aw, Jackson- look, I know you got sued for shooting that guy-"

"Just shut up and call on the radio for backup, kid. He said he's got a healing factor, whether or not this is true, we have to be prepared." Jackson said, effectively shutting up younger of the two.

He sighed and picked up the speaker. "This is Officer Dixon; we need backup on the suspect known as _Deadpool_. He is resisting arrest and has run off on 3rd, is more than likely armed and dangerous, and to our knowledge might have a healing factor, pack the big guns please. Once again, this is Officer Majors, a 10-42 is in progress by Deadpool, he's running on 3rd street, possibly armed and dangerous, has stated he has a healing factor so pack the meta-guns."

Jackson tried his best not to hit any pedestrian cars as he flew past them, luckily the siren gave them just enough time to react before they got into a head on collision. He zig zagged through the streets. Sometimes it wasn't exactly a good thing to be in such a heavily populated metropolis.

* * *

Deadpool sighed. "Don't these idiots know _not_ to use the siren when you're running after someone?" he said, and then he passed by a TGI Friday's, "WOO! BUT TOO BAD IT'S TUESDAY!!!" he screamed and ran down 4th to Baker's Street. Though he didn't know the names, (he was horrible at maps) he still remembered the way from whence he, Weasel, and Bob came around two days ago-

"Only two days ago!? What the flying marshmallows?! It's been like three weeks hasn't it?!?!" he said putting down the suitcases next to a tree and checking his stolen diary. He thumbed through it and hummed a tune. "Ha! It's been three day- oh wait no, that's today...not counting today it _has_ only been two days..._WHAT?!?_" he groaned, "It feels like this has been goin' on for three weeks!" He sighed and trekked his way to the forest bordering Jump and NYC. "_Stupid_ _writer_..."

His eyes widened when he heard the sound of barking dogs. "Oh crap! The feds! Cheese it!" he said running into the forest and diving his way behind some bushes. "Oh fine, I'm sorry! You're a _good_ writer. Not at all are you horrible at keeping track of time!" he said sarcastically.

"Damn! No wonder I have a conscience. But what'd I'd do first to insul- oh yeah. The confusion on which day this fanfic started...forgot. Eh, whatever. I mean, you have to admit, everyone was confused about _that _so that was as understandable insult." He dusted himself off and walked about fifteen feet until he saw New York's skyline.

"Say _what_? How come I didn't see this earlier?" Deadpool asked aloud, as if waiting for an answer. His eye lids drooped in annoyance until they widened again. The barking had stopped. "Either I'm gonna get castrated right now or something happened..." he turned around. "Nothing so far..." he carefully walked over to bushes and checked behind them with his katanas in his hands.

"Hmm, still nothing." He said to himself. He rubbed his chin while he continued holding his katanas. "Maybe I evaded them? I _am myself_ you know- er, _I_ know...eh, screw it." He put away his katanas and hoped he was right.

* * *

The skyline gleamed in the sun as if it were a marvelous jewel ripe for the taking. He sighed in relief that he would be able to calm down the excitement for the time being. Of course he would have to go back for Weasel and Bob, but he was sure that they weren't in any immediate danger.

He stretched his arms out and breathed the fresh smog air of New York as he got to the freeway. He coughed a bit. "Stupid smog." He coughed again.

He picked ups his suitcases and lifted his right leg up high, he was about to step on the blacktop of the freeway until his conscience kicked in-

"You bitch!" he screamed and fell down to his knees groaning. "I was gonna sit on my ass and you ruined the plan!!!" he cried fake tears. He wiped his mask and sighed in annoyance and turned back towards Jump until he stopped dead in his tracks. "Gotta hide the money." He said explaining it to himself...or his imaginary friends.

"Yeah _suuuure_..." he said in an annoyed tone. He found a suitable tree and cut out a sliver of bark in the shape of an arrow pointing right. He then dug a hole next to the tree to the left of the one with the arrow marking. He carefully laid his suitcases into the freshly dug hole and patted the dirt lovingly as he finished.

"Fool proof!" he said staring triumphantly at his fairly simple creation and he resumed his way back to Jump. "Okay, I go back to save Bob and Weasel first, depending on who I find first will judge who I take first. Then after those two are done I'll see what I can do about Petey. If he still tries to kill me then I'll kill him first. The Titans I don't think I have to worry about that much so long as I send them the head..." he talked the plan over with himself on his relatively short way back to Jump.

* * *

"Okay talk!" Cyborg slammed his fist down on the table. In the past hour they'd done good cop bad cop, good cops, bad cops, and apathetic cops. Now they were trying bad cops again.

"Look, for the ninth time; we don't know where Deadpool is! He either went back to the hideout, and even then I doubt that he's still there anymore, or he's just long gone." Weasel said. At first he had cowered in fear, but as they pressed on with the same question over and over he gained a voice, an annoyed one.

"Probably back home by now." Bob shrugged. Weasel's eyelids fell in annoyance.

"Damn it Bob..." Weasel said slapping his forehead.

"Alright, where do you guys live?" Raven asked.

Weasel let his head fall on the table and Bob chuckled nervously. Weasel groaned and answered, "We live on Avenger's Road in the Green City Apartment Complex...apartment 36."

Cyborg and Raven stared at him with a blank face.

"It's about five blocks away from the Daily Bugle building."

"The Daily _what_?" Cyborg asked.

"Bugle."

"_Avenger's Road?_" Raven asked.

"You know the one they commemorated for all the work The Avengers've done." Weasel said. "Went down in the dumps really quickly. Really surprising actually, I would've expected it to have a far higher market value than it does."

Cyborg looked over at Raven. She looked back at him and shrugged.

"There's no street in New York that's named Avenger's Road." Raven said.

"There's also no such paper as the Daily Bugle, unless you mean the Daily Planet but that's in Metropolis not New York." Cyborg said pointing east.

"Uh..." Weasel and Bob looked at each other. "...yeah there is."

"No there isn't." Cyborg replied.

"Yeah."

"No."

"Yeah there is."

"No there isn't."

"Look, I think I know where I live." Weasel said looking at him in confusion.

"Well, you must live in a loony bin." Cyborg said crossing his arms.

"Or maybe you just can't read maps." Weasel shot back and crossed his own arms in retaliation.

"Hey! My map system isn't wrong. I'm constantly updating it. It's the most up to date map system on the planet." Cyborg said.

"Well I don't know what to tell you because you_ and _you're map system are wrong." Weasel said standing up to meet the eyes of the robotic teenager.

"Oh no you didn't!!" Cyborg said lunging at him. Weasel and Bob ducked down but when they noticed they hadn't been hit they opened their tightly shut eyes. Cyborg had stopped midair. Raven held him there chanting _Azarath Metrion Zinthos_.

"Look, that's where we live, if you can't find it then it's not my fault." Weasel said sitting back down in his chair. Bob shook his head in agreement.

"By the way, how's that Restroom Pass coming along? I still need to use it." Bob said as he chuckled nervously.

"Not until you tell us where you live or where Deadpool would go in Jump." Cyborg said.

"We told you already!" Weasel said. His head fell down on the table again.

Cyborg was about to scream until he felt Raven tap his shoulder. She shook her head _no_ and led him out of the Detention Area. She turned back at Bob and tossed him a laminated card.

"This'll get you in the bathroom. Cyborg will take you. Make it quick." She said moving aside to let him through. Bob jumped up from his seat and jumped over the table in between him and the door. He rushed passed with Cyborg chasing him. Cyborg's eyes widened when Bob actually went into the first door labeled bathroom.

"_Thank you!_" his muffle voice came from the bathroom.

Raven sighed and turned back to Weasel. She shut the door behind her.

"Who are the Avengers?" she asked.

Weasel looked at her as if she was stupid. "Who doesn't know who the Avengers are?" he laughed.

"Me."

He shrugged. "They're a superhero team. Like you guys only _really _experienced. And they're in their mid to late thirties not teen years. And there's more than just five members." He said trying to recall the differences between the two. "Uh...there's a lot of other stuff about 'em. How come you've never heard of them? Don't you watch the news...or look outside? I mean, you guys live like right next to each other. You should've met them by now or something." He said inspecting her.

"But aren't they stationed in New York?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Then it's perfectly reasonable that we've never met them...but why I've never _heard_ of them is what's bothering me."

"Wait, how is perfectly reasonable?"

"We're in the West Coast, not the East Coast." She said.

Weasel laughed. "What?"

"You heard me." She said taking a seat.

Weasel stopped laughing. "You're serious."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Uh...but...we ran here from New York...we couldn't have gone cross country in twenty minutes." Weasel said.

"You _ran_ here?"

"Yeah, the uh, the police were after us 'cause we were uh...going the wrong way on the free way- Deadpool was driving just for the record," Weasel put his hands up, "and then we jumped into the forest surrounding the freeway and ran here. We came up to Jump like twenty minutes later."

Raven inspected him for any signs of lying. She got back up and left the room for a brief moment before coming back with a small electronic device. She pressed a button on it and a holographic map sprang up.

"Whoa..." Weasel gaped, but not at the hologram, but at the small electronic device, "Is that a Model M map generator from Stark Industries? Wow." He said smiling in the device's blue glow.

"Show me where you cam from." She said adjusting the map to one of Jump.

"Uh...here." Weasel pointed. "Mind if I fiddle with the controls?"

"Yes." Raven said putting away the holographic imager. "What's Stark Industries?"

"Okay, now you're kidding, I know you are." Weasel said. "It's only the world's foremost corporation in terms of technological advancement and employee perks. And there's its owner, Tony Stark. The man's everywhere in the tabloids. FOX has an entire hour every month devoted to him. I don't think he's even been paying them for the last eight months. How you've not heard of him is proof enough that you're all lying here. West Coast my ass!" Weasel said crossing his arms. Raven tossed him the little device.

Weasel picked up the device and read the name on the side. "_Wayne_ Industries?" Weasel said. He looked at Raven with confusion scrunching up his face. "The hell's that?"

"What you just described about Stark is exactly what I would say about Wayne." Raven said taking back the machine.

Since Weasel was still a bit frazzled she continued. "Something's not right here. I don't think that you're supposed to be here. Any of you. Like you're from a different world or something. This isn't your home."

She kept going, "I mean can't read your minds. And no offense but only someone who's been trained to resist telepathy can resist it, not just two guys who tagged along in an adventure."

Weasel pouted a bit at the insult.

"There's also this aura about you two that seems..._different_ than everyone else. You have like...a _red_ aura about you if that makes any sense."

"A what?"

"Red, you're red."

"Which means?"

"It means that you're _red_."

"Communist?"

"No, just..._red_."

"You're confusing."

"I know I am. I can't really explain it but you look..._red_ to me. There's an aura that's red about you two. For some reason I didn't see that with Deadpool. As if he belongs everywhere...or nowhere."

"No, he's been pretty much everywhere...and I wouldn't be too surprised if he doesn't belong anywhere..." Weasel shrugged.

"Well, whatever the reason, none of you don't belong here. You must be from a different world with most of the same things except with key differences." Raven said gesturing towards the small electronic device.

"So...what now? I mean, I don't even know how we got here really. Do we just like go back to the woods or something?" Weasel asked.

"What about the woods?" Cyborg asked as he ushered Bob back in the room.

"I'm not sure." Raven replied to Weasel. She stood up and walked out with Cyborg and shut the door behind her.

Bob sighed. "What happened while I was gone?"

Weasel laid back in his chair. "Huh? Oh, apparently we're in a different universe or world or something."

Bob groaned, "_Again?_"

* * *

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**The DeadCorn-

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**Any Last Thoughts?**

Damn it! How am I losing control of my own fanfic!?!

**The Joker: Easy, you're just getting the joke-**

**Deadpool: Hey! Wrong fanfic jerk!!**

**The Joker: *sticks out his tongue at Deadpool***

**Deadpool: Oh! It's on like Donkey Kong now Caesar Romero!**

Uh, that's only in the 60's TV show.

**Deadpool: I know. I'm deliberately shoving that camp fest in his face. I mean sure it was okay but when compared to like Jack Nicholson and then when that itself is compared to Heath Ledger...I mean, seriously, come on. He causes as much harm as a rubber ball in a freeway accident.**

Actually, depending on how fast the cars are going a rubber ball can be quite danger-

**The Joker: Oh why'd you have to go bring **_**that**_** up?! For the last time! I was young. It was the 60's. I needed the money. You know, all those lies.**

**Deadpool: I am **_**not**_** done yet Mr. Prince of Pranks! I bet you've never lit dog poop on fire!!**

Oh god... -_-; Uh well, I guess I _have_ cracked. Hopefully next chapter I won't be as insane...then again I _am_ writing Slade next chapter... *sighs* It was nice knowing all of you while it lasted. *lies down and rubs her temples*

***Deadpool and The Joker continue to fight the background***

I am in Disneyland..._Disneyland!!_

_(P.S. Major thanks to Captain Deadpool for that nice ol' message he sent. I hope you didn't mind the reference in this chapter.)_

_(P.P.S This is the longest chapter to date. Huzzah! In your face chapter 4!)  
_

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac

_**Fire

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	10. Wait, So He’s NOT Freddy Krueger?

**

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Forethoughts:**

Okay, so I'm two days overdue...maybe three, go ahead, kill me, I dare ya! Then what will happen after this ending!?!? HUH? HUH?!?!? TELL ME! YOU'LL PROBABLY GET IT WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! . *destroys a pillow*

*stops and heaves in ragged breaths* I'm...I'm sorry...I...I just ate chocolate!!! ...That bastardly evil vile yet delicious and tempting thing!!!! I ban you to hell and then ban myself because I can't live without it!!!!! . *grabs another candy bar*

*mouth full* _Okay, so if you can't understand or just plain don't like this chapter, I understand completely, even I think it's a little_..._eh, for lack of a better term, hell for lack of __**a **__term period double exclamation point!!_

*gulps the chocolate and walks over to her pantry that's brim full with more bars* *grabs another* So yeah, go head and leave whatever kind of review you'd like. Even though I'm not entirely sure of this chapter I've already written like the... *checks the original document on which ALL of the chapters are (posted and non-posted)* Yeah, I've got like the next three waiting to be posted whether you like this one or not...and that goes for me either. The only reason I'm posting it is because I was bored and I read this in another fic and I thought it was too...or not enough of..._whatever_ it was that was missing or didn't have enough of so I just though that it'd be better to be in Robin's mind a bit longer...you know, without all _the angst and emonessissity_.

So, grab a chair, sit on it, crack open a beer- er, soda or whatever it is that you normally drink while readin' meh fics and remember; I live off of reviews!!! SO DON'T LET ME STARVE AND DIE!!!!!!!! (Twas the sugar again, I apologize) REVIEW UNLESS YOU SOMEHOW MIRACULOUSLY KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN THE NEXT...oh I don't know, HUNDRED GAJILLION CHAPTERS OR SO!!!!

(this is so making me lose readers, ain't it?)

-_**Fire

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_**

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**Disclaimer:**

I don't own _any _of this. If I did, I'd be sitting poolside in my mansion's backyard sipping a frosty cold Coca-Cola and/or Mountain Dew and/or Mocha Frappuccino while eating brownies...one of which is mentioned in the following chapter.

Anyway, I'm not doing any of those so therefore I don't own any of these guys.

Also, if I owned Deadpool do you really think I would've allowed Barakapool to have been made? DO YOU!?! *cries at the almost literal ass-rape of her most favoritest character in history*

*sniff* :'(

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**Business Endeavors

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**

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Chapter 10: Wait, So He's NOT Freddy Krueger?

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"Robin." Slade called out. His voice echoed in the emptiness of what could only be called the _War Room_ as no other name seemed suitable. Computer screens that stretched from the ceiling to the floor were everywhere and a single keyboard was right in front of him.

The door that led from the Work Out Room to the War Room opened and Robin walked in. He was wearing a suit similar in style to Slade's mask. One half orange and the other black with metal plates placed in the most vulnerable of places of the human body. The ends on either sides of his mask were spiked upward and he carried a cold expressionless face with him. Robin stopped right next to Slade's side with his arms behind his back and his feet together like a soldier.

He turned over to Slade who gestured for him to watch something on the screens before him. He looked up and saw security footage of Deadpool running past a TGI Friday's and screaming something about Tuesday before a squad of police cars chased after him. Robin held back the urge to laugh at Deadpool in front of Slade, any form of emotion would have made him feel weak in front of him, and he didn't want that but Slade could see that his lips were tightening and the ends of his mouth were curling upward into a smile. He ignored it though, as it was a sure sign that the procedure had gone almost exactly as planned, he didn't want a robot, he wanted an apprentice, though every once in a while there were bouts that he had to fix but it didn't turn out as bad as Slade thought it would have.

"It seems we'll have to move." Slade said. He paused the footage once the squad cars were out of view and the only things left on screen were a few surprised citizens. "We have time before they catch him and he blabs. He may be an idiot but he isn't easily caught." He said while typing a string of commands onto the computer. His robotic minions came to life and stepped out of the shadows. They began to carefully disconnect and carry the heavier items in the room.

Slade didn't usually take all his equipment from once place to another but the fact that Deadpool knew about _one_ hideout meant that the Titans would know soon too, and if they found a hideout with even the smallest clue that he had been in it then they could find the rest. He couldn't leave a single scrap of evidence behind. Even a hair could put him in danger.

Slade stood up from his seat and let the robots disassemble the super computer. Luckily he had one in every hideout so he wouldn't need to wait for the computer to be reassembled. Though this did mean he had to choose another hideout in which to permanently leave the items being taken from this one.

Robin watched on as the robots finished taking almost everything from the room they were in. "What do you want _me_ to do?"

"Certain files need better eyes to watch them." Slade said striding out of the room. Robin hurried up to catch up with him. Though he was of average height for a young man his age he still wasn't as tall as Slade, who had longer legs to walk with. For every step Slade did Robin had to do two. It wasn't that it was tiring having to keep up with him, it was just annoying. He didn't like feeling short or small or basically anything that made him feel like a child because he wasn't. Not anymore. And he'd do anything to prove it.

"So you want me to take the files to the new lair?" Robin asked, trying his best not to let his effort to keep up with Slade look like a conscious one.

Slade nodded and walked into a new room; one Robin hadn't been allowed in. He walked up to a few file cabinets and chose the most important files and stuffed them in a messenger bag. "Try to blend in with the crowd." He handed the bag over to Robin and a small piece of paper with an address on it. It must have been the address of the new lair. "Oh, and get me a coffee while you're at it." And he tossed him a 20.

Robin's eyes widened and then drooped in annoyance. Slade wanted him to dress up as an intern. That's was _totally_ on his list of what he wanted to do today. He gave out a silent sigh as he walked out of the room and into his own room in the current hideout. He carefully laid down the messenger bag and grabbed the first clothes that he saw and dressed his part. He kept the mask on though, he wasn't sure whether Slade knew what he looked like under it or not but he decided that it was a secret best kept to himself...if it was one anyway. He changed his hairstyle from porcupine head to less spiked and headed to the back of the warehouse where he knew no one would see him leave.

Except Slade. He always knew. He wasn't sure how Slade knew but he did.

He pulled out the money in his pocket and groaned. This wasn't what he signed up for when he agreed to become his apprentice. His eyes widened. When _had_ he signed up for this? He slowed down his pace to the exit as he tried to think of when it was or how or even _why_. He started getting a headache and he clutched his forehead with his hand.

"_Ow_." He said quietly and immediately all the questions he had in his mind flushed away without a trace.

Robin looked around bewildered. What was he doing? He noticed the messenger bag and immediately remembered what Slade wanted him to do...along with the money.

Ugh.

He shook his head and ran up a fire escape to the roof of the building next to the warehouse. He ran over the heads of everyone in Jump as he jumped from rooftop to rooftop. He finally stopped when he noticed a Starbucks. He rolled his eyes and jumped down to the alley. He took off his mask and made his way into the crowd of people walking in the streets. He crossed the street and stood in front of the door to the Starbucks.

So this was his apprenticeship.

Getting coffee.

_Yay_.

He groaned and walked in, at least he could by himself a brownie or something. It was better than what Slade gave him to stuff his mouth. Not that the food Slade made wasn't any good, it's just that Slade expected him to eat more than he was used to. He wasn't a body builder. He was just a kid- er teenager.

He sighed.

Screw the brownie.

* * *

Robin let out a gratuitous moan as he ate the brownie. Okay, so he couldn't screw the brownie. It's not like eating it made him a kid. It just meant he liked chocolate is all. And that didn't mean anything. Besides, he couldn't even remember the last time he ate chocolate of any kind. That was _not_ normal. No human who enjoyed chocolate could say that, it wasn't natural. He just hoped Slade wouldn't notice. The man was like Sherlock Holmes covered in muscle and far more bossy...oh and with robots. He couldn't forget the robots.

After a few minutes of looking everywhere in the city he found his way to the new lair and stopped in his tracks. This couldn't have been it. This was the new lair? A townhouse?!? _What? _Was Slade crazy or did he just send him on a wild goose chase? Or was this really the new lair?

'_You're kidding me_.' He thought. A townhouse in the middle of suburbia was going to serve as the base of operations for a criminal mastermind and his apprentice?

_Really?_

He looked around. He wasn't even sure if he should put on his mask. There was no sign of anyone, he didn't think anyone would notice if he did but what if it was the wrong place? He couldn't just stand by the driveway or knock on the door with his mask on. He was confused and he didn't like that feeling one bit.

"_Great_." Robin said under his breath.

"It is, isn't it?" a booming voice came from behind him. Robin knew exactly who it was. It was all the warning he needed, he straightened his posture and fixed the expression on his face from confusion to stone cold.

Robin heard him walk in front of him. He knew it; it was Slade. But there was something different, shockingly different. He wasn't wearing his mask. Robin's eyes widened as he finally saw the man behind the mask.

This was what he _really_ looked like...maybe. Give or take an eye. He had hair white as snow with wisps of what used to be blond. His complexion was fair and he had...not wrinkles, but more like lines of wisdom around his eyes and forehead, like he had been thinking for an elongated period of time. Robin couldn't fathom what would have needed so much thought. But then again it was kind of obvious. A man like him in his line of work always had to be thinking...forever on guard. No wonder he could never get a punch in during their sparring sessions.

"So um..." Robin averted his gaze to a more comfortable sight; the ground, "...that's uh, what you really look like?"

"What were you expecting?" Slade asked.

The response _Freddy Krueger_ leaped into Robin's mind but he decided against saying it, being a smart mouth would only bring bad things...

Since Robin didn't seem to want to respond, Slade began walking to the front door of the townhouse.

After a few minutes Robin finally caught up with Slade, he had just barely realized he was alone out in the driveway. He picked up his pace so he could follow Slade around in his new surroundings. The house was comfortable looking with a classic feel to it. The walls were wood as were most of the tables. The couches looked as though they had never been sat on. And everything seemed to have a thin layer of dust on its surface; he could see spider webs being made in the very corners of the house. All in all though, it was far more comfortable than any abandoned warehouse.

"So uh..." Robin rubbed the back of his neck. "Why here? Like...why _this_?" he moved his arms in a swooping gesture to try and communicate that he was encompassing the house.

"Why not? They would expect another warehouse to serve as my base. This way they'll never know."

Robin's eyes widened, though not as far as they would if he had his mask on, "So what? No more masks?"

"Only when there's no reason to be wearing them."

Robin nodded slowly in understanding.

Slade entered the expansive library in his house and walked up to the wall that had his map of the world on it. He applied pressure to the compass rose and the circular middle of it flipped open and shot a small beam of light to Slade's eye. There was a soft click and then a hiss as the wall went back and then parted to reveal steel doors that also slid apart in turn revealing a sleek silver rectangular room.

"Elevator." Slade said. He walked and Robin followed. After a quick descent the doors opened again to reveal a room probably as large as the living room, which was _really_ big, at least by comparison to the other rooms Robin had seen.

The decor down there was nowhere near as welcoming as in the rest of the house, everything was dark and he could hear the soft hum of computers running. Slade moved his hand somewhere to the wall and a few light bulbs lit up, it wasn't a great deal more light but their eyes were used to seeing in the dark so it didn't matter that much.

Slade walked over to the console in the middle of the room. After a few moments he remembered Robin. "Leave the files over there." Slade gestured to wherever. "Go ahead and choose a room upstairs, dinner's at six." He said and took a sip from his coffee. Robin fidgeted for a moment. It didn't seem like Slade would say anything else so he did as instructed and left the secret room.

* * *

Out of sheer boredom, and the fact that he couldn't find the remote to the TV, (like he would ever get up and change the channel, what did he look like, a caveman!?) Robin decided to look around the library. He saw a large old grandfather clock; he half expected it to have the hands facing 10:47 pm but its face said it was around 2 pm. His eyes drooped; four hours until something happened..._hopefully_ something would happen.

He grabbed a few books whose title caught his eye and went upstairs. He chose his room in the same manner as with the books, (the first to catch his eye) it was red and like all the other rooms, barely furnished, just a bed, a nightstand and the door to the closet, but that didn't really count as furniture.

He plopped down on the bed and cracked open a book. Unfortunately, he didn't get very far; he ended up falling asleep with his face buried in the words.

Getting coffee was tiring...

* * *

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**Any Last Thoughts:**

So, what'd everyone think? Did ya like it? Did ya hate it? Did ya not care for it one bit?

Tell me, seriously, review whatever so that I may have sustenance for the days to come.

Please.

I is _starving_...

*dies...only a little*

Come on, would you _not_ review to these eyes?! *holds up Deadpool doing his Puppy-pool Eyes Of Death*

Huh? HUH? Come on!?

Review! My addicts!!

oh, and on a side note, if not for Chapter 1, this would've been the shortest chapter in the fic! *gaspeth* Ain't that for unimportant!? XD

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac

_**Fire

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	11. Green Bull

**

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Forethoughts:**

Aaah! I'm so sorry everyone for not updating sooner!!! In return for your forgiveness I offer you TWO updates. That's right, you heard me, TWO NEW CHAPTERS of Business Endeavors!!!!

This actually works out well for me to be honest. The next two chapters were originally one chapter but after I found out it was ten pages long and could easily be split apart into two...yeah, well, this is what happened. So anyway, yeah, TWO NEW CHAPTERS!!!

And isn't that what really matters?

Now, onward..._to the story!!!_

-_**Fire

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**_

_**

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**Disclaimer:**

I own nothing of the kind! All I own is...

...

...?

I'll get back to you on that... o.O

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**Business Endeavors

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**Chapter 11: The Green Bull

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**

"Man, looking for my minions is boring." Deadpool said to himself. He was pacing back and forth in the park. Of course there were about a hundred people staring at him but the fact that they were frozen in fear stopped them from doing anything other than gawk.

"What, ain't you ever seen a maniac in tights before?! _I've met Petey!_" he yelled and shook his fist at them. Though he wasn't holding any weapons, people still screamed and even a few mothers started crying and pleaded for him to not hurt their babies. He rolled his eyes under his mask at the people's reaction.

He ignored what just happened for the sake of the story and went back to what he was thinking before...something about his minions, was it?

"Oh right! Uh...um, there _must_ be a way to get them back!!" he continued pacing for a few minutes until he stopped dead in his tracks and snapped his fingers. "Of course! I'm a _genius_!" He laughed and ran back to Canon Drive.

* * *

Deadpool cleared his throat and brought out his gun from nowhere and walked out in front of the TV Surplus store.

"Attention everyone!! I am..._tonight's entertainment_!!" he plagiarized. "I'm also the waiter, I need to put myself through college somehow. Damn dad didn't leave me no stinkin' college fund!!" he continuously shot in the air for a minute straight before running out of bullets. He thought he heard a duck quack in pain but he ignored it because that was the _only_ sound he had heard. No screams, no cries of aguish, no laughter coming from little boys who would grow up to lead the mafia. _Nothing!_

He checked around the street. There was close to no one there as all the police had left an hour ago. He grumbled something incoherent under his breath. Something about the Smurfs, I believe.

He shot at the sky again. "HELLO!?!?!" he screamed.

No response.

His eyes drooped. "What do I have to do to get you people to come out here!?!?" he shot at the air again to the same result. "What do you want me to do? Dress in drag and do the hula!?" before he could do a dance reference to the _Lion King_ he finally noticed some people huddling around the street behind some mailboxes and windows. Boy did _he _feel silly! There _were_ people fearing that he would kill them because he was a crazed gun enthusiast/maniac.

He turned around and saw who he presumed to be the owner of the TV Surplus. "Oh, _now_ you pay attention to what's going on outside your store!" the man slowly tried to move his hand into his pocket to get his cell phone without Deadpool noticing.

"Like I wouldn't notice anyone trying reach into their front pocket for something." Wade shot up again at the sky to get his full attention. "Now!" he yelled at the manager, "_Call the police!!_"

* * *

"So you do not know where Deadpool could have escaped?" Starfire asked. About an hour earlier Deadpool was seen running past the TGI Friday's, another earth restaurant she was unfamiliar with. She had arrived in front of said restaurant after Cyborg had alerted her of the sighting. She had yet to see Beast Boy.

"Unfortunately we lost him after he ran into the woods bordering the city." Officer Jackson said to her. "We found some tracks but they disappear after a while, when we tried tracking heat signals the machine broke out of the blue. We think he may have sabotaged it but so far that's just speculation. Right now, we're still in the dark." He shrugged.

Starfire frowned. Robin was gone, the man who kidnapped him was gone, and his two accomplices couldn't come up with an answer to either of their whereabouts. It seemed hopeless but she learned long ago that even in bleak situations there was a ray of light somewhere. Unfortunately, at the moment she was having trouble seeing that ray of hope.

She jerked her head up to the sky when she heard a hawk screeching and saw it descend next to her and finally hover above the ground, though the graceful landing was cut short as Beast Boy shifted back too soon and fell flat on his face on the concrete.

"Beast Boy!" Starfire cried out. She flew to his side as he wobbly pushed himself up to a sitting position.

"Hey Star..." he rubbed his arms.

"What has happened to you? Were you in battle?" she asked.

"Uh, not technically...I was being chased by-" he was about to say Spocks when he saw the tough bulky looking police officers and he suddenly felt very emasculated, "I saved a girl from a mugging...yeah..." he exhaled his _manly _breath which reeked of tofu and puffed out his chest, "I was _really brave_, you know."

He smiled suavely at some girls who were across the street pointing. Little did he know though, they were actually discussing his rather ungraceful landing.

Suddenly he remembered the cops and the _real_ reason why he was there. He lost his suaveness (if you could call it that) and felt his cheeks burn. "But uh, you know, everything's fine now..." he tried to reassure the cops, "Uh, no reason to look into it, right?" he laughed nervously, the cops gave him suspicious looks, "So uh, what happened? Where's Deadpool?" he asked quickly.

"He evaded arrest." Starfire said glumly.

His eyes widened and drooped down, "Aw man..." he got up to his feet; it was only his arms that hurt. The only thing that could make them hurt more was doing ten push-ups. He didn't know how Robin ever got past five...

"We lost him in the woods." Jackson recapped him.

"What about tracks-?" Beast Boy asked.

"They stop suddenly and we can't figure out why. All of our machines just begin malfunctioning whenever they get near the end." Dixon interrupted.

"And the dogs?" Beast Boy asked, rubbing his arms in a dejected manner.

"For some reason they won't go near the end of the tracks. Like they're afraid or something. We can't figure out why either." Dixon said. It was feeling hopeless the more and more he repeated everything.

"_Deadpool has been sighted! I repeat, Deadpool has been sighted!_" everyone turned their head over to the police communicator. Jackson stuck his head inside and talked into the mouthpiece.

"This is Officer Jackson. What's that about Deadpool being sighted?"

"_Deadpool has been sighted in front of the TV Surplus store. He hasn't moved for at least ten minutes and he's actually...sitting down and eating?_"

"Say what?" Beast Boy asked.

"Say again?" Dixon asked.

"_He's eating._"

"Oh...okay, I just thought I lost my grip on sanity or something." Dixon said.

"_Suspect is armed to the brim with weapons. I advise on taking the meta-guns. No one has been hurt except two ducks that were injured after he shot up in the air with his semiautomatic. It is also advised to take extreme caution around him. Oh wait...he's,-he's standing up. Backup, we need backup!_" the officer on the other line shouted.

"_He's coming right for us!_" another officer said in the background. "_Shoot him!_"

"_Hey!_" Deadpool shouted in the background. Starfire and Beast Boy shot up into the air and flew to the TV Surplus. Jackson and Dixon hopped into their car and sped to the destination. They kept the line going.

"_To whoever is hearing this; I demand to see my minions- er, friends, Weasel and Bob. I assume that they're in the police's custody or something and I demand to see them. I also have other demands._" Jackson and Dixon's brows furrowed when they heard the sound of paper crackling on the other end. "_This is my grocery list. You know those tortilla chips that have lemon and chili? They're Yeah, I DEMAND A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF THOSE! Hold on, I have more demands..._" Deadpool said. Jackson and Dixon looked at each other, uncertain as to how _this_ man evaded them.

* * *

"_Cyborg!!! Come in Cyborg!!_" Starfire shouted through her communicator.

"Ow." Cyborg shook his head, sometimes Starfire screamed in a voice so shrill it hurt his head; this was one of those times. "What's going on?"

"_Deadpool has been sighted. We might need assistance in catching him._" Starfire said speeding faster towards her destination.

"Alright. Raven and I will be there soon, just gimme the coordinates." Cyborg said. He looked over to Raven and she shook her head in agreement and began typing a series of instructions into the computer. She was shutting the door to the Detention Area and putting it on high alert. Though she didn't think they were capable of doing something like it, Cyborg still wasn't as convinced as her that Bob and Weasel were just idiots so she locked down the area.

"_Sending the coordinates immediately._" Starfire said over her line.

"Alright. Let's go!" Cyborg shouted.

* * *

"_You put the lime in the coconut_..." Deadpool hummed and grabbed another handful of the spicy and sour chips he had to steal _himself_ because the cops didn't allegedly _negotiate with terrorists_. Terror his butt! But of course, under his mask, he was far more terrifying than the movie _Gigli_ with Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck so there was some truth to their allegation.

It was also around this time that he had finally pulled up his mask to reveal his mouth. Even _he_ wasn't stupid enough not to realize it got dirty every time he ate through it...somehow. He was also starting to feel a bit parched so he stood up and headed for the public water fountain.

The cops had surrounded him a few minutes ago and right now they weren't doing anything because _he_ wasn't doing anything. But if he did something...so would they..._in a very confused manner_.

"You know..." Deadpool said while the water splashed into his mouth, "...this would all be a lot easier and far less costly to your city if you'd just let me see my minio- er, _friends_."

"I'm afraid that Bob and Weasel can't come out and play today." Cyborg said behind Deadpool, "But I'll be happy to send you where they are."

"Disneyland!?" Deadpool shouted and laughed at his own joke. "Like anyone can afford it nowadays in this economy." He wiped a tear. "That was funny..."

He sighed and looked around at the Titans who were standing around waiting for his fit of giggles to stop. That's right, he _giggled_.

"So," he continued, every once in a while his chest rose up and down as his giggling convulsions were not yet subdued by his manliness, "you guys gonna lemme see my boys or what?" he shrugged.

Pressure. The thing that makes you make snap decisions as a leader; they're mostly stupid decisions though. That's what Cyborg was feeling at the moment. He honestly didn't know how Robin could do this every day, but Cyborg figured that after watching him do it for so long maybe it'd influence his decisions for the better, so he went with his metallic gut and yelled, "TITANS GO!"

"Oh, seriously?" Deadpool asked and handed one of the cops his bag of chips. "Hold it, please."

"Well, he said _please_." Officer Ramirez said under her breath.

"He's also screamed _chimichanga_ for no reason twenty-three times in the last five minutes." Harrison reminded her.

"Yeah but...eh, never mind." She said leaving the chips on top of the squad car.

Starfire attacked first. She aimed her starbolts directly under Deadpool's feet and made him jump a few feet in the air. He yelped as he did so. Beast Boy came next; he turned into a bull and rammed into him just as Deadpool was falling back down after jumping up. Wade had no time to move so he was hit hard. He fell over on his side and shook his head, seeing stars was not a good sign, let alone seeing green bulls.

"_Ohmygosh_! It's Red Bull's laziness-inducing younger brother, _Green _Bull!!" Wade said before pulling out a gun and shooting at one of Beast Boy's horns. Luckily for Beast Boy, those horns were technically just his hair.

Deadpool jumped up to his feet just as Raven took control of the ground he was standing on. She pulled it up and made him tumble down to his side. This time he had time to maneuver and land on his feet, however, Cyborg beat him to it and shot as his feet just as he landed, making a hole that Deadpool tripped over. Wade groaned and grabbed something from his belt and left it in the hole.

"Wow, I've only cracked ONE joke in the entirety of this fight. That's it, no more eating before fighting for me." Wade said before running as far away from the hole as possible.

"What in the-?" Beast Boy said just as Cyborg shouted at the top of his lungs,

"BOMB!!!! RUN!"

He didn't need to scream twice before everyone who was present at the battle had gone at least fifty feet away. A few seconds later a large banner unfurled from the bomb and the wind swept it up for all to see. It read: _You've just been Dead-schooled_.

Cyborg's eyes widened, "That son of a-"

* * *

"-_WITCH_!!" Deadpool finished screaming as he accidentally ran into Jackson's squad car. If only he hadn't been paying attention to see whether or not the banner had unfurled! Then he would have probably seen the black and white vehicle coming right for him. But whether or not he would've dodged it would've been a decision that would still get him run over by the car. All in all he did the only thing he could do in that situation.

He groaned rubbed the back of his head.

"I'm suing your ass for whiplash!" he said under his breath and sat up on the sidewalk.

"And I'm taking your motherfucking ass into custody!" Jackson replied.

Deadpool's eyes widened as he saw the police officer standing over him with a gun trained on him, "Hey, are you Sam Jack-?"

"No." Jackson replied.

"Well, you look just like-"

"_No_."

"I'm just saying-"

"No!"

"Fine. Be that way." Deadpool crossed his arms.

"Arms out please." Dixon said taking out cuffs.

Deadpool extended his arms out over his head and the young officer headed over. Conner felt he should at least keep to the books so he took in a deep breath.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do-"

"Yeah, look, I've been arrested before buddy." Deadpool said as Dixon put his wrists into the cuffs.

"_Okay_..._then_." Dixon said a bit nervously.

"And for the record, I choose to waive that right." Deadpool cleared his throat and the duo readied for something horrible. "I DEMAND TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU'RE RELATED TO SAMUEL L. "MOTHERFUCKING" JACKSON!!!!!!!"

Jackson shook his head and growled. If there weren't cameras everywhere...

* * *

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**Any Last Thoughts?**

Well, once again, I'm really sorry about not updating sooner you guys but it's just that I've been really busy with the next few chapters of this story and with like three other original stories. So yeah, I've been drowning in ideas for like the past week and a half or so.

Well, this is the first of two for today. Just gimme a minute and I shall put up Ch. 12. See y'all in a second!

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac

_**Fire

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	12. Nonsensical County

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Forethoughts:**

I am back, after only seconds I hath posted up Ch. 12.

*sighs* Wow, it's been twelve chapters already?

_Muahahahahaha!_ And I'm not even getting to the AWESOME parts!!

Seriously, I'm just getting started here, this is gonna go on for at _least_ ten more chapters, if not like fifteen... *sighs* I hope you guys like reading... *chuckles evilly*

-_**Fire

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**Disclaimer:**

I don't own the Teen Titans.

In a mighty twist though, a few months ago I bought Deadpool!!!!!11

_The action figure anyway_...

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**Business Endeavors

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**Chapter 12: Nonsensical County

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"Ahh, county jail." Deadpool sighed as he looked through the window in the back seat of the car. Although the jail was at least a good 39 minutes away, in this part of the city, not many buildings tended to scrape the sky. "I've missed you, old _frenemy_..."

Jackson shook his head side to side and tried not to sigh as he kept his eyes on the road. After only ten minutes in a car ride he realized that doing _anything _would just get the maniac talking again. He and Dixon sat as stiff as and as silent as statues, the only thing they did was breathe.

"You know..." Deadpool leaned in so that his face almost touched the barrier that kept him from climbing into the front seat and turning on the radio. "You two don't talk much do you? Yeah...I had a friend like that once, at the time I thought he was mute. Later on I learned that dogs can't talk so I gave him away to an animal breeder. He like 8 when I gave him away, must be dead by now..." He sighed, "He's humping Gwen Stacy and Uncle Ben's legs now..."

The two officers tried their hardest to keep from shooting him. It took _every ounce_ of their strength not to as the car ride went on for about a half hour more. All the while Deadpool babbled incoherent sentences about yellow bubbles and a shattering wall or something along those lines.

* * *

A group of police officers were waiting in front of county jail, each had a meta-gun ready in their hands should the suspect try and run away...again. And as added precaution, the Titans had followed the squad car in case Deadpool tried anything funny. So far everything seemed fine and Deadpool would go into custody quiet- well, he'd go into questioning and either way he wouldn't be very quiet-

Look, they finally caught him! And that's what really mattered right now!

"Alright come on, man." Dixon opened a door and help Deadpool out.

"Aww, how _naïve_! Next time you have a psychopath in your car, try _not_ to befriend them. They usually kill the weak ones first. You ever met Apocalypse? He'd rip your throat out before you'd say anything to him." Deadpool said to no one in particular, Dixon had just mastered the art of _Ignoring Whoever It Is Who's Talking_, taught to him by Jackson; however, his way of teaching was by not by telling him how to ignore someone but by just plain ignoring Dixon constantly.

* * *

Deadpool tilted his seat back and put his legs up on the metal table as he waited for whoever it was that was going to question him to come.

"So...?" he tried to start a conversation with any of the eight officers hanging around pointing guns at him. "Any of you like the Yankees?" he asked.

None of them answered, though he swore he saw one of them smile, or grimace. Whichever, he still took it.

"Yeah, I don't like the Mets; their mascot reminds me of Mayor McCheese and..." he chuckled, "You don't wanna what happened between me and McCheese..." He tried to pull in his arms to cross them but when they didn't he remembered that he was handcuffed to the chair.

"I think I shot him." Deadpool said trying to get back on the subject. "Did I ever tell you guys about why I'm not allowed in MacDonald's, Burger King, and Pizza Hut?" he heard a slight groan come from a few of the officers. He ignored them and continued.

"It was a bright and sunny Smarch afternoon. I had just finished my merc work for the day..." he began.

_SLAM!_

Deadpool turned his head over to see a very tall man walk in. He was in his early forties maybe, still had all of his brown hair and he had an odd expression on his face, not angry but also not happy. He looked like a disappointed father about to give a lecture. He sat down and dropped a file on the table with a loud smack.

Deadpool snapped, "I swear officer! Bitch told me she was eighteen!!"

The Captain Robertson's eyes widened before turning to normal. "What?"

"_Nothing_." Deadpool said quickly and his eyes shifted rather uncomfortably.

Remembering what exactly he had been told about this Deadpool character Robertson ignored him. "_Talk_-"

"Sweet, I'm being given legal permission to do what I've _been_ doing for my entire life! That and someone's finally calling me by my name instead of _jerk_, _menace_, _douche_, _ass_, _fag_, _gun_-_toting_ _maniac_, _manic_ itself, or _freaky_-_guy_-_across_-_the_-_street_!" he said trying to clap his hands together, but alas, they were still handcuffed. "Oh right...well, anyway-"

"That's enough! I didn't mean that kind of talk-"

"Obviously." Deadpool cut in.

"Look, we wanna know where you took Robin-"

"Who the hell's that?" Deadpool interjected again.

"Robin. The Teen Titan's leader. The one you kidnapped?"

"The names not ringing a bell- oh wait, you mean, Petey!" Deadpool said making most everyone in the room and watching the interrogation scrunch up their face.

"Is that his real name?" Beast Boy asked behind the two way mirror.

"No clue." Cyborg shrugged.

"Oh ok, well I know where I took him." Deadpool said picking up a Western accent for no reason whatsoever other than he had just remembered watching _the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly_ a few days ago. "An' I can tell ya where he is so long as one o' you nice sheriff's let me see my minion's and such." He clicked his tongue and continued without his accent. "_And_ also tell me whether or not officer Jackson is in any way a related to or affiliated with Samuel L. Jackson."

"No for both." Robertson responded. "Look, tell us where he is and we'll consider letting you talk to your friends."

Deadpool mocked what Robertson said and stuck out his tongue, "Like hell he ain't related! And I demand to see my min- _friends_!" he slammed the table with his foot and lost his balance and fell on the floor, crushing his hands. He yelped. Not just because of the pain but also because all of the officers surrounding the room instinctively pointed their gun barrels at Deadpool when he slammed the table with his foot. Right now however, they were looking at the officer at the table to see what they should do.

"Captain?" one of the officers asked.

Captain Robertson just shook his head and sighed. "Stand down." He said and walked out the door.

"_Um,_" Deadpool called out in slightly sore voice from the floor and therefore off screen, "_could one of you tell me whether or not I'm in a pool of blood because I smell copper_..._?_"

"Unfortunately not." One of the officers said under his breath.

"_Thank you, and could one of you also put right side up again? My wrists are giving way to my weight_..."

* * *

"That man's an idiot." Robertson walked in the room and slammed the door behind him.

"Yeah, I think that's been well established." Dixon said unintentionally. He had a finger on his chin and was inspecting Deadpool; Dixon had a certain tendency of not knowing when to speak. His eyes widened when he realized that all eyes where on him. "Oh, sorry." He cleared his throat; his cheeks tinged.

Robertson ignored him, "I don't think we're gonna get _anything_ out of him except insane ramblings."

"What if we _do _let him see his friends? He might actually cooperate. And even if he doesn't, if he says something to either Bob or Weasel we might be able to interrogate _those_ idiots and probably get some answers." Raven suggested. Everyone's jaws dropped at the mere recommendation of such an act.

"She's right." Jackson spoke up after taking a long look at Deadpool. "If he's as crazy as I _know_ he is then we're not getting anything out of him unless he gets what he wants."

"We can't negotiate with him, he's a criminal!" Beast Boy argued.

"An insane criminal with healing powers faster than I've ever seen. We can't do anything to him that he probably hasn't felt before and laughed at." Jackson continued. "And considering what I've been told what his _mouth_ looked like, I'm fairly sure he _has_ seen and done everything we can think of. I agree with Raven; it's the only thing that's sure to give us _something_ if not everything we want to know."

"But-" Beast Boy continued. "He...we can't just give in to him, he kidnapped Robin! What if he killed him? Are we just gonna let him do that and then just give him what he wants?!"

"Beast Boy, they are correct." Starfire spoke, up until them she had been uncharacteristically silent and more serious that usual. "And we are uncertain that he has even done anything to Robin. Perhaps he is still alive, and if he is, the only way we can find out where he is being held is by giving Deadpool what he wishes."

Beast Boy stood silently and grumbled under his breath.

Raven spoke for him, "We're willing to go get Bob and Weasel if we have to."

Robertson grimaced. He didn't like the idea either.

"Felix." Jackson said. He gave him a look that said _Do it_.

"Fine." Robertson said. "Get them over here as quickly as possible."

"Actually, we might need a police transport vehicle for when we get to shore." Cyborg spoke up. "Bob told me he was afraid of flying." He shrugged.

Robertson groaned. "Michael, Conner. Get a police transport vehicle ready near the docks for 'em. On the double, go!"

The two cops nodded, as did the Titans, and they left the room, leaving only Robertson behind.

Dixon sped up to catch up to Jackson, "Wait, so your name's Michael Jack-?"

"Shut up." Jackson said and leered at him.

"_Okay_." Dixon slowed down a little, but not too much.

* * *

"Spot II." Bob said and he presented it to Weasel.

Weasel groaned in boredom.

"Oh come on, he's not _that_ bad looking." Bob protested.

"Of course he's not but I'm bored! Why didn't she leave the map?" he whined and let his head down on the table.

"If you want I can euthanize Spot II so you'll have some play-doh."

"I don't wanna play with stupid-!!" Weasel stopped and widened his eyes, "Play-doh?"

"Uh...yes?" Bob asked.

"Gimme that." Weasel said and ripped the head off of Spot II. He rubbed his hands together and formed a long flat surface on the table. He took off his shoelace and pulled off the little plastic thing and put it on the play-doh. He folded the clay in half and made sure that a piece of the lace stuck out. He stuck the play-doh to the door's lock.

"Thank you, Wade!" Weasel said and he pulled out the matches from Wade's wallet that he forgot to give back. He lit the end of his shoelace and the fire crawled upward to the play-doh. Weasel ran behind the table that Bob had flipped over for a shield.

There was a loud popping sound and the door creaked open. "YES!" Weasel shouted and he and Bob jumped over the flipped table to the open door.

"To freedom!" Bob quoted Deadpool.

"More like back to the cell." Weasel said. He pointed at the screen of one of the security cameras, the Titans were flying back to the tower.

"So close." Bob sighed.

"Hmm..." Weasel rubbed his chin and sat down on the chair to one of the security consoles. He let out a gleeful laugh and began hacking into the Tower's mainframe. "Bob, tell me if they're getting near here."

"_Okay_..." Bob said nervously.

"How many minutes do we have?" Weasel asked.

"A good twenty minutes, I suppose." Bob replied.

"Good." Weasel got up from his chair and ran to a bin that had his laptop and various other items. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the small map projector. He laughed slyly and put it in his pocket. He dashed back to the terminal and connected his USB port with that of the terminal he was currently hacking into.

"How much longer?" Weasel asked handing over some of Bob's stuff while the items were transferred.

"Eighteen minutes by my count." Bob replied. His eyes widened. "Uh never mind, they're going faster now."

"What?"

"Okay, they're gonna be here in probably...ten minutes, maybe less." Bob reported nervously.

"Not a problem." Weasel said. He typed something into the terminal. "Their downfall was that their computers transfer things quicker than any computer known to man." He let out a giddy yell. "They have cars! Automatic cars!"

"But, if it's their cars, won't they be able to track us?"

"Not if I sever the connection." Weasel typed in more commands and in about a minute he let out another yell. "Let's go!" He disconnected everything and ran out the door with Bob at his tail.

"How many more minutes do you think we have?!" Weasel yelled over the sound of wind barely rushing past his face.

"'Bout five, then we're toast!" Bob said running past Weasel.

"Hey!" Weasel pushed himself forward to keep up with Bob.

"Which way do we go?!" Bob asked.

"Just follow me!" Weasel said and he ran into an elevator.

"Why do they have elevators?" Bob panted as Weasel connected his computer to their mode of transportation.

"This place is huge, why not?" Weasel spoke as he typed in a new string of commands. "_Tada!_" he said.

"What did you do?" Bob asked.

"I'm making the elevator go faster." Weasel said. "Sure it'll be dangerous and would probably kill us, but the mere fact that I'm still alive after all those years with Wade is proof enough that though I'm not bullet or katana proof, I _am_ very lucky." He said.

Almost immediately they could feel the sensation of weightlessness. For a moment their feet lifted off the ground before coming back down. They stumbled onto each other and the door opened to reveal an enormous garage.

Weasel disconnected everything once again and ran towards one of the vehicles.

"Why not this one?" Bob pointed at a mini-van that look a lot like what Cyborg would like if he were a car.

"Because that one's directly connected to Cyborg." Weasel said jumping on a bright red motorcycle.

"Do you even know how to ride a motorcycle?!" Bob yelled.

"It's automatic! Now get your ass over here before we go to jail!!" Weasel screamed. Bob groaned and jumped on. Weasel typed a few commands onto his laptop and behind them a door opened to an underground tunnel.

"_Coooool_." They both said, entranced by the mysterious tunnel behind them. Weasel put away his laptop in his backpack and revved the motorcycle, he pressed a string of commands with the buttons on the cycle and the bike sped into the darkness.

"You just chose this one because you've always wanted a motorcycle, huh?" Bob asked as they descended into the darkness.

"Pretty much." Weasel replied.

* * *

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**Any Last Thoughts?**

Well, that's all for now. Hopefully I won't be as busy this Saturday as I was last, I would very much like to post up the next chapter. And don't worry Deadheads; Deadpool will be in the next chapter and the one after that. I've heard your cries and I shall make sure that Deadpool appears at _least_ once in every chapter in some way.

Is everyone alright now? Am I still gonna get death threats for not including Wade in a chapter?

Am I?

No? Okay, that's good. *sighs in relief*

Okay, so cross your fingers everyone and hope I'm not busy next Saturday!!

See you all _very soon_.

And remember; _review_!!

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac

_**Fire

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	13. A Pillow's Worth A Thousand Megabytes

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Forethoughts:**

THRICE IN A WEEK!?!?!

Wow, what did you guys do to get me so happy?!

Oh that's right, you guys reviewed!!

9 reviews for the last two chapters. Hmm, maybe I should consider doing the double features more often... *strokes chin*

**Deadpool: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I don't have time for that! I'm too busy playing myself in UA2 to even CONSIDER doing more pro-boner work!**

Uh, the word's pro-bono-

**Deadpool: I know what I said...**

*backs away slowly* Uh...anyway, so yeah, okay, maybe not for the Double Features thing seeing as how I too just got UA2!! *jumps around giddily* So if the stories are grinding out even slower than usual _that_ would be the cause-

**Deadpool: *in the background* DIE WHORE DIE! THAT'S RIGHT! YOU STARK, YOU MAN GIGILO! YOU DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU GOT THAT RICH!!?!!??!?!**

Ignore him. So, just because I'm feeling giddy of all the reviews I got I shall post another chapter! And guess what people?

**Deadpool: I just saved a bunch of money by switching from Geico to Gecko insurance! When super problems need super insurance! *does thumbs up***

NO! You are technically a figment of imagination and insanity, not a person!! Now get back to playing UA2 and tell me how to unlock Jean Grey!!

**Deadpool: *sniff* You didn't have to remind me of that... : ( *the walking away theme from the Incredible Hulk plays***

*rolls eyes* Oi...anyway, the fics almost gotten 50 reviews! 50! For me (a relatively new member who has only written like what was it? 3 things for FF?) that is a landmark so huzzah! Yay! So people, GET REVIEWING!

-_**Fire

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**Disclaimer:**

I do not own the Teen Titans or Deadpool. If I did I'd be stinking rich and trying to get the movies made faster!! FASTER I SAY! Screw the Green Lantern I want Ryan Reynolds to play Deadpool again!

I said DEADpool not BARKApool okay Deadheads? I too was very very saddened by that turn of events...*sighs*

**Deadpool: Two Disclaimers in a row in which you've referenced that time I was doing cocaine...it was a dark period for all of my fans... *sighs* Let's have a moment of silence for the death of my dignity... *sniff***

Okay, that's enough! *pushes Wade aside* The people paid...well, they _reviewed_ to read a story, not to take a moment of silence for a figment of my insanity.

**Deadpool: But! My dignity!**

Was mutilated _looooong_ before Barakapool.

**Deadpool: Oh yeah...**

One more warning. This chapter contains gratuitous amounts of unnecessary computer lingo only used by hackers that I'm almost certain NO ONE USES and makes absolutely NO SENSE so bear with me here because I don't know how to hack, however, this doesn't need to make _perfect_ sense I just tried to make it as realistic as I know it's possible. So, in conclusion, all I describe in the hack scene is like nigh improbable if not impossible and more than likely incorrect so don't crucify me if I get it all wrong, it's all for the sake of the story!

**Deadpool: Damn right! It's **_**my **_**job to crucify you! *grumbles* Making me fight a quintet of snot nosed teenagers who don't know the meaning of birth control, therapy, and American animation!!! It may be crappy but they move faster than in anime! BELIEVE IT!

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**Business Endeavors

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**Chapter 13: A Pillow's Worth A Thousand Megabytes

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"Where are they? Where are they?! WHERE ARE THEY!?!" Cyborg screamed. If he had hair, he would have torn it out and gone bald, but he was already bald so he didn't...or _couldn't_. Beast Boy handed him another pillow to tear open.

"Argh!" Cyborg screamed and slapped his head. "I can't believe we left them alone!" he ripped the pillow to shreds and sighed. "More please." He asked despondently as Beast Boy handed him yet another from a large pile behind him.

"Thank you." He said and tore the pillow a new one.

"Did you find anything?" Raven spoke up behind Cyborg. Immediately he spit the feather out of his mouth and gave her an annoyed look.

"That little weasel, _Weasel_, erased all the tapes!" He went back to shredding the pillow into oblivion. Along with him copying most of their files and disabling their communicators, Weasel had deleted all traces of video from their escape.

Cyborg could not wait to rip Weasel to pieces like he was doing with the pillows. In fact, the pillows were just practice, which is why they had a picture of Weasel's face taped on them. Cyborg held out his hand and Beast Boy handed him another. Beast Boy was being oddly silent right now. Raven both welcomed and rejected the silence.

Cyborg finished destroying the pillow and asked, "What did you two find?"

"Robin's cycle is missing." Raven said.

Cyborg's eyes widened. "Say again?"

"Robin's cycle, they must have taken it." Raven arched one of her eyebrows. "What?"

"Uh..." Cyborg turned his seat around so as to not face Raven.

Raven marched over and turned Cyborg back around in his seat so he would face her, she gave him _The Look_, "_What?_"

Cyborg began sweating bullets and he crumbled under Raven's piercing gaze, "Well...uh, you see, Robin's cycle still had a connection in uh, Gotham...and..."

"...if Weasel severed the connection..." Beast Boy broke from his silence as his eyes widened.

"...then Batman would know that something is amiss." Raven finished.

The name sank about as hard as if they had just said Slade's name. Well, maybe it was more welcome but it was still bringing down the mood...more so than Weasel and Bob's escape had.

"_Oh no_." Beast Boy said.

"He's gonna come..." Cyborg started, "Then maybe he'll find out that I hacked into the JLA's database...and then Justice League'll come and..." he covered his eyes with his hands. He really hoped this was just a nightmare they all seemed to be having at the exact same time.

"Where's Star?" Beast Boy asked unenthusiastically.

"She's still searching around to see if they stole anything else." Raven replied.

"Oh..." he looked at his feet, "I'm gonna go see if she needs any help." He walked out the door. He knew that they knew he just said that as an excuse to go to his room but they didn't blame him. The situation was getting far out of hand.

"Can you at least bypass what he's done to the mainframe?" Raven asked.

"I've been trying to for the past hour. So far I'm just hitting roadblocks he's put up. If I keep at it I'll probably be able to fix everything but by then..." Cyborg shrugged. He turned around and he squinted his eyes.

"What?" Raven asked, she leaned in on the screen.

"Something's happening..." Cyborg trailed. His mouth widened in a smile and he started typing furiously on the console.

* * *

"Uh-oh." Weasel said.

"What _uh-oh_?" Bob asked.

"He saw me." Weasel whispered.

He and Bob were leaning against a tree in the park. Thanks to the power of the internet, they had found out that Deadpool had gotten arrested. Weasel had spent the last half hour trying to hack back into the tower and download the schematics to the prison. And Bob was...well he was eating. He didn't really have anything better to do as Weasel was typing furiously and seemed to ignore everything around him; in fact he even seemed dead as he didn't blink, that is, until he hit a roadblock...a large blue and white roadblock that was more of hybrid between man and machine.

"What do you mean he _saw you_?"

"I'm saying he's seen what I'm doing. He knows what I'm doing and how I'm doing it!" Weasel said typing maniacally at his computer. "Sever connection! Sever the goddamn connection!!!"

* * *

"Aha! I gotcha you sneaky bastard!" Cyborg yelled. He continued typing up a storm. Raven stood by in silence, she wasn't anywhere near as savvy with computers as Cyborg was but she knew that asking questions would probably hurt more than it helped.

* * *

"What's happening?" Bob asked.

"Shut up!" Weasel panicked and typed faster and faster until his fingers were just a blur. "Alright..." Weasel let out a sigh. "Come and get me you half man half a piece of sh-!"

* * *

"-ot. Sorta like this." Deadpool tried to pull up his hands as though they were a gun unfortunately he was still handcuffed to the chair, much to his dismay. "Damn it, I keep forgetting."

"We know." Robertson by now struggled not to kill the suspect with his bare hands. "Now, will you tell us where Robin is?"

"Well, where are Bob and Weasel?" Deadpool asked.

"I told you, they've been transported to a high security prison. And I know the warden there very well; he would never agree to let them visit you immediately after they arrive there. Hell, I wouldn't either!" Robertson answered his question for what seemed to be the twentieth time in a row with the same rehearsed lie.

Deadpool sighed. "I was so looking forward to seeing them again..." he said despondently. "How long do you think until he lets them visit?"

"Probably over his dead body." Robertson deadpanned.

"I can wait that long." Deadpool replied with a smile under his mask. "How old's the warden, like fifty? Yeah, I can wait." Deadpool said. After a few minutes of silence he started whistling out of boredom.

Robertson shook his head and sighed at the hopeless situation. "Take him to his cell."

"Ooh, I get my very own cell!?" Deadpool asked excitedly. "Can I get a pony too!?"

Robertson pinched the bridge of his nose and left the room through the glass door.

Deadpool's gaze fell beyond the glass door and he checked the billboard that was currently running an ad for soda. About twenty minutes earlier he had seen a message he was 98.3% positive that was meant for him. '_Penetraitor to Dead Man, sit tight_,' is what the message had said before it turned back to advertising Coca-cola.

Yeah.

It was for him.

He stood up as one of the police officers put on another set of handcuffs on his wrists and then undid the ones that were cuffed to his chair.

"Come on." The officer said as he led Deadpool to one of the cells.

The cell was small and dark, there was only one lamp; it was on the ceiling, and there was a small barred window on the side of one the walls. Luckily for him, it was right in front of the billboard ad. He smiled to himself as the officer shut the barred door with a clang.

* * *

"There we go..." Weasel sighed and leaned back against the tree.

"What just happened?" Bob asked.

"He saw me trying to steal schematics to the prison and tried to stop me. I was able to find away around _his_ stuff but he found another way. I decided to screw it and I sent him a virus. I was almost halfway done with downloading the map when he sent me his _own_ virus and tried to find our location. I tweaked his virus and sent it to him while I sent my old virus again, he was so busy with his own virus that he didn't notice the second one and I was able to finish downloading the schematics."

* * *

"Little does he know that those plans are _fake_!" Cyborg shouted in triumph.

"Thrilling." Raven said unenthusiastically.

"I know, isn't it!?" Cyborg said giddily.

"Did you find out where he _is_?" Raven asked. Cyborg stopped dancing and his happy face drooped. "You forgot didn't you?" she asked.

"Uh...yes?"

Raven groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Well, it was fun while my happiness lasted." Cyborg sighed. He sat back down at the console and started typing again.

"I'm gonna go see if Starfire and Beast Boy wanna help me look for them. I don't think they've gone far." Raven turned and headed out the door. She was sure that Cyborg hadn't heard her but later if he said _you never told me that_ she could at least tell the truth and say she did say it.

* * *

"They're fake!?!" Weasel shouted.

"What now?" Bob asked. Now he was eating an ice-cream.

"The plans are dated circa 1998!" Weasel pointed at his screen. "Why would he even have these lying around!?!?!"

"Ice-cream?" Bob handed him a cone.

Weasel sighed. "Yes please."

"Now what?"

"Well, I could probably send Wade another message and tell him to just break out."

"How would he?" Bob asked.

"Uh...we can give him play-doh, my other shoelace, and some matches at night." Weasel suggested.

"How?"

Weasel sat silently and he stared his screen for a few moments, "I don't know!" Weasel finally admitted.

"Hmm..." Bob stroked his chin. "What about the Penetraitor equipment?"

Weasel's eyes widened. "Bob! You're a genius!!"

Bob smiled and continued eating his ice-cream.

Weasel whispered as there were ears everywhere. "If you run around in front of the jail and start shooting up at the air, I can teleport in and teleport Deadpool out!"

"Sh-Shoot? In front of the jail full of police with their own guns and the possibility of the Teen Titans coming to pummel me to bits?! Why don't you just teleport in?!"

"Because they'll see me! Besides, it'll only be for a few minutes. You don't need to do much anyway. Just point, shoot, and run." Weasel said.

"But-" Bob protested. He now regretted reminding Weasel of the Penetraitor armor in his backpack.

"Come on, just really quick. We can do it right now and be home in time for _30 Rock_."

"Well...I _do _love my Tina Fey..." Bob said.

"So? What do you say?" Weasel asked.

"I say you're turning into Mr. Wilson." Bob said.

"So that's a yes." Weasel inferred.

"Yeah." Bob sighed and shrugged. There was nothing better to do anyway.

* * *

Jackson sank down in his seat carrying his fast-food. The day was halfway done. It had been a very busy morning, what with having to go on patrol and catching Deadpool with Dixon. The amateur. He was straight out of the academy with highest honors. Not that honor really helped in a city full of super villains everywhere. But the kid wasn't dumb; Jackson knew that he'd soon figure out that the only way to survive in a place like this is-

Jackson almost choked on his burger. Deadpool was being lead to his cell. His manic mouth was running a mile minute as he walked, even fifty feet away he could hear the idiot babbling on about why he wasn't allowed at Burger King.

Jackson growled and took out his phone. He dialed a number only very few cops in the precinct knew about. He didn't have to wait long for the person to pick up.

"_Yes?_" the person on the other line asked. His voice was deep and calm. It gave Jackson the chills.

"Deadpool's been lead to his cell. No weapons, no one else in with him, and no one's watching him." Jackson reported.

"_Good_." The voice replied, "_And do give Olivia my best wishes for a happy recovery_." The person added.

Jackson tried not to gulp but he failed. He sensed that the person was smiling on the other line...smiling in triumph.

The line went dead.

Jackson let out a long sigh. The guilt swept over him as it did whenever he gave the call. He looked at Olivia's picture and reminded himself why he was doing it. Besides, she was getting better, it was almost over. He had to keep hoping. If she could get through it so could he.

He sighed and looked back at his intact lunch.

Suddenly he wasn't so hungry anymore.

* * *

'_Point and shoot_. _Point and shoot_. _Point and shoot_.' Bob said to himself. It was dusk and the sun was almost gone, the best time to run and hide. Already he could hear the screams of people. He could only hope that the police were noticing it.

"You there!" Bob sighed in semi-relief. His job was half over; a police officer had shouted at him. "Drop the gun now!"

'_Point and shoot_. _Point and shoot_. _Point and shoot_.' Bob continued shooting upwards into the sky.

"He said drop it!!" another cop came out, then more and more. Each had their own guns trained on him.

"Damn it Weasel, hurry!!" he said to himself.

* * *

"Deadpool you magnificent bastard." Deadpool said to himself as he looked at his mask's reflection in a shard of glass. He heard gunshots outside and he wasn't the only one who had heard. The officers at their desks stood up and put a hand on their guns. Most of them headed outside. Those who had had an eye on him from afar suddenly forgot.

Deadpool's eyes widened and he looked out his small barred window to the billboard. Nothing but an ad. He could hear the officers try and tell the assailant to drop the gun. All that came out were whimpers..._Bob's_ whimpers. Wade's eyes widened.

"Come on Deadpool. It's time to leave." Weasel- er, Penetraitor whispered. There was still a bit of mist from his teleportation into the cell.

"Mah heerow!" Deadpool said jumping into Weasel's arms with a southern accent.

"Wade, no!" he said letting Deadpool fall on his butt.

"Eh, just kiddin' ya, Traitor." Deadpool slapped a hand on Weasel back and the Penetraitor teleported away before any officers knew.

* * *

Deadpool coughed relentlessly. "You know-_huh huh_-you really ought to-_huh huh_-fix that problem of yours, what with the mist-_huh_! Son of a-_huh huh_!" He said while waving away the already dissipating mist.

"Here." Weasel handed over Deadpool's possessions. "I went into the evidence locker before I got to you."

"Tommy and Timmy Katana!" Deadpool cried when he saw his twin katanas.

"Come on, we gotta tell Bob to run." Weasel said grabbing his backpack from behind a dumpster and taking out his laptop.

"What're you doing? You gonna email him to run?" Deadpool asked.

"No, just calling for some transportation." Weasel said slyly.

"Okay. I'll go call him." Deadpool said and he strolled over to where the alley's shadows were about to end. It was close to nighttime so it was hard for a normal person to discern the shadows but after years of merc work he could discern them at any time of day.

He cleared his throat. "_BOB!!!!!!_ MAKE LIKE A BANANA AND **RUN**!!!!!!"

* * *

Bob's head jerked back and he ran to the sound of the voice.

"Mr. Wilson!" he screamed when he saw Deadpool's figure holding up his hand for a high-five.

"No low security prison can hold the likes of me for more than a day!" he shouted and they fived.

"Our ride's here." Weasel pointed over to the motorcycle revving in the shadows.

"The Dead-cycle!?" Deadpool asked.

"Actually it's the R-cycle; we stole it from the Titan's garage." Weasel explained and put away his laptop.

"I didn't know they had a garage. But more importantly, this reminds me of something." Deadpool said pointing upwards to the sky.

"Uh guys-?" Bob spoke up, he was ignored.

"I have to go see what drugs Petey's on so I can understand why he tried to kill me!" Deadpool said trying to sound righteous.

"Well, you _did_ kidnap him, drug him, chase him, fight him, tie him up, drug him some more, torture him by making him listen to Barbara Streisand, and talk non-stop throughout his whole ordeal. If I didn't know you so well, I'd do that too." Weasel said.

"Guys-?" Bob spoke up only to be ignored once more.

"No, I'm serious, there's something weird goin' on with Pete. The way he acted wasn't..._natural_." Deadpool responded.

"You've only known him for a few hours!" Weasel protested.

"Guys-?"

"It was half a day! I think I know enough about him to be able to make assumptions." Deadpool said.

"YOU GUYS!!! THE COPS ARE RIGHT BEHIND US!!!" Bob shouted.

Deadpool and Weasel- er, Penetraitor stopped talking and looked over to see the city's police force holding their guns up at them.

"Uh...how much did you guys hear?" Deadpool asked.

"Enough to know that you kidnapped, drugged, tied up, and basically held Robin captive for a day and a half." Robertson walked up, in one had was his own gun trained on them, in the other was a tape recorder. "Along with torturing him with Barbara Streisand's voice. In this city, that's a federal offense!" Robertson shuddered.

"Not to mention stealing his ride." Dixon said pointing behind them at the bright red motorcycle.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that." Deadpool smiled under his mask. He grabbed a bomb and threw it the police officers. Unfortunately for Wade, none of them retreated. The bomb opened and a red flag reading '_BOOM_. _Suck on it_.' was carried upwards by the wind.

Robertson groaned and shot blindly, the bullets went through the flag and he hoped they hit Deadpool or one of his accomplices.

Wade turned around when he heard the bullets. "_Duck duck goose_!" he shouted at Bob and Weasel. He brought out Tommy and Timmy and sliced the bullets in half. Deadpool's eyes widened.

"I can do that now? I'm fucking awesome! So long as my mouth doesn't get sewn shut and I can't talk anymore, then that'd suck...MASSIVELY!" he shuddered, "...no... not Barakapool!"

"WADE SHUT UP AND GET ON THE BIKE!!!" Weasel shouted as he and Bob got on the cycle.

"Gee, PMSing much?" Deadpool rolled his eyes. He put away his swords just as the police trained their guns on all three assailants. Before they could pull the trigger though, there was a clatter on the ground. A round disc fell into the dim shadows of the alley and everyone strained to see what it was.

Almost immediately a bright flash of white blinded everyone. Deadpool groaned and ran backwards to the bike where Weasel had managed to avert his gaze in time. He got on just as Weasel revved the bike and the three ran through the other end of the alley and left the police blinking there eyes to get rid of the stars.

"_Agh_..." Ramirez rubbed her eyes.

"What just happened?" Dixon staggered backward to the wall.

Robertson blinked and responded with rage filling his voice. "They got away!" He punched the wall as his vision came back in a blurry form. He looked over at his cops who were staring at him; his knuckles had become bloody with every punch. He ignored it and growled, "What are standing here lookin' at me for!? GO CATCH THEM!"

The officers shook their heads and complied.

"You okay Cap-?" Dixon was interrupted by Robertson growling at him.

"Go get out there Conner and find those three retards before I take your badge for incompetence!"

Dixon hesitated before he backed away, "Yes, sir."

Robertson growled again as he paced in the alleyway. What _was_ that thing that had blinded everyone? He knew for sure that Deadpool hadn't thrown it; he was putting away his swords. Neither of his accomplices did it, they were too busy getting on the bike. It seemed as though there was more to this mystery than what greeted the senses.

On the ledge of the building above a silent figure stood against the moon. He looked down on the poor police captain, pity and a smile decorated his face. Pity because the captain hadn't the skills to even keep Deadpool locked up for more than a few hours, and a smile because _he_ would be the one to put down the crimson assassin.

* * *

* * *

**Any Last Thoughts?**

Okay, so that'll probably be the last time I make Wade spring out of my head.

**Deadpool: *springs up* NOOOOOOOO!!!!11!! .**

*bashes him back into Imaginationland* There's no real reason other than to add as many words as possible which has in fact worked, Chapter 13 is now officially the longest chapter to date! *silence* Eh fine, don't be excited!

So anyway, here's the goal everyone. Seeing as how I get an average of 4 reviews per chapter, I can honestly say that 100 reviews is actually not that long of a shot, especially when considering how long this story will be. (Trust me, this story is just starting) But seeing as how I'd like to cross milestones faster I'm gonna make our newest target 75 reviews!

You think you guys can handle that?

Well, I leave it to you guys to answer that. Right now, I shall get working on chapter 16. (That's right; I'm ahead in writing chapters when compared to posting, why? Because I like having reserves, if I can't come up with anything for one week I at least have three whole chapters that I can still post, therefore giving me more time to be creative and stuff and junk...and play UA2!!! ^_^)

See you all next week! Good afternoon, all!

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac

_**Fire

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**_


	14. Confused Yet?

* * *

**Forethoughts:**

I'm back everyone! And I come bearing baggage! *clears her throat to start her rant*

Ugh, you know, life's just setting me up to fail. First I flunk 6th because I'm absent all the time (not entirely my fault, I was having family problems, that's all I'll say on the subject) and now they're taking me out of Geometry because apparently I got basic in the state testing when they wanted me to get Proficient and Advanced, like all the other times I took it. Wanna know the stupidest part? Yeah, I was _passing_ Geo and it was only getting easier!!! Now I have Algebra 1 _again_ and the class has only three other kids besides me who were also passing Geo...AND I didn't even score that low in the state tests! Dammit, I was 5 points away from Proficient!! WTF!? I am _so _lucky I'm not majoring in Mathematics during college...English and Art all the way, baby.

*grumbles* Stupid American school systems...always screwing over the very same students they want to succeed...stupid..._ehhhh_... *pouts and leaves*

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac

**_Fire_**

...

...

...

**Deadpool: *strolls in* And you said you wouldn't let me out of Imaginationland-!!! ^_^ *looks around* o.O Wait, is she gone?**

**Weasel: Yeah, otherwise there would've been an intro to the next chapter.**

**Bob: Well, what do we do?**

**Deadpool: The same thing we do every night Bob-**

**Weasel: Veg out in front of the TV?**

**Deadpool: No. . The other thing.**

**Bob: Take over the world?**

**Deadpool: Haha! _Pinky and the Brain_ reference! But no. We are going to...!!! *plays the trumpet* Introduce the next chapter!! =D *claps ferociously***

**Bob: We don't do that every night.**

**Deadpool: '-_- Shut up and lemme do my job. *clears throat* In the last chapter Bob and Wease sprung me from jail. Other stuff happened that I don't believe is really relevant to the story. Blah blah blah, we got away but like the friggin' Predator is after us or something. The continuation of that chase however, will be concluded in the chapter _after_ this one! I know right? But apparently Honors English is tough so that's why she left. Like _I _didn't have to find quotes to dissect from books I didn't read!! She's a whiny one, that Fire...don't trust her or she'll put you in her fanfic... *puffs out smoke from his invisible cigar* That's not somethin' ya want...I suggest you run...run _far away_...run to Mexico, that's God's blindspot! *gets electrocuted* Holy lightning, Batman! My invisible cigar is gone!!! Now how will I compete with Wolverine to get my own solo movie!?!? HOW!? *falls to his knees and cries to the heavens*

* * *

**

**

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**

**Disclaimer:**

**Deadpool: *is apparently fine from having massively wept three seconds ago* Still me and my buddies Wease and Bob. And now, for the Disclaimer portion of the chapter!!! *unveils the red curtain revealing Bob and Weasel standing around***

**Weasel: *clears his throat and reads the teleprompter* Red Fire Divine does not own Deadpool, any character associated with him, ie Bob and I, or any of the Teen Titans and any characters associated with _them_.**

**Bob: *does the same* *rigidly* I only- uh, I mean, _Red Fire Divine_ only has seven bucks, maybe seven-twenty if she looks around her room for lost pennies, but the last time she checked, the price tag for all of the characters was _not_ seven dollars...it was ten. Cries. *pauses for a moment* *eyes widen* OHH! Uh... *tries to cry***

**Deadpool: *pats Bob on the back* There there Bob, we know you tried your best but you can't hide the fact that you just can't act.**

**Bob: *sniffs* I know...**

**Deadpool: Okay. One other disclaimer for you Deadheads out there. For some odd reason that Fire blames on the flu she has contracted, boy, she just _loves_ to blame others for her problems don't she? Oh right, uh, she has gotten it into her head to write yet another chapter that does not have gratuitous and almost fatal amounts of me and my awesomeness. Although I _do _technically appear in this chapter, more so than I did in chapter 10 *under his breath* _bitch_ *normal voice* it is not anything...well, _new_. So just bear with her because next chapter is just...it's just so great...it...I liked filming it-**

**Weasel: Filming-?**

**Deadpool: Shut up. It was just...I really like the next chapter...because it has a lot of me... *smiles under his mask***

**Bob: I liked the last chapter best, I got to eat a bunch of junk food!**

**Weasel: Oh yeah, that was cool!**

**Deadpool: Yeah, it was alright except she got one thing wrong; it's _me_ who rescues _you guys_, not vice versa...I shall never forgive her for that...and for chapter 10!!! *shakes fist in the air*

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Business Endeavors

* * *

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**Chapter 14: Confused Yet?

* * *

**

Technology was such a wonderful thing. It gave him everything he wanted. Well, almost everything, but that tidbit could be dealt with later. Right now, it was five minutes past five. It was time to start on dinner.

* * *

Robin would only snore when he was tired. When he was _really_ tired he would snore _and_ he would fall off of his bed and cover his self in a cocoon of sheets for warmth. He used to do that all the time when he was little, especially when he was just starting out as Robin. And right now, he was doing exactly that.

His eyes slowly opened and he savored the tranquil peace in between waking up and remembering, or at times _wondering_, where he was. He shut his eyes tightly and groaned when he remembered he was on the floor of his new room, snoozing away the time between when he was needed last when he would be needed again.

He spent a few more minutes lying on the floor, appreciating downtime in a more comfortable room than his last. He wanted to go back to sleep but alas, he was fully reenergized and reinvigorated to prowl about the night anew.

Damn.

He groaned loudly as he pushed himself up off the ground to his knees. While on his knees he finally noticed that he had completely stripped the bed of whatever was on it. He slowly blinked and yawned as he got up to his feet to make his bed. He silently protested having to do such a menial task but since he never knew when Slade was watching he kept quiet.

Admittedly, he did a half-assed job on one of the simplest things he had to do but he didn't care much, his stomach was starting to rumble and at the moment _that's_ what really mattered to him.

He threw the last pillow on the bed and swung open his door to see dinner was ready yet; he was starving. That brownie did _not_ hold him over very well.

* * *

"Guys!" Cyborg shouted to them because he couldn't use the com system, Weasel had disabled them and he still had yet to correct the problem. "GUYS!!" he shouted again. He hated doing that like a caveman.

"What is it?" Beast Boy ran up.

"Ugh." Cyborg said.

"_Hey!_" Beast Boy said, taking offense to Cyborg's reaction.

"Not you BB, the fact that the stupid com system's busted. I swear I'm gonna kill Weasel." Cyborg said crossing his arms.

"You ran out of Weasel pillows, huh?" Beast Boy asked and peeked into the room.

"What has happened, Cyborg?" Starfire floated in next to Raven.

"Good, you're all here. Now as you know Bob and _Weasel_," he said Weasel's name with venom infiltrating his voice, "escaped from contain-"

"Just get on with it." Raven said.

Cyborg drooped his eyes, "Well I was gonna give you guys the news gently but if you insist-!"

"Do what the lady said; hurry up!" Beast Boy said.

"Fine! They busted out Deadpool, ya happy?!" he screamed.

"WHAT?!" the three screamed in unison.

"I said I was gonna put it gently but no-!"

"Where'd they go!?" Beast Boy shouted.

"According to Dixon they went south on Echo Road." Cyborg said heading down to the garage.

Beast Boy groaned, "Stupid Deadpool and his _minons–er friends!!! Ugh_..." he mimicked Deadpool and followed him.

The girls groaned as well and went up to the roof and took off flying to where they were told they had gone.

* * *

Robin wondered if cooking classes were a requirement in _Evil Mastermind niversity_ or something. Only someone who had trained extensively in the culinary arts could have produced a meal like the one Slade had.

_Or_ he ordered the meal to go. Whatever the reason, the fact of the matter was that he was full and there was still about half a steak left on his plate.

Robin flicked his finger on the glass of water to the side of his plate. The relatively weak force made ripples in the water and would alter his appearance for the weirder when he did. He waited for his food to go down or something to happen so that for once he could take what Slade dished out. Literally _and_ figuratively.

Unfortunately, his body was still not used to the consumption of so much food in a single meal. He remembered that back in the tower he rarely, if ever, had a complete meal. He was always so busy with paperwork, always making up battle routines, always worrying for other's safety, always training for battles that may have never come. He was just always..._on_.

He sighed in relaxation. He couldn't even remember the last time he had slept in the middle of the afternoon like he had today. It was true; the grass _was_ greener on the other side. He couldn't fathom why he had resisted joining Slade's side the first time. Of course this new change in direction didn't get rid of _all_ his worries, it got rid of most. He didn't have to work to keep others safe, just himself. And he could take care of himself just fine. Slade knew that.

It was far more effortless to be evil than it had been to be good. The latter was more of an uphill battle that would've eventually been forced down by gravity, also known as human nature. It's nature to kill, to have territory, to fight, to want control, to conquer; why had he been fighting against nature all those years?

He looked back at his half full plate. He almost turned green.

He pushed away the plate and looked around for Slade. He had taken a call not too long ago, where was he?

Robin got up from his seat and walked around to the hallway entrance, where Slade had gone with his phone.

"_Good_." Slade replied.

Robin figured that he must have gotten the tail end of the conversation.

"_And do give Olivia my best wishes for a happy recovery_." he added before hanging up.

Robin jerked his head back into the dining room before Slade looked over at his direction. He slinked back into his seat and started cutting off another piece of the steak that he would surely not be able to digest.

"Eavesdropping?" Slade asked as he walked back into the dining room. Robin's eyes widened and he slowed and weakened the force he was using on cutting the steak. He could feel Slade's eye (he had put on an eye patch by the time Robin went downstairs for dinner) fixed on him as he waited for a reply.

"Uh..." Robin stopped cutting completely and he looked back up at Slade. "...I only heard the end." He admitted.

Slade kept quiet and he set the phone down on the table, his gaze had left the boy and now went on his plate. "You're full already, aren't you?"

Robin sat quietly, his silence serving as his answer.

"Good. I had a mission for you either way." He said while stepping out of the room. Robin pushed his seat and he quickened his usual pace to keep up.

"It seems a certain..._idiot_ got himself caught." Slade said, he walked over to the map of the world once more.

"He blabbed?" Robin asked while stepping onto the metallic floor of the elevator.

"Not yet but we can't take the risk. He's unarmed so that should make for an easier target." Slade made his way to his usual spot, in front of all the monitors. "However, I would still think that a full on assault would be foolish. Just try and sniper him off if you can."

"Like Lee Harvey Oswald?" Robin asked. Slade chuckled at his attempt at an analogy.

"Sure." he responded.

"Another of history's mistakes, I see." Robin said while retracting to the shadows to change into his suit.

"Let's just say, there's no such thing as magic bullets...unless _I'm_ the one shooting." Slade replied.

Robin's masked eyes widened at his remark.

* * *

Stupid townhouse.

It felt like he had left the _base _forever ago and Robin _still_ wasn't anywhere near county. Of course he didn't verbally express his distaste for the location of the base; he always kept his opinions to himself when he was around Slade. Though he still spoke around his teacher, it was almost always brief and it usually had something to do with his mission.

He honestly couldn't remember the last time he had cracked a joke.

"_Why are you slowing down?_" Slade asked through the com system.

"I'm slowing down?" Robin asked in disbelief. "How're you measuring my speed-?"

"_Are you really asking that?_"

"Touché."

"_You haven't answered my first question though, why are you slowing down?_" Slade's voice began showing signs of irritation.

Robin sped up, "I was just thinking." He shrugged.

"_About what?_"

"Uh..."

Before he could answer though, the sound of gunshots broke the air.

"What the-?" Robin asked himself quietly. He jumped over to the next rooftop and snuck his way to ledge. He was in front of county and there was someone walking in the street pointing a gun in the air. The figure looked slightly familiar...

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

"_You there!_" an officer shouted and pointed his/her own gun at the crazed figure in the middle of the street. "_Drop the gun now!_"

Instead of answering the figure shot up at the air again. That was odd.

"Usually, a homicidal maniac would've tried to _kill_ someone. You know; _homicide?_" Robin said as he inspected the scene a bit closer.

"_Does the maniac look familiar to you at all?_" Slade asked. He had yet to hack into a satellite and get the feed he wanted.

"If _you're_ drawing a blank I probably will too." Robin squinted his eyes but it was too far down to look without any help. He brought out a small set of binoculars and fixed them to see the figure down below. "Holy crap."

"_Oh no_." Slade said over the line. He had just gotten live feed.

"_Bob_." They both said at the same time.

"_If he's there_..."

"...Weasel and Deadpool aren't too far away either." Robin finished. He fixed his binoculars at the cells with windows. "Which floor is he on?"

"_Fourth_."

"He's not there."

"_They must have broken him_ _out_."

"That explains why I just found him talking to Weasel dressed up as Robocop in an alley two buildings away from county." Robin reported.

There was silence on the other end, though Robin could've _sworn_ he heard Slade groan in annoyance.

"What? I _did_." Robin shrugged and protested.

"_Just kill him already_."

"With gusto." Robin put away his binoculars and made his way to the rooftop over looking where Deadpool, Weasel, and Bob had run to.

* * *

"Hey what the-!?!" Robin covered his mouth with his hand as he saw his motorcycle rev up to Weasel after he had typed something in his computer. "That bastard!" he said quietly.

"_Quiet now, Robin_._ You don't want them hearing you, do you?_" Slade said over the line. Robin shut his mouth as best he could though, he couldn't help but let a growl out every once in a while.

"_That's __**my**__ cycle-!_" Robin grumbled.

"_Robin_."

"_They didn't even fill the tank-!_"

"_Robin!_" Slade snapped.

Robin quieted down and pouted, but it didn't stop him from growling again when he saw Weasel and Bob hop onto his bike as the police cornered them.

The sound of bullets being released from the muzzle resounded. Almost miraculously, or maybe not, Deadpool sliced the bullets in half before they could hit anyone. Robin couldn't help but feel respect for the idiot, if not contempt for tying him up and torturing him with Barbra Streisand.

"WADE SHUT UP AND GET ON THE BIKE!!!" Weasel shouted as he and Bob got on the cycle.

"Gee, PMSing much?" Deadpool rolled his eyes. He put away his swords just as the police trained their guns on all three assailants. Before they could pull the trigger though, Robin threw a flash disc on the floor of the alley.

"_Those retards are __**my **__kill_." He said quietly, forgetting once again that Slade could hear all that he said. Slade cracked a smile when he heard the coldness in his apprentice's voice.

Robin closed his eyes.

Almost immediately a bright flash of white blinded everyone. Deadpool groaned and ran backwards to the bike where Weasel had managed to avert his gaze just in time He got on just as Weasel revved the bike and the three ran through the other end of the alley and left the police blinking there eyes to get rid of the stars.

Robin let them ride off for a bit, the tank was almost out of gas anyway; it wouldn't take long for him to track them.

He stood on he ledge of the building as a silent figure and looked down on the poor police captain, pity and a smile decorated his face. Pity because the captain hadn't the skills to even keep Deadpool locked up for more than a few hours, and a smile because _he_ would be the one to put down the crimson assassin.

* * *

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**Any Last-?**

* * *

**The DeadCorner

* * *

**

**Deadpool: Seeing as how she's not here, this'll be a great chance to debut the Dead Corner's new studio...that you readers can't see! It looks a lot like the set on the Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien.**

**Weasel: In reality we're just sitting on wooden stools.**

**Bob: At the very least it's fixing my posture.**

**Deadpool: Oh, you just _had_ to go and ruin the magic didn't ya? Eh... *turns back to the viewers- er, readers* Anyway, our first guest tonight is-**

**Weasel: We actually have a guest?**

**Deadpool: Yes, it's _friggin_'Peter Pan.**

**Peter Pan: *appears out of nowhere* Hello-**

**Robin: *knocks him out with his bō staff* _I'm _the only one allowed to wear green tights and get away with it!**

**Bob: What about me?**

**Weasel: And Iron Fist?**

**Robin: *leers at them and whacks them both with his staff***

**Bob: *rubs his head while Weasel is knocked out* Ow... *falls over unconscious***

**Deadpool: I'm detecting some unresolved anger issues. *brings out glasses and a small notepad* **

**Robin: Why did I agree to do this again?**

**Deadpool: *jots down notes* Now, how does that make you feel?**

**Robin: *sarcastically* It makes me feel...uh, _feelings_? o.O**

**Deadpool: Uh-huh, and to resolve feeling these feelings you hurt people?**

**Robin: No, seriously. *looks around* Why am I here? O.o **

**Deadpool: Look kid, I feel feelings too, not any _girly_ feelings like you might-**

**Robin: *leers at him* **

**Deadpool: -but you know, manly feelings, like feeling _awesome_, it's something I haven't yet resolved but I try to every day by killing people...you should try that to.**

**Robin: You know what? You're right! I'll try to kill you in the next chapter!**

**Deadpool: That's right, and that's the first step towards- wait, _WHAT_?!?!! *stands up offended* How dare you spoil the next chapter?!?! *still in an unbearable rage* . UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE THAT THIS IS THE END OF THE CHAPTER!!! *turns to the readers* I'M SORRY EVERYONE-!!!! *calms down and clears his throat* I'm sorry everyone, but we're out of time. Swing by next week when the chase is on between me and Petey.**

**Robin: *leers at him***

**Peter Pan: *appears out of nowhere again* Did some call my na-?**

**Deadpool: *grabs Robin's staff and knocks out Peter Pan* _Goddamn_, he's annoying!**

**Robin: Mmm-hmm.**

**Deadpool: Good-bye everyone. *waves***

**Robin: *does the same***

***The Dead Corner theme plays over rolling credits*

* * *

**


	15. What's Black And Red And Crazy All Over?

**

* * *

Forethoughts:**

Okay, go ahead, crucify me for going AWOL before I even finished the Forethoughts of last chapter but come on!! Algebra 1 _again_!?!??!?! *smashes nearby boxes*

**Deadpool: *inside the box* Hey! Some of us are waiting for you to ship us out to China like you said after you found out we did the DeadCorner again and spoiled somethin' for this chapter!!**

Oh yeah, forgot that, I take back the whole sending my imagination to China. 1) Because some people actually *sighs* _liked_ you guys being so stupid and thought it was funny not just annoying...and 2) because then how would I be able to write the next chapters that need _so much_ imagination to go hand in hand with psuedo-science half of my brain!!

**Deadpool: *pops out of the box like a stripper out of cake- bikini and all* YAY! We're staying!**

*averts her gaze* Son of a-!! Why're you in a bikini!!?!?!?

**Deadpool: Do you realize how hot it gets to travel to by box?!**

You're imaginary! You shouldn't be able to feel temperatures!!!

**Deadpool: Exactly my point!**

...remind me to never talk about this again.

**Deadpool: Duly noted.**

Anywho. In the last chapter, well, yeah, it was another Robin heavy chapter. Get ready for more Robin in the next few chapters by the way, but don't worry, it won't be entirely him, it'll of course have your weekly amount of Vitamin Deadpool-

**Deadpool: HEY! YOU STOLE MY JOKE!! AND WORSE YET, YOU'VE RECYCLED IT!!!  
**

That's what comedians do.

**Deadpool: GIRLS CAN'T BE COMEDIANS BECAUSE CHICKS AREN'T FUNNY! YOU EVER SEE SARAH SILVERMAN!?! SHE'S ALRIGHT BUT SHE TALKS ABOUT SEX TOO MUCH AND NOT ENOUGH ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE ACTUALLY FUNNY!!!**

She's not _that_ bad-

**Deadpool: RECYCLING JOKES IS STILL A SIN YOU'RE NOT CLEAR OF!!!**

Ugh... *pops a few migraine pills*

**Deadpool: *gasps* And now you're popping pills?!?!?! You're not the Red Fire Divine I was once written by!!! *runs away***

*holds up the bottle* It's Tylenol! Eh screw it... *puts the bottle back in her pocket* ...but seriously, I've got this cold that's not going away...wait, didn't this happen to me during summer? Eh, whatever. So anyway. There'll be more Robin in the coming chapters but it'll also have a lot of Deadpool, don't worry 'bout that. If anyone's screen time is going to get cut its...no one's, I'll just end up making longer chapters. That's my other warning. You'd better start like setting aside time to read my coming chapters, they're gettin' longer and I'm not cuttin' 'em down for no one!! The plot would be crappy (more so) if I did!

So, here's your next chapter of Business Endeavors; 'Chapter 15: What's Black And Red And Crazy All Over?'

-_**Fire

* * *

**_

_**

* * *

**_

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own Deadpool or the Teen Titans. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. No way. No how. I don't own 'em.

But I sure would like to.

And I also don't own 'It's Not That Easy Being Green,' if I did, well...let's just say St. Patrick's Day wouldn't be the _only_ day everyone would wear green... *rubs palms together* MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *stops* You're still here?! For what- oh right. *clears throat* One other thing.

The ending may or may not piss off all of you...especially Deadheads. But remember this Deadheads; he's Deadpool, you really think he'll stay down for long? Ha! Not a snowball's chance in Hell! (Otherwise known as Southern California. It's HOT! And it's Fall! What is wrong with that sentence?!?!)

The question is, however, how _long_ will I have him stay down...?

Uh...please put the torches, pitchforks, and katanas away...they're uh...making me think you don' trust me with Dead-

**Deadpool: *points his sword to me* ATTACK! SHE HAS STOLEN A JOKE!!! **

Ohhhhh, it's just an army of comedians!!! ^_^ Oh ok- O.O ...oh god. *runs away with the mob telling bad jokes at her*

* * *

**Business Endeavors**

* * *

**Chapter 15: What's Black And Red And Crazy All Over?

* * *

**

"_It's not that easy being green_..._or in this case black and red_..." Deadpool held the same note for as long as his lungs had air. He exhaled deeply and started breathing correctly again. He was singing out of boredom as he siphoned gas out of a few parked cars. Obviously they couldn't have just strolled into a gas station and bought some (not that he would've done that anyway) so they were forced to steal gas...like they normally did.

He started tapping his foot just as the sound of the flowing gasoline began to sputter.

"Stupid eco-friendly cars! They _never_ have enough gas..." he said while twisting the cap tightly. He stood there pouting at the car for a minute before kicking the tires a few times. He started walking back into the alley where Weasel had parked the car (the term being used loosely) but quickly ran back to the car and kicked the license plate off.

He again stood in silence and stared at the car.

"I...I'm really just wondering why I didn't just steal this car, or _any _car here in the parking lot in the first place!" Deadpool said to no one in particular. He sighed in defeat. "For the sake of the story, right...I can't wait 'till this is over..."

Deadpool lurched his way over to where the motorcycle had copped out in an alley.

* * *

"Why'd the bike have to cop out _ten_ minutes after the break out?" Bob groaned.

"How was I supposed to know that Pete- I mean, _Robin_ didn't fill up the gas tank before we kidnapped him? Damn, the nickname's sticking." Weasel shook his head just in case he had said it because of lack of sleep.

"I'm back! And I come bearing liquid black gold which is technically oxymoronic as gold is a color so calling it- eh screw it, no one actually reads this." He said while kicking a can out of the way, "I'm _done_!" he called out.

"Hurry up, the cops might show up any minute." Weasel hurriedly unscrewed the cap to the cycle's tank.

"I'm goin', I'm goin'. No need to get your Yoda undies in a bunch." Deadpool poured the gas in the tank. While he held up the bottle he fiddled around in his pockets to look for something.

"What?" Bob asked.

"I...I'm trying to find this thing..." Deadpool said while moving his hand around wherever there was a pocket. Bob and Weasel averted their gaze for a moment when his hand reached an unwanted place.

"Almost...got it!" he shouted and pulled up a small device from his left thigh's inner eighth pocket three inches lower than the other eighth pocket that's technically his fifth pocket if it weren't for those extra five zippers that- eh, screw it.

"What is it?" Bob asked as he inspected the little device, it looked like a graphic organizer but with the Deadpool coloring motif.

"It's a tracking device displayer. For when we go looking for Pete." He said as he threw away the now empty gasoline bottle.

"Tracking device displayer? When did you get a tracking device on him-?" Weasel was shushed by Deadpool who gave him an uncharacteristically serious look. Deadpool's hand slowly gestured upward.

"_The roof?_" Bob whispered. Deadpool shook his head.

"_We're dead_..._I told you not to play Barbara Streisand so many times! He's gonna kill us, you know!_" Weasel said nervously.

Deadpool shushed them and he jumped up onto a fire escape ladder. He climbed up and jumped up onto the roof.

It was barren.

Not even a water tower decorated the roof of the building.

"What the-?" Deadpool was cut off when he was knocked off his feet by the sweeping motion of a bō staff. "Hey! I thought Gambit was _afraid_ of me!" Deadpool shouted when his head slammed on the gravel.

"Does it look like I'm Gambit?" Robin responded coldly without even knowing the answer himself.

"No, you're right. He's _way_ dreamier." Deadpool commented. He grabbed the staff and yanked it from the boy's grip.

"Oh no you don't!" Robin shouted. He pulled the staff back with all his might.

"Okay, I won't!" Deadpool let go of the staff and Robin fell over due to his own strength. He let out a low growl while on the floor.

"I didn't know robins were part of the canine species." Deadpool said. He brought out his gun but he didn't care to point it at him. "Look Pete-"

He was cut off again by Robin lunging at him. The force made Deadpool trip over the ledge and the two went tumbling down to the alley below. Robin quickly caught a hold of the fire escape and Deadpool quickly caught hold of Robin.

Robin growled again and attempted to kick Deadpool off.

"Hey! Below the belt is not allowed _anywhere_ in the world, mister _Missy-sissy-pants_-_jerk-guy-thing-other-insulting-stuff-for-a-man's-ego_!" Deadpool shouted. Robin swung himself onto the fire escape with Deadpool literally at his feet. Robin stomped his steel toed boot on the mercenary's face.

"My nose! My beautiful and already scarred nose!" Deadpool shouted, his voice was a bit nasally due to, well, you know.

"Shut up!" Robin cried out, "At least _try_ to die with dignity!" he took a swing at Deadpool's skull.

"Impossible! I had no dignity to begin with!" Deadpool yelled back, he pushed the ex-Boy Wonder's foot off of his face and brought out his katanas. He jumped off the fire escape and landed on his feet with a thud. After the initial shock coursed through his body he backed up to the cycle where Bob and Weasel had been huddling for the past few minutes.

"Bob! Weasel! Get your collective asses out of here!" Deadpool barked.

"Done!" Weasel yelled and he jumped on the bike with Bob in tow.

"Hope you don't get decapitated!" Bob shouted as he jumped on the bike after Weasel.

"I hope so too!" Deadpool turned his head and shouted back.

"Good luck, Deadpool!" Weasel called out as he sped away on the bike.

Completely forgetting that there was still a furious teenager trying to kill him, Deadpool waved at the two as they sped off. However, reality came roaring back when one of his katanas was snatched away from his grip. "What the-?"

"Luck is for losers like you." Robin said coldly, he swung the razor thin blade and it sliced Deadpool's stomach. For a second Robin could see Deadpool's innards begin to spill out but almost at once the large incision had begun closing up.

"Children under the age of eighteen should not be allowed to use weapons as dangerous, cool, and awesome as these for this _exact_ reason!" Deadpool observed as the would-be fatal wound healed itself before he finished talking.

"_Whoa_..." Robin's masked eyes widened. He knew Deadpool had a healing factor on him, he'd just thought Slade had exaggerated so he would take more caution, but now that he saw it with his own eyes he realized that simply shooting him and giving him cement shoes was out of the picture; Deadpool would probably heal faster than the cement would dry.

Robin backed away when he remembered the second katana still in Deadpool's other hand. He ran before Deadpool thought of using it.

"Ah, pairs...a number utilized best by swords and boobs..." Deadpool thought aloud as he pursued Robin.

* * *

"Do you see Deadpool or anything pertaining to him?" Starfire asked. She was flying beside Raven.

"Nope." she replied.

"And you Cyborg and Beast Boy? Do you see anything-?"

"_Nothin' yet, Star_." Beast Boy said.

"_And like we repeated two minutes ago; we'll be sure to tell you if we do_." Cyborg added before Beast Boy turned off the walkie-talkie.

Cyborg only had one pair of the walkies so they had to split into two teams, and they were only able to be five hundred feet apart before the range went out and they couldn't communicate anymore.

"Maybe you should give the walkie-talkie a break. It might run out of D batteries." Raven slowly took the alternative communications device out of Starfire's grasp. However Starfire held on to the little plastic toy and pulled it in closer to her chest.

"But what if they find something? A trail or perhaps Robin himself? We must keep the communications device on!"

"Look Starfire, the chances of actually finding something in these kinds of circumstances are very low. I'm not trying to sound pessimistic or anything, but just try and think realistically." Raven tried to form the words as gently as possible but she couldn't help but feel that she had done it wrong already.

"But...what if-?" Starfire started, she sighed and shook her head in begrudging agreement; she handed over the walkie-talkie. "Perhaps you are right, Raven."

"Let's hope not." Raven cracked a small smile, a very rare occasion indeed, something that seemed to bring up Starfire's spirits and she reciprocated the smile, albeit bigger. Raven took the walkie in her hand and searched around for the _off_ button.

Her eyes widened and her breathing stopped abruptly.

"Raven?" Starfire asked slowly. Raven accidentally let the walkie slip from her hand as she zoomed forward and followed a screeching motorcycle.

"Starfire...that's...that's Robin's cycle!" Raven tried to make sense of what had just happened. It seemed as though logic was taking a detour for the day.

"Robin?" Starfire's eyes widened in glee and then in horror as she saw the walkie-talkie plummet to the cement. She gasped and shot forward like a rocket and touched the plastic frame with her fingertips. She forced herself to go faster and she finally caught it in a firm grasp just before she hit the ground. She sped back up and followed Raven who had taken off herself behind the cycle.

* * *

"Dude, this sucks." Beast Boy complained as he put away the walkie-talkie.

"Gee, ya think?" Cyborg remarked sarcastically.

"_Beast Boy, Cyborg-?_" Starfire asked with excitement in her voice.

"We haven't found anything yet, Starfi-" Cyborg said listlessly.

"_Yes, but Raven has spotted Robin's motorcycle! We are following it as I speak!_" she reported gleefully.

"Say what?" Beast Boy shouted. There was a quick discussion between Raven and Starfire that Cyborg and Beast Boy couldn't discern as the walkie switched hands.

"Uh, is that you, Raven?" Beast Boy asked.

"_Yeah, it's me_. _I think I may have found Bob and Weasel_." She said.

"Weasel, that stupid son of a- where are you?" Cyborg asked urgently.

"_They haven't stopped yet but I think I know where they're headed_." Raven said.

"Where?" Beast Boy asked as no one else would.

"_The woods_."

"Quick Cy! Put the metal to the pedal to the other metal!" Beast Boy shouted.

"Done." The T-car screeched as it turned 180 degrees to the right direction.

* * *

"Okay, how do you kill someone who can probably heal from pretty much anything?" Robin asked Slade quietly, careful not to alert the bright red mercenary of his presence. Robin had jumped up on the rooftop next to him and he was slowly pacing back and forth as he waited for his answer.

The other line was silent; Slade really had to contemplate about this. He stroked his chin. Strikes from a bō staff seemed to have little to no effect on the mercenary's behavior.

"Uh, Slade?" Robin whispered into the com system as he peeked out onto the ground below. Deadpool was slowly checking around the shadow filled alley until his gaze came upon an open window; in it a woman was taking a shower.

"_Ooh, a show._" Robin heard Deadpool whisper to himself. Robin shrugged, at least that would keep the merc's senses busy.

He ducked down and leaned against the building's ledge, "_Slaaaaade?_ You still on earth?" Robin whispered again.

Slade adjusted himself in his seat. Stabs didn't seem to faze Deadpool, nor did breaking his jaw. Bullets didn't bounce off of him but the holes were healed relatively quickly.

"Slade?" Robin asked once more but this time with a bit of nervousness creeping in. If _Slade_ couldn't think of anything he was must have been _really_ fu-

Finally, what would usually be a fatal action, puncturing the heart and/or jugular vein seemed to have as little effect on Deadpool as the bō staff.

"Slade!?"

"_Decapitation_." Slade finally responded.

"Are you sure?" Robin asked.

"_It's the only route that hasn't been taken yet_. _I doubt even __**his**__ healing factor would be fast enough to heal in the process of being beheaded or be able to regrow a head without sending out neurons_." Slade mused.

"So...?" Robin motioned his hand so that Slade would continue. It was then that Robin realized that expressing with his hands was more of a force of habit than it was to actually convey a message over.

"_Do it_." Slade ordered.

"Yes, master." Robin shook his head and gripped the katana tighter. He crept over until he felt he would be able to take the mercenary by surprise.

Deadpool was still distracted by the scene before him. "_Sure hope this doesn't turn out like last time_." Deadpool whispered to himself and shuddered at the thought. "How the hell was I supposed to know it was an effeminate male!?"

Ignoring Deadpool's statement, Robin silently readied himself to jump off. He slowed his breathing and calmed his senses.

Robin inhaled and took a running start. He lifted the katana above his head and leaped of the building's edge, aiming straight for Deadpool.

"Hey look! A penny!" Deadpool said to himself and he bent down to pick it up. Unbeknownst to him the penny had just saved him from getting beheaded as the Boy Wonder crashed through the window he had been looking through.

"What the-?" his head shot up at the sound of glass breaking and unearthly growling. He looked up and saw Robin, his teeth clenched and his grip firm around the katana. His face was riddled with bleeding scratches the window had given him. He leaped forward and sliced the katana without really caring what he'd hit so long as it hurt Deadpool.

Deadpool jumped out of the way but the katana still managed to slice his chest open for a few seconds. Ignoring the sting of the gash, he ran out of the alley and into the street, hoping that there was an unguarded car nearby that he could..._borrow_.

Robin chased after him, intent on finishing off the thorn in his side that just wouldn't shut up.

"Who's there?" the woman in the shower peeked out of the curtains. Her eyes widened when she saw broken glass on the floor and two dark figures escaping into the shadows. She screamed at the top of her lungs until her roommate came in with an annoyed look on her face.

"What happened _this _time Shirley? You got the raspberries and cream scented shampoo instead of the jasmine scented one?"

"YOU KNOW I'M ALLERGIC TO RASPBERRIES, LESLIE!" Shirley screamed, "Oh yeah, and call the police!" she added and pointed at the shards of glass scattered on the floor.

"Well I'll be, something _did_ happen!" Leslie put her hands on her hips. She clicked her tongue at the scene and reached for the phone.

* * *

"Ahem!" Deadpool cleared his throat loudly so as to get Robin's attention and ran towards a parking lot. Robin smirked and pulled out a few bombs and kept them behind his back; a makeshift minefield was bound to hurt the merc _somehow._

"Come out Deadpool and fight like a man!" Robin shouted, he could hear his echo pulsing through the empty lot, it made him cringe. His echo sounded so cold, so brutal, so unlike his own. Was that _really _what he sounded like? Unfortunately, he didn't have time to dig deeper into the subject when he heard Deadpool respond.

"And I assume you're going to fight a like a pre-pubescent boy...or a manly girl, because, let's be honest here, ya don't look or fight like any _man_ I've ever seen before." Robin was sure Deadpool was behind the green car eight cars over. He bent down and snuck his way over to where he thought the merc was hiding.

"Hell, even Emma Frost looks more muscular than you..." Deadpool let loose a lust-filled growl at the mention of the ex-White Queen's name. Robin pressed his back against the green vehicle; he could already hear Deadpool breathing. He gripped the small bombs that looked very similar to his smoke pellets except with a more explosive ending and kept his breathing steady as he bent down to look under the car.

The first and only thing he saw while under there was the bright flash of silver light from Deadpool's katana as he thrusted the blade forward. Robin recoiled as he felt the sting of being cut on his arm. He lost his grip on the five bombs and his eyes widened when he saw the faint flash of light as the little silver balls set themselves to explode. He jumped over the car behind him and ran as quickly as possible away from the general area.

"_What are you doing?!_" Slade shouted through the com link.

"I-I..." Robin knew he had to say something but saying that he'd made a mistake? Just the thought of it made his stomach drop to the Ninth Layer of Hell.

"_Robin! What happened?! Why are you running away?!_" Slade slammed his fist down on his arm rest, Robin cringed when he heard the metal bend at the force of Slade's strike...and he wasn't even _trying_ to hurt the chair.

"I-I...I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I just-I-I-!!" Robin stuttered again as he ran across the street, his eyes set on the dark alley that would lead him to a safe place to hide from the massive explosion that was about to happen.

"You what?" Deadpool chased after him. It didn't take long for him to realize those little pellet thingies were bombs, being a mercenary as long as he had came with many perks; recognizing potential weapons was one of them.

"I-_YOU_!" Robin turned around to see the merc chase after him with his single katana. He suddenly remembered the katana he had taken from Deadpool and strapped to his back. He pulled on the handle of the blade and ran towards Deadpool.

"Me what?" Deadpool asked.

There was a bright flash of white and red being reflected off the glass window of the clothing store opposite the parking lot. A loud screech rang throughout the block and there was a sudden invisible force pushing the both of them forward through the glass of the same store.

* * *

"What was that!?" Beast Boy screamed as he and Cyborg saw the bright flash of an explosion a few blocks away.

"Rae-?" Cyborg was interrupted by Raven's voice coming in through the other line.

"_We see it too_."

"What do we do?" Beast Boy asked quickly.

"BB and I will go over to the explosion, you and Star keep chasing after Bob and Wease-" Again Cyborg was interrupted by Raven's voice, much to his annoyance.

"_I think we may be going the same way_. _Bob and Weasel just turned the corner to the blast_." She reported.

"See you two there, then." Cyborg turned off the walkie and pressed on the gas.

* * *

"Did you hear that?" Bob asked as the full force of the wind hit his face, it was a miracle he was even able to get the words out, much less say them loud enough for Weasel to actually hear.

"Heard it too."

"Do you think-?"

"Yeah, it's Wade."

"Think he needs our help?"

"Well see." Weasel steered to the right and the motorcycle zoomed towards the explosion.

* * *

Robin's ears rang horribly; it hurt his head to even be conscious. He thought he let out a groan but he wasn't sure if he had, he couldn't hear himself. He tried to will himself to sit up; at least he thought it was him making the orders to his body. All he heard was the faint sound of a voice, a deep voice. Was it his? He was too delirious to really care. He turned his head over to the side, still too weak to open his eyes.

All at once he felt a severely grueling pain in his ribs. He let out a scream and he opened his eyes. He was thrown back into reality as his eyes were met with the sight of a sleek silver blade protruding out of from ribs. He began panting out of fear but it only worsened the pain.

"_Calm down, Robin_." Slade's reassuring voice broke through his intense fear and ringing. Robin calmed his breathing as much as possible and waited for Slade to say something.

"_Look around, is Deadpool still there?_"

Robin's breathing was still a little shaky but it was calm enough not to cause any pain that made him cringe. He was able to turn his head around ever so slightly to look for Deadpool. All he saw was burning clothes and seared mannequins; neither of which matter at all...until he saw Deadpool's figure slumped over a pile of scorched mannequins, the other blade protruding from his spine.

"I...I see him..." Robin said slowly. His action made the pain come back, he let himself growl in pain and cringe.

"_Calm yourself_._ Go over to him and kill him_. _Finish the mission_." Slade said his order in such a soothing voice it sounded more like a calm and level-headed suggestion; one that Robin blindly followed.

He stood up and stopped himself from cringing by biting his lower lip. He slowly regained his fantastic sense of balance and walked over with a slight limp to Deadpool's slumped body. He pulled out the sword from in between his more than likely cracked ribs. The blade was halfway soaked in blood and the other half still shone in the moonlight.

He held up the sword over his head and aligned it with his target. He took in a deep breath and forced the blade forward, immediately slicing through the bone.

The thudding sound of Deadpool's head falling on the floor echoed through the devastated building. Robin let the sword fall from his grip. He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh; his mission was finally done.

The welcome clanging of the sword was soon followed by the mother of all annoying shrill screams.

* * *

**Any Last-?

* * *

**

**

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**

**The DeadCorner:**

**Deadpool: Hello again folks. Today we have my co-anchors but still not the namesake host, Bob and Weasel.**

**Bob and Weasel: *wave to the camera***

**Deadpool: We brought in Spider-Man today because the heart and soul of **_**another certain universe**_** cut off my head in the fic.**

**Spider-Man: *waves to the cameras* What's up everyone?  
**

**Deadpool: And here's the evil witch who wrote the ending, Red Fire Divine. *boos along with the audience***

What the? *sighs and shakes her head* Must be the medicines reacting together....freaking flu...and where're the boos coming from!?

**Deadpool: That's for us to know and you to go crazy trying to find out or ignore.**

Figures.

**Deadpool: Today's topic is, WHY THE HELL DID YOU MAKE THE PIPSQUEAK CUT OFF MY MARVELOUSLY SCULPTED HEAD?!**

Dramatic effect.

**Deadpool: THAT DOESN'T CUT IT! BE HONEST!! *brings out his swords***

**Spider-Man: Whoa! Easy there, Deadpool, you can't take a little beheading? That's not what I heard-**

**Deadpool: Shut up!_ I'm _the only one allowed to break the fourth wall.**

**Spider-Man: But Bob and Weasel waved at the reader/camera.**

**Deadpool: Shut up! And stop pointing plot holes! That's **_**my **_**job too!**

**Spider-Man: *holds up his hands* I'm just saying... *webs Deadpool's swords together* Don't be threatening people Deadpool, didn't you learn in preschool that it's not nice?**

**Deadpool: Ha! Loser! You just made a web covered bat for me to smash things! *smashes the set***

The thing _I'm _really surprised about is the fact that he actually got a replica of the set of the Tonight Show.

**Deadpool: Who says it's a replica? *goes back to smashing the host's desk***

Aw, poor Conan, first a concussion, now this. That red headed fellow doesn't need this. Anyway, Wade, I didn't kill you off. You're coming back soon, I promise. I could _never_ kill you off; you're an integral part to the story!!

**Deadpool: *sniffs* Really?**

Really. That and Deadpool fans everywhere would be trying to assassinate me every waking moment of my life if I did.

**Deadpool: That's true... *sniffs and wipes his masked tears with Spidey's mask*  
**

**Spider-Man: Hey that's mine!**

**Deadpool: Shut up! I'm having a manly moment of manliness. *snivels* So I'm...**_**not**_** being killed off of the story?**

Of course not! I mentioned that before, just so you know.

**Deadpool: Well, you weren't as hopped up on drugs before this.**

Yeah...that's true. I think I should call Poison Control...

**Deadpool: Huh, I think may be feeling bad about telling all the Deadheads that you killed me off in a fanfic...if I were to take a guess, they're waiting outside for you.**

Don't worry; I'm used to never leaving my house for anything other than school. The internet is my sad social life! *laughs and then sighs* Sad, huh?

**Deadpool: Very. Well, it's time for me to inherit Hugh Hefner's estate. The man's due to drop any moment. How about you Spidey? You got a date planned with the missus? *laughs* Oh Quesada, you bastard you... *sighs* ...seriously, that jerk.**

**Spider-Man: What the hell are you talking about?**

**Deadpool: Oh no! The continuity has invaded a fanfic!! What's the internet world come to?!**

**Spider-Man: *whispers* Shut up! Now that Disney's been bought by Marvel they have ears **_**everywhere**_**...it' not safe to be heard or read out of character!**

**Deadpool: *sighs* Good, then I'm safe.**

And I'm going to get killed for making Spidey conscious of it, huh?

**Spider-Man: More than likely.**

***a distinct mousey laugh is heard behind them***

**Deadpool: Oh no...**

**Spider-Man: ...It's...it's...**

**Mickey Mouse: *laughs* Ha-ha. Here're some other non-conforming heroes. Ha-ha! *eyes begin glowing red* Get 'em boys!**

**Disney Grunts: *salute* Zieg heil!**

Run! For the love of crap! RUN!! .

*everyone runs away from the uh...commentary on Disney*

*to the reader/camera* Again, please no flames for cutting off Wade's head, he'll be back soon, if you're gonna get pissed at anybody, let it be Disney!

**Spider-Man: *swings away***

Coward!!! Leaving an innocent behind!!

**Spider-Man: When it comes to Disney, you're all on your own!! **

**Deadpool: *runs past with Bob and Weasel* HOLY SH*T!!! THEY LET PLUTO AND THE JONAS BROTHERS OFF THE LEASH!!!! RUN!!! RUN!!!!**

AAAAAAAAAAAAH! . One last thing, this is the longest chapter yet!

**Deadpool: I can see why- NO! NOT GOOFY****!!!**

RUN!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and review- OH GOD NO! NOT HANNAH MONTANA!!!!!

**Deadpool: MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!!! More so...**

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac (Who's Trying Not To Get Killed By Everyone)

_**Fire

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	16. Okay, Now You HAVE To Be Confused!

**

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Forethoughts:**

OMG! I survived all the threats on my life from both Disney AND the Deadheads!!!

I think anyway... *checks her heavily bleeding head wound*

Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little brain damage, I'm still good, I'm still god- I mean _good_.

*shifty eyes*

Uh, anyhow. I'm sorry I'm almost an entire day late (though it's still technically Saturday over here) but can you blame me? I was a li'l busy watching _Ferris Beuller's Day Off_...'twas amazing!!! I now see why it's considered a classic. I can only hope that I can make something as iconic as that some day...

Anyway...uh...I don't really know how to say this exactly but uh...ahem, um, you see... *rubs the back of her neck*

Well...the uh, until further notice, the next chapter/s will not be on time, i.e. I wouldn't sit around next Saturday waiting for me to update because I probably won't have the next chapter done by next week.

The story's gotten a lot more complicated and that means that I need to over exert my logic and creativity and I've got about two paragraphs done, that's it...and even then I'm editing them heavily.

So, once again, I don't think I'll be updating as regularly as I have been in the past few months or so. Updates will more than likely be erratic, sorry if this puts off a lot of you but that's how things seem to be going...

:'

-_**Fire

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**Disclaimer:**

HOLY SHIT I OWN THEM!!!!

LOL, Just kidding.

I own diddly shit.

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**Business Endeavors

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**Chapter 16: Okay, Now You HAVE To Be Confused!

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**

Nothing could have prepared him for the maddening sound resonating through what would now be correctly classified as rubble.

He cringed and turned around to try and find the source of the piercing scream.

A pair of glowing green eyes and long red hair in the backdrop of midnight met his masked eyes; it was Starfire. Beside her was Raven who easily blended in with their shadowy surroundings. Behind the two girls was the T-Car, Cyborg was standing in front of it, next to him was Beast Boy whose jaw was dropped and his eyes widened, just like the other's.

On the opposite side of the Titans were Bob and Weasel standing near his bike. He let out a low animalistic growl at the two dunces. Weasel still had a hand on the grip of the steer and Bob was bent over screaming the shrill scream.

"Dammit! Not again!!!" Bob screamed the line over and over while Weasel patted his back with his free hand.

"_R-Robin?_" Starfire asked timidly once Bob calmed himself down. She floated towards him tentatively with her hand stretched out to touch him.

"_Focus Robin_." Slade's voice reminded him to stay as rigid as a statue, no matter what happened, and so he did. He ignored the pain in his ribs and reached for a few smoke pellets in his back pockets.

Cyborg's eyes widened and he aimed his canon at Robin, it had taken him a moment to realize that he was wearing the apprentice suit again, something none of the Titans ever liked to remember. "Don't move, man!" he shouted.

Robin suspended the movement of his hand and leered at Cyborg. He jerked his head over to his side as he saw Starfire fly over behind the pile of mannequins. She gasped when she saw Deadpool's decapitated body and the bloody sword next to Robin.

Upon seeing him in the costume she had hoped beyond hope that it was just like last time, just a robbery that wouldn't involve hurting anyone and although she did not like the mercenary Deadpool for kidnapping her best friend, even he didn't deserve..._this_.

She staggered back from the scene. Robin noticed this and he felt his face warm into a worried expression. He stepped forward only to hear the click from Cyborg's canon again.

"_Robin_." He heard the only voice that ever caught him by surprise, "_Perhaps you can do better than the mercenary did on exterminating them_."

Instinctively Robin felt his hand move down to his wound that still stung like hell and he leered at the dead mercenary lying before him.

"_Do it_." Slade said. Robin hesitated for a moment and looked back at the group. By now Raven had begun chanting, Beast Boy had turned into a leopard, and Starfire was reluctantly readying her starbolts.

"_Now!_" Slade shouted. Robin felt his body recoil as if Slade had just smacked his head. His mind blanked and he gulped. For a moment the Titan's aims wavered at his delay of action.

That was all the time he needed.

He quickly grabbed a few smoke bombs and set them off in front of him. Once the grey veil set itself he jumped over to Cyborg and rammed his staff as hard he could to the robotic teen's skull. He heard a groan and then a thud and he jumped his way over to Raven. He tackled her as she coughed from the smoke. He pulled her up by her arm and threw her at the pair of glowing green eyes. The girls grunted just as Beast Boy lunged at him.

Robin growled. Though he didn't look as fierce as Beast Boy when he growled back as a tiger, it still instilled a seed of fear in the green boy. Robin landed his punches with precision on Beast Boy's ever changing body. Even when he turned into a bear, a panther, a lion, a bull or a wolverine, Robin still managed to punch a sensitive spot. Beast Boy staggered back after being wailed on. We wiped the trickle of blood coming down his face; it was someone else's turn to be the punching bag now.

"WHAT ABOUT ME!?!" Deadpool shouted and thrusted his katanas in the air like Lion-O from the old_ Thundercats _cartoon.

"What the fuck!?!" Robin's jaw dropped. How much blood had he lost?!

"Thank you Bob! You're the only man I trust to put my head back on my shoulders just the way I like it!" Deadpool saluted to Bob who was now looking down at his hands with disgust.

"This is the second time I've done this...and I'm _still_ not used to it..." Bob said in a voice like that of a traumatized child.

"None of us ever are, Bob." Weasel patted him on the back.

"Smells like pennies." Beast Boy commented while he rubbed his facial bruises.

"Aw! That smell takes _hours_ to wash off!!!!" Bob shouted and he sniffed his hands from afar, only to gag when he did, "Ewww!"

"Come on Petey! Let's tango!" Deadpool put away his swords and enticed the boy by extending his arms to either side, a free shot.

Robin clenched his teeth together and let out an angry battle cry as he lunged forward at the red clad mercenary.

Deadpool grunted as he felt the linoleum floor slam into his head...or vice versa. He kicked Robin in his stomach and made him flip over his head and land on his back opposite Deadpool.

Robin let out a loud heaving cry as he felt blood begin to ooze out of his wound. Tears began to roll down his cheeks and onto the ash covered floor and he tried to get back up to his knees.

Deadpool moved slightly closer to the injured boy in front of him. He reached his hand out with caution. "Hey kid, you okay-?"

"OF COURSE I'M NOT OKAY!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU-!?!? _GAAAH_!" Robin bent over and clutched his stomach. His heaving breaths only worsened the perpetual flow of blood out of his system. The adrenaline rush that had flowed through his body had now lost its effect and he was beginning to feel the effects of going without medical attention.

He inched away from Deadpool, and when he noticed that the Titans too were nearing in on him he crawled back too.

"Hey, Robin, come on, we're your friends." Cyborg said with care while extending his hand

Robin looked up at the shiny and metallic hand coming towards him. He kept still for moment, gazing at the act of friendship.

"_Robin! Finish them!_" Slade ordered through the com link.

Once more Robin hesitated at his order. He looked back up at the five Titans standing before him with expressions of concern on their faces...and Deadpool, Bob and Weasel were there too.

Robin felt his mind blank and he fell into the same form of delirium he always did. He blinked a few times and looked back up at the group of people standing in front of him.

Perfect.

He reached to his back pockets for a few of the round explosives that-

His eyes widened when he didn't feel any more of the bombs. He figured that he must have used to more in the parking lot than he intended.

He panicked and looked back at everyone. They were now slow squinting at the movement he had done. His eyes widened once more as he tried to think up a lie.

If he had been a cartoon character, or Deadpool, a light bulb would have lit up above his head.

"I...I don't know if I can trust you..." he said warily and he crawled away from them, he cringed when the wound in his stomach stretched out. He really should have been gone by now and getting medical attention from Slade. He wasn't sure if he could stand much longer. He could already feel a bit lighter headed than usual, though that could've just been an after effect of those bouts of blankness in his mind.

"Dude, you can trust us." Beast Boy crouched down and extended his hand as Cyborg had.

"Yes Robin, we are your friends." Starfire also moved in along with Beast Boy.

"But..." Robin started, he looked over at Deadpool, "...what about him? He might..._hurt_ me again."

"Oh yeah, shouldn't we be arresting him right no-?" Deadpool quickly covered Beast Boy's mouth and stepped in front of Robin.

"No no no no no! No! Look, _I _am…_not_ trying to hurt Petey. You see, I was- err _am_...not good...at uh, _explaining_ things...such as this. Uh..." Deadpool turned his back to Robin so as to face the Titans. "Look, you see...I _may_ have kidnapped him but that was only for money, you see. But I am now trying to make up for it because he's acting all..._weird_-"

"You've only known him for a few hours!" Cyborg spoke up.

"Told ya." Weasel said under his breath.

"Hey, shut up! Look, I'm not trying to hurt him or kill him or anything except sort of get him out of this thing with Slade and all...yeah, I guess that sums it all up." Deadpool stroked his chin and turned to face Robin.

"So you see Pete, I'm not trying to kill you-"

"A shame," Robin said while bouncing a grenade in the air. He had stolen from Deadpool's back pockets when no one was looking, "because killing me is the only way I'll stop trying to kill you." He smirked.

"Oh crapola..." Deadpool said quietly when he noticed that the ring had been taken off of the hand grenade.

"That's what I get for get for sticking with the classic avocado lookin' war grade weapons." Deadpool shook his head from side to side as everyone backed away. "You do realize that I'll probably heal from this too, right?"

"I don't know. If you can heal from being completely incinerated then maybe this _is_ a waste of time..." Robin jerked his head over to the hissing gas pipe.

"Ohhh...huh...not too sure about being completely obliterated...I'll have to check up on Death for that tidbit." Deadpool chuckled nervously and lunged forward at Robin.

Robin threw the grenade over to the leaking gas pipe and jumped out of the way of Deadpool. Deadpool was able to grab onto his leg however and he pulled the boy away from the building as far as he could until Robin began resisting.

He kicked Deadpool in the stomach and punched him there too. He pulled back for another punch but Deadpool grabbed his other hand and threw him over to the sidewalk. Robin stood up and lunged back at Deadpool. A quick struggle ensued and Deadpool was able to get Robin in a choke hold and drag him far enough away from the building before the grenade went off.

"Yet another reason why teenagers should not be allowed to use weapons!!" Deadpool shouted. Everyone closed their eyes and covered their ears as the deafening explosion went off.

"Thank God I'm used to them by now." Deadpool said quietly as he made sure to cover Robin's ears, the kid just wouldn't stop resisting.

Deadpool peeked his eye open a little to see where Bob and Weasel were only to find a brick being slammed into his face. He groaned and let go of Robin.

Robin dropped the brick and ran as fast as he could even as debris, such as scary looking mannequin heads, rained down from the sky. He felt the wound his stomach pump out more blood with every passing step, he just hoped that another adrenaline rush would kick in to help him focus. Unfortunately, he collapsed about one and a half blocks away from the explosion.

"_Robin_. _What are you doing? Go back and finish them, everyone!_" Slade ordered.

"I...I'm...I'm sorry Slade..." Robin heaved out and he groaned. He clutched his stomach again. He tightened his fist and punched the cement in agony. "I-I can't...I _can't_..." he repeated his words quietly. He looked down at his gloves; they were completely soaked in blood by now. He leaned his head back on the brick wall and sighed in defeat.

His head felt lighter than it had all night, if Slade had responded he hadn't heard it. For a moment he thought his mind blanked but his delirious state made it hard for him to really know for sure.

He looked on either side of the road; he could barely make a few figures headed towards him. He would have stayed sitting down had he not felt the sudden urge to stand up and grab his bō staff. However, his grip was weak and he could barely keep his balance. He turned back to see the small figures get bigger and more distorted.

He covered his ears when he heard loud blaring noises and red flashing lights appear. Then there were blue lights that came along with the red lights and a higher pitched noise accompanied the one that sound more like a horn. He could make out the bright red fire trucks and black and white police cars zoom past him without noticing him.

He groaned and looked around, the figures weren't there anymore and neither were the trucks. He felt the urge to move again but this time _away _from where he had come from.

He shook his head furiously so as to try and get a sense of collection and stability. His previously blurred vision slowly sharpened and he ran forward with tired steps. He got to the corner, about two blocks away from where the explosion had occurred and he noticed the black shadowy forest at the edge of the city. He stopped for a moment to gaze at the spectacle, he had seen a lot of dark forest scenery in the outskirts of Gotham and he sort of missed it.

Although he felt the urge to turn the corner and go..._somewhere_, he was still too delirious to think about multiple things at once; he ignored the urge and stepped forward into the forest, trying to feel a sense of familiarity and belongingness that he hadn't felt in some time.

He could almost imagine Batman appearing out of nowhere like he always did. For a moment he swore he could see the Batplane flying overhead but it was probably just a bird or something. He ventured further into the forest looked around.

Other than the obvious creepiness of a dark forest he saw footsteps in the ground. They were too big and they looked a few days old so he figured that they weren't his.

He stepped forward a little bit and squinted his eyes; he swore that there was a sudden ripple where he was staring at. He passed it off as his delirium but he heard a nagging voice in the back of his head that said it wasn't. And that voice was usually right. He bent down to grab a rock only to feel a hand on his shoulder.

He gasped and jerked his head around to see who it was.

"You know, when someone's house is in the woods, you usually shouldn't be working for them. Case in point; that witch bitch and her ginger bread house. Another example; that base on Endor in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. And we all know who the bad guy was in that!" Deadpool said. There was something in his palm, a display device of sorts that had a blinking red dot and another that looked like Deadpool's mask.

Robin staggered backward. His eyes widened and he gasped out for air as he felt something happen to him. At first there was a tingling sensation and then he felt as though he was being stretched out into a trillion pieces and then put back together just as quickly, something he was sure Humpty Dumpty would've been jealous of.

He fell back onto his rear and arched backwards, screaming his voice out. He clutched his head and kept on screaming. His vision blurred as his eyes swelled up with tears. It was as though his mind went through the ultimate blank, instantly he felt nothing but blind pain. He didn't let down screaming until he felt someone touch his shoulder again. He looked over to see a red clad figure.

"Hey are you-?" he was cut of by Robin scrambling up to his feet and let out ragged, fear filled breaths. He stepped away from the figure before him, his vision was too blurry to really make out much and the darkness but he still knew that he didn't want anything to do with whoever that was. That person was bad news; he could feel it in the pit of his stomach. Just seeing that person made him feel angry and afraid.

Robin turned around and ran before he heard another word from the person. A sharp sting coursed from his ribs to the entirety of his body. He didn't let up though, he kept running until he heard a whoosh come in front of him, but it wasn't anyone moving silently or not so silently, it was a car zooming past. He could tell by the headlights. He quickened his pace and saw a highway. Since it was midnight there weren't as many cars but every once in a while he felt the cold rushing wind of a speeding car.

Robin looked over to his left where he swore he could see light, and there was.

From afar he could see tall skyscrapers that lit up and twinkled in columns so bright that they put the stars to shame. He jumped over the concrete dividers between the road and the forest he came from and ran through the street, intent on leaving for the city instead of staying in the forest with whoever that was.

He crouched down on the other side of the _other_ dividers that kept those leaving the city on one side and those going to the city on the other, he was now on the side go to the city. He waited until he saw headlights coming forward. When the got close enough he started running towards the city, for a brief second he was running neck and neck with the car, he saw that there was a trunk and he jumped.

Thankfully he landed on a bunch of bags so there wasn't a _thud_ that the driver would have heard. He kept his head down and stuck to the shadows so as to not draw any attention. He let his head fall back and he touched his wound again.

He wasn't even sure how he got the wound there, but he was sure it had something to do with that red clad figure that had scared the crap out of him.

He blinked his eyes a few times as he felt a sense of delirium overtake him. The adrenaline that had been coursing through him to focus was now dying down. He slowly closed his eyes, he was so weary and so tired he was surprised he kept his eyes open this long.

The bumpy road only served to rock him to sleep and the sound of the engine was his lullaby.

* * *

"Why hello! _You're_ the lucky person who's going to let me use their car! Doesn't that sound fun!?" Deadpool said happily as he pulled out some poor shmuck and his other college friends from their car and drove away, leaving only burned rubber behind.

He sipped the beer they had so generously forgot to take when he kicked them out. He looked around for the only other car he had heard drive through the highway towards the city. He pressed harder on the gas. His head was pressed back against the seat by the force of the speed.

"How the hell the astronauts do this?!" he was barely able to scream out.

* * *

"Dude? Where'd he go?!" Beast Boy shouted as he looked around everywhere.

"Stupid cops! If they hadn't wanted an explanation we could've followed him!" Cyborg growled.

"But...why are _you two_ still here?" Raven asked Bob and Weasel who had been standing around quietly. Surprisingly the cops hadn't noticed them, possibly because they blended in so well with the background...or they were too busy making sure no one died.

"We didn't know where Deadpool went." Bob shrugged.

"But...why stay here when we're going to arrest-?" Raven's mouth was covered by Cyborg.

"Hey Weasel, you think you can take a look at this for me? It's called my fist in your face!" Cyborg lunged forward at Weasel. Weasel covered his face and screamed but failed to feel any pain.

"Cyborg! We must first find Robin! Then you may give Weasel _the beat down_." Starfire said while Raven once again held Cyborg suspended in the air with her powers.

"Aw...but-"

"No buts dude, your vendetta can wait some more, can't it?" Beast Boy said almost like a wise sage, which alarmed Cyborg as Beast Boy _never_ said anything smart.

"Fine! But when we're done-!!" Cyborg grabbed Weasel's collar and Weasel in turn let out a whimper.

"Alright Titans, let's go!" Cyborg pointed to no general direction like any leader would while still being held in the air, "Raven, you mind?"

"Fine." She said quietly and let Cyborg down.

Immediately Cyborg grabbed Weasel by the collar again and Weasel again whimpered.

"Cyborg!" Raven shouted.

"I'm kidding! I'm kidding!" Cyborg let go of Weasel's collar and pulled out an ultra violet light, "Since Robin was bleeding pretty badly we can probably see a trail of blood he may have left behind."

The Titans walked forward and left Bob and Weasel behind. Cyborg turned around and gave Weasel the, _I'm watching you_,sign. Weasel whimpered.

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Any Last Thoughts?**

Aaaargh! I _hate_ writer's block!!! I can't even write anything funny for my author's notes...stupid writer's block!

*sighs*

And not only that, but I now have a creative writing project for English...

Stupid writer's block...

*sighs*

So...again, updates will probably not be as consistent as usual.

And Happy Halloween just in case the next update will be afterwards.

And Merry Christmas- JUST KIDDING!

My writer's block isn't _that_ bad...

..._I_ _hope_...

KIDDING!!

Pray for me, minions-err, _friends_!! Heh heh...

See you all _real _soon, loyal readers!

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac

_**Fire

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	17. This Is Halloween

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Forethoughts:**

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

I'm back everyone!

You know what that means, right?!?!

I'M NOT DEAD YET!!!

YAY!!!

Oh, you don't care?

You only want a new chapter?!!

Well me either and so do I for both!!! ^_^ (How careless I am of my own life...)

But yes, here comes a new chapter, a Halloween-ish chapter- at least, as Halloweeny as I can get during Smarch.

Anyway, a new chapter and that means a new plot twist!!!

Ohh, I've been waiting for this part of the story for sooooooooo long!!! I've envisioned it so perfectly...

And yet, it's _still_ gonna take me like months to write. Seriously, these last few parts of the story (story, not chapters!) are what I was imagining right after I had kidnapped Robin- I mean, Wade had kidnapped Robin!

Oh yeah, I should probably mention how crappy it's been not being able to write as constantly as I once did. I've been making nonstop pop culture references for two or three weeks straight! It's not annoying or anything- if anything it's made me more likeable to everyone around me who gets them- but it's just been driving me crazy because these are all pop culture references that _Deadpool_ should be making, not me!

And so, I shall vow to have MORE DEADPOOL!!! (After this chapter- this one's a set up to more, _bigger _chapters!! So don't get pissy if there's not enough Wade- there's no such thing as not enough Wade except in _X-Men Origins: Wolverine_ that I am still going to want for Christmas!!!)

So yeah, that's how I'm gonna try and do it as I've mentioned before...somewhere.

I would also like to take this time to convince all of you to look for CardGamesFTW on Youtube if you haven't already. The Abridged Series, as some of you may already know, has been on a hiatus for a few months. Well, LittleKuriboh has just finished the next two episodes and is going to post 'em up _real_ soon. And for those of you who don't know who LK is or the Abridged Series, I highly suggest you watch it, it'll make you pee your pants...not that I have, but milk _has_ come out of my nose when watching it. (I was eating Snickers with milk at the time- a bag full of Snickers with my bros and I always eat them with milk- DON'T JUDGE ME!!)

Hmm...I don't believe there's anything else...

Oh, right, I'm not promising that I'll be posting regularly again but the holiday just felt right. So if you're not out trick or treating, I thank you for going back on the computer to read this.

Hmmm....anything else?!?!??! Nope, don't think so. Without much further adieu, CHAPTER 17!!!!!!!!!! (And the disclaimer)

-_**Fire

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**Disclaimer:**

It's Halloween!!!

And I still don't own 'em!!!

**Deadpool: BOO!**

AAAAAAAAH!

**Deadpool: No one can send me back where I came from!!! That's impossible!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!! And now I shall take over with Deadpool's Corner again!!!!**

*meekly walks back in* How about a quick Halloween special at the end of the chapter?

**Deadpool: *shrugs* Works for me.**

Halloween chapter it is. *quickly gets to work on it*

**Deadpool: *laughs maliciously* *Transylvanian accent* And now, enjoy this delectable treat that contains gratuitous amounts of me that Red Fire Divine doth not own...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! **_**Happy Halloween everyone...**_

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Business Endeavors

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**Chapter 17: This Is (The) Halloween (Special)!!

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The insistent crunching of twigs under their feet made them realize more and more how much stealth was not their forte but more one of Robin's as they walked through the dark shrubbery that surrounded Jump.

The soft purplish light coming from Cyborg's shoulder dimmed slightly when he yawned, "Oh, sorry." He said and redirected his energy back to the light.

"There is so much blood..." Starfire frowned.

It was true, they were able to follow his trail of blood because of a wound in his stomach and it seemed as though he had bled for about a mile, something that seriously worried all of them.

"Well, on the upside if he _has_ lost that much then we might find him unconscious soon." Beast Boy said sheepishly but no one replied. Beast Boy ignored the silence and inspected the surrounding trees. It was so dark. He felt a dizzying sensation for a moment and leaned back against a tree to shake his head.

"What is wrong Beast Boy?" Starfire asked.

"Uh...I don't...nothing." he said as he quickly regained himself.

"Are you sure?" Raven asked.

"You don't usually just fall over like that unless you've lost a Street Fighter Tournament." Cyborg said.

"I just...it feels like something is off around here, you know?" Beast Boy said as he looked at the trees again.

"I know what you mean." Raven said quietly and turned around to the direction in which they were going, "But if we're going to find Robin...we're gonna have to ignore a few feelings."

All of a sudden Cyborg's UV light went out.

"Including _that_?" Beast Boy asked as Starfire ignited a starbolt to light the way.

"Hey, this time it wasn't me!" Cyborg insisted as everyone turned around to look at him. He stuck out his tongue at them and smacked his shoulder's light for it to go on again, "Aw man, I think it's busted..." he said under his breath.

"But now how will we follow Robin?" Starfire asked.

Everyone turned their head to look at Beast Boy.

"What?" Beast Boy backed up against the tree.

"You can turn into a dog and sniff our way to him." Cyborg said.

"But..." Beast Boy frowned and looked into the direction they had been going in. "I...it's...uh..." he stuttered, "I can't."

"Why not?" asked Starfire.

"Because...not here, it feels weird. I mean, can't you try and find him with your telepathy or something?" he pointed at Raven, and then he pointed to Starfire, "Or you with...?" he skipped her and went on to Cyborg, "Or you with more gadgets or trying to follow some tracking device he might have on him?"

Starfire leered at him.

"Because you turning into a dog would be a more efficient way and you'd be able to make a trail leading right for him." Raven crossed her arms and gave Beast Boy _the Look_.

"Uh...but...I..._aww_..." Beast Boy pouted and took in a deep breath. He closed his eyes and after a long moment, transformed into a green bloodhound but immediately started whimpering at the direction they had been going in.

"What is it, BB?" Cyborg asked, he let out a fake gasp, "Did little Timmy fall down the well? Oh heavens no!"

Beast Boy whimpered a little longer before yelping and running away.

"Beast Boy!!" Starfire called out.

"Come on man! The joke wasn't _that_ bad!!" Cyborg shouted as they turned around to follow him. "Oh, wait." Cyborg said.

"What?" Raven asked.

"I'm gonna leave a mark so we know where the trail is." He said as he ripped a piece of bark off of a tree and wrote on the ground _Teh Tightnz Wer Heer_. He snickered at his attempt at horrible grammar. "The beauty of it is that its funny _and_ I might be able to pin this on BB if anyone sees this."

Raven smacked him and they ran after Beast Boy.

* * *

"Muahahahahahaha!!!" Deadpool cackled along with the DVD, he was really glad that he stole a car from a bunch of frat boys. A DVD player, some beer, it was like his apartment on wheels!

"Welcome to the DVD commentary for Robot Chicken!" He said along with Seth Green in the commentary. He drank some beer at the first sign of the word _fuck_. A very enticing drinking game indeed when it came to Robot Chicken commentaries.

He drank more beer and made sure that _Old Faithful_ was properly fastened with the seat belt, "You okay there my little doorknob? Eh? Yeah, you sure are. Papa don't want you getting set off without me, no he doesn't." he doted on his gun.

"Why yes, Seth Green _would_ make an okay Weasel," he paused before adding to his statement in an angrier and faster voice, "_if_ _I were to get my own solo movie with Ryan Reynolds as opposed to the freakin' Green Lantern!!_" he said, once again displaying knowledge he shouldn't know. "_Ass_." He said quietly before making his way into the fringes of New York City.

"It's kinda weird that I'm all the way back in New York when I swear I was like two blocks away from the Golden Gate Bridge." He laughed, "Oh, plot holes, how awesome are you guys today?"

He rummaged around his pockets again for his tracking device displayer. "_Yata!_" he exclaimed when he found it and put up the peace sing like Chun-Li from Street Fighter.

He looked around the device for the switch and quickly threw it up in the air to take three more chugs of beer before catching the device again; luckily, it was on the side with the on button. "Ya-_freaking_-ta!" He turned it on and lay against the seat to drive more comfortably before finishing his beer.

"Alright Petey, where're _you _goin'?" he said quietly as the blinking light came on again. "To Forest Hills!!" Deadpool shouted before having to toss the device back up and let go of the wheel to grab another beer.

* * *

"BEAST BOY?!" Starfire shouted with powerful lungs. Cyborg and Raven had covered their ears whenever she took in such a deep breath, but the poor bystanders had no idea what was going to happen when she did that and about half of them went temporarily deaf.

Cyborg slowly uncovered his ear to hear if it was safe. He sighed when there was nothing but the sound of people screaming because they had lost their hearing, but other than that, no fierce Starfire screams.

"Beast Boy?!" Cyborg and Raven shouted, their screams however fell on deaf ears- literally- as a green howling dog came out from an alley and transformed back into Beast Boy.

"MY EARS!! I CAN'T HEAR!!!!!!" he shouted.

"Don't worry, it'll wear off after twenty minutes." Raven said as she and the others caught up to him.

"Beast Boy!" Starfire cried happily and crushed him in a hug.

"What did you say Raven!?!" Beast Boy shouted as he started losing the air from his lungs.

A light bulb lit over Cyborg's head and he grabbed some street chalk and wrote out, '_We have to go find Robin now, alright?_'

"I...I guess but I'm not changing back into a dog over there!" Beast Boy said just as Starfire let him out of her hug.

Cyborg wrote, '_Why not?_'

"Because I won't!" Beast Boy crossed his arms and turned around.

Cyborg ran over and wrote, '_Are you afraid of the dark or something?_'

"No, I just won't change- not there at least. It's...I just won't!" Beast Boy grabbed the chalk out of Cyborg's hands and crushed it under his foot. "I won't change over there, alright? I'll help look for Robin- hell, I'm all for looking for him- but I'm not transforming over there again!"

Raven walked over to one of the questions Cyborg wrote down and tapped her foot over, '_Why not?_'

Beast Boy grimaced and didn't answer.

Raven tapped her foot again, this time harder.

Beast Boy still didn't answer.

Cyborg and Starfire walked over and tapped their feet along with Raven.

Beast Boy groaned, "You really wanna know?"

They all shook their heads.

"That place is freaky." He said simply.

They all tapped their feet on, '_Why?_'

Beast Boy looked back at the shrubbery and shuddered, he turned to them and spoke in a low, solemn voice, "Look, when I turned I saw this really bright light there- and I mean _bright_- it didn't hurt me or anything but I knew that I shouldn't go any farther, it was like...weird. It wasn't scary; it was just...freaky- wrong, even. I know you can sense something weird Raven, and I know that if you try you might be able to find something wrong with that place there, Cy, but you won't be able to see what I saw, and I don't plan on seeing it again. It was like..." Beast Boy shrugged, "It's hard to explain. It was like staring at God; you just shouldn't be looking."

Raven, Cyborg, and Starfire looked at each other, neither of them knowing what to do. But even then they weren't able to say anything when their communicators went off. Beast Boy saw the incessant blinking of his own and they pulled them out to see a blank message coming from the Tower.

"Wait, I thought communications was off?" Raven asked.

"It should be, _Weasel_ switched everything off before I could fix it." Cyborg said, his brow furrowed as he tried to figure out the conundrum.

"Should we still go_?_" Starfire asked.

"Yup." Cyborg said, "Titans, Go!"

* * *

Bob hummed to himself as Weasel typed furiously on the computer. It was as if Weasel had no concept of taking it casual while on a computer.

Again, they were forced in the park they had been in the day earlier, err, _half_ a day earlier.

"Isn't that like Wade, leave us without telling us where he's going?" Weasel said under his breath. He only ever really insulted Wade when he was having trouble with something.

"Roadblock?" Bob asked as he lay against the tree to see what Weasel was doing.

"Yeah, stupid friggin' walls. I can knock it down it's just annoying that I have to do it in the first place." Weasel said as he typed strings of command. "Oh sweet!"

"You got through?"

"No."

Bob looked at him in confusion, "Isn't that a _bad_ thing?"

"No."

Bob was still confused, "Say what?"

"If I can't get through in like ten twenty seconds that means that this is either the last or close to last wall there is before I'm in the network." Weasel continued to type his keyboard storm.

"Ohhh..." Bob shook his head as he understood perfectly.

After about a minute a Weasel quietly said, "Yes! I'm in!"

Another minute later a glint came to Weasel's eye, "Oooh."

"What?" Bob asked.

"The Watchtower..." Weasel said quietly.

"Watchtower?" Bob asked.

"Yup, it's- apparently- the most powerful satellite orbiting the Earth in whatever universe we're in or whatever. With this I'll be able to triangulate Wade's location perfectly!" Weasel said with excitement in his voice as he continued typing. "Just gotta cover myself...blame it on other people...good, and _now_ I can find Wade. Hooray for military spy satellites!" He and Bob high fived each other.

"How long is it gonna take you to find Mr. Wilson?" Bob asked.

"Not too long, he's probably still near the city so just a few minutes." Weasel said.

* * *

What's the scariest thing a person can see in their lifetime?

Cyborg had often wondered that.

Raven believed she had already seen worse things.

Starfire never thought about it.

And Beast Boy thought that the Texas Chainsaw Massacre was the fucking scariest thing in the world.

They got their answer when the arrived at the tower.

Standing on their roof was an angry and scowling _**Batman**_!

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Holiday Specials**

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**Special #1: Lesson Learned**

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Twas a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away.

Seriously, it was because this took place in the Marvel universe which is like eight universes away from Sunday so its pretty far.

Anyway, Deadpool, the loveable Merc with a Mouth had just finished going through his emo phase after somehow seeing his portrayal in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, yes I'm bagging on this everywhere. I mean, it wasn't _horrible_ but they did butt rape Wade.

"WHY GOD WHY!??!?!" Deadpool shouted.

Oh wait, this is too early.

**TIME SKIP**~~

It was Halloween in the Marvel U. Bunches of kids were dressed up as Spider-Man and it was hard to distinguish between the emos and the people dressed up to make fun of the emos.

Speaking of emos; Deadpool had just finished begin all emo after watching an illegally and somehow uploaded Origins. I blame Youtube.

"And I blame the rap music." Deadpool said as he rummaged around the fridge for food.

"Why the rap music?" Weasel asked.

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"**_Narf_**!"

"Never mind." Weasel said and he and Bob went back to flipping the channels.

"Hey look! It's the Charlie Brown Halloween Special!" Bob exclaimed.

"The one with the pumpkin or the one where he let's go of his rage and goes on a rampage and kills everyone?" Weasel asked as he adjusted his glasses.

"Can't tell yet. That one started so innocently..." Bob sighed.

"NO FOOD!?!??!?!?!!?!!!" Deadpool cried, "WHY ISN'T THERE EVER ANY FOOD!?!?!?!!!!"

"Because you always finish it." Weasel said.

"Oh right." Deadpool slammed the fridge door shut, "But _now_ what will I eat!?"

Weasel and Bob shrugged as Deadpool looked out the window and saw some kids trick-or-treating.

A light bulb went off above his head.

"Weasel, Bob! Put on a lame Joker outfit that will look nothing like the Heath Ledger version and let's go _trick-or-treat_!!!" he said in an over the top anime fashion.

"Why're you holding up the peace sign?" Bob asked, and was ignored.

"But we're too old to-" Weasel was interrupted by Wade pulling him up by the collar.

"If you say we're too old for trick-or-treating I swear I'm...I'm...gonna cut off your lightsaber!!" Deadpool pointed over to where Weasel had a display case of his _force powered dual action lightsaber that lit up and had super awesome special action sounds from the movies_!!!

"Obi-Wan!!" Weasel cried and reached out to his lightsaber like Luke had to Obi-Wan in the Original movie.

"Besides, you're already dressed the part." Deadpool pointed at Weasel's Jedi Robes.

"But these are my jammies." Weasel said pulling on his Jedi robe.

"And Bob, you've still got your Hydra suit on, we can all go dressed up as wacky loveable characters from comic books!!" Deadpool said as he dared to open **The Closet Of No Return**!!!!

"WADE!! NOOOO!!!!!" Weasel and Bob screamed as an avalanche of crap they didn't use anymore poured over Deadpool.

"_Weasel_..._Bob_..." Deadpool said hoarsely, "I'm not...not...I'm not gonna make it..." he coughed, "I want you to know...I-I..."

"Wade, it's only up to your knees." Weasel said.

Deadpool looked down; sure enough he was only up to his knees in needless crap.

"Oh, alright then, never mind." He grabbed three buckets; a pumpkin, a Darth Vader head, and a Charlie Brown head.

"Here ya go." He threw the pumpkin at Weasel and Charlie Brown at Bob.

Weasel cleared his throat when he noticed that he didn't get Darth. Deadpool sighed and he switched with Weasel.

"But I'm getting three pieces of your candy, okay?!" Deadpool warned as they walked out the door.

"Fine-oh wait!" Weasel shouted and he quickly grabbed his _super special awesome light up lightsaber with awesome sounds from the movie that other stuff that's super cool for nerds_!!!

"Alright, we're ready to go!!" Weasel shouted as he ran down the steps and turned on his lightsaber.

"Sweet!" Deadpool said as he kicked the door open, "HELLO WORLD! WE'RE BUNCH OF MIDDLE AGED MEN CARRYING WEAPONS THAT ONLY WANT CANDY!!!!!!"

"Yeah? Well so are we!" another trio of middle aged men dressed up as Captain America, a Sith Lord, and a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent shouted from across the street and lifted up their own buckets that had yet to be filled with candy.

"_You're on, bitch_..." Deadpool leered at the Cap wannabe.

"_And you're a loser_..." the Cap-a-be replied.

Both groups ran to opposite sides of the street to get candy.

* * *

"Trick-or-Treat ma'am!" the rival group said to an elderly lady and she gave them candy after remarking how cute their costumes were.

"Trick-or-treat good citizen!" the rival group said next and got more candy.

And so on and so forth.

* * *

"Wade, shouldn't we be getting candy?" Weasel asked.

"Not when I'm trying to kill someone." Deadpool said as he grabbed a few decorations off the street. He quickly built a giant, human sized slingshot.

Deadpool smiled, "Launch me, boys."

* * *

"Trick-or-treat!" the rival group said and a young boy looked at them suspiciously.

"Aren't you a little old to be trick-or-treating?" the boy asked in a high pitched voice.

"Aren't you a little young to be answering the door on Halloween?" the Sith Lord asked.

The boy scowled at them and the little person took off his wig and wiped away his freckles, his former high pitch went down a few octaves and a gravelly feel to it. The little man pulled out a cigar, put it in his mouth, and lit it, "That's it! You're not getting any candy!!"

"Holy crap! We've angered Mini Me!!" the Cap-a-be exclaimed.

The little man gave them the finger before kicking Cap's shin.

"Ow...that stung." Cap said. The little man leered at the group before his eyes widened and he backed away.

"What?" the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent asked.

None of them saw Deadpool being slung right for them across the street from a giant human sized sling shot and screaming at the top of his lungs, "BOO BITCHES!!"

He tackled the group and stole their candy. He turned over to see the little man, "Holy crap, it's Danny De Vito!"

The little man crossed his arms, "You're lucky I like his movies." And he tossed wade a mini snickers before he slammed the door shut.

"Sweet." Wade said as Weasel and Bob ran up to him.

"Did you get the candy!?" they asked.

"Have I ever not gotten candy?" Deadpool asked.

"Do you really want us to answer that?" Weasel asked.

"Touché."

They walked away from the rival group's knocked out bodies and went door to door collecting more candy.

* * *

By the end of the night our favorite trio had collected buckets full of candy and were just about to go home when they heard an incessant screaming.

"My common sense is tingling." Deadpool said quickly but turned around to see that no Captain America wannabe had been launched on a human size catapult.

"Where's the screaming coming from?" Weasel asked.

"Up above?" Bob asked as he craned his neck up to see nothing but stars...or at least as many stars he could see through the light pollution.

But none of them saw the rival trio coming from the sidewalk carrying a plastic shield, a fake but still awesome lightsaber, and a black nerf gun respectively.

Deadpool, Weasel, and Bob's counterparts tackled them and bombarded them with listless whacks from their plastic weapons and stole the candy.

"BASTARDS!!!" Deadpool shouted, "**VENDETTA**!!!!!" he screamed as he ripped his shirt open like a soccer player who had just scored a goal.

* * *

The rival trio laughed as they walked into their apartment to see that it was a complete mess.

Just like they'd left it.

"Good to be home." The Cap-a-like sighed and jumped on the couch.

"Yeah, especially after letting those idiots collect candy for us." The Sith Lord said.

"Hey! Charlie Brown is still on!" the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent exclaimed.

"_It's a Massacre Charlie Brown_?!?!?! That one's my favorite!" the Cap-a-be said.

"Mine too." A familiar gravelly voice said from behind.

"Holy crap!" the trio shouted.

"Damn right!" Deadpool said as he pulled out his katanas and guns. "NOW GIVE BACK MY FUCKING CANDY!!!! IT'S MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!!!" he whined.

"Okay okay!" the guys said and tossed him the buckets.

"Yay!" Deadpool said giddily and ran out the door.

"That dude's nuts..." the Sith Lord said.

Deadpool ran back in.

"I WAS ONLY KIDDING!!" the Sith Lord put up his hands in innocence.

"Kidding about what?" Deadpool asked, the Sith Lord said nothing.

"Anyway..." Deadpool continued, "You're sister's hot, whichever one it is who's living with your sister." And then he left again.

The Cap-A-Be's eyes widened, "Mom?!"

Right on cue his mother walked out with a cigarette in her mouth, "Haven't had this much fun on Halloween since you were born Eugene." She said and took a water bottle. "It was nice visiting you sweetheart!" and she left.

"If my mom wasn't a slut before hand I might be more shocked..." the Cap-a-like really named Eugene said.

"Hey, you guys..." the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent waved his hand for them to come over to the hallway.

"What? Did he have sex with _my _mom too?" the Sith Lord asked.

"No, look!" He grabbed their buckets of candy that were left next to the door. "He let us keep these."

"Oh...wow..." Eugene said.

"For a guy who breaks and enters...he's kinda...not _that_ bad..." the Sith Lord said.

"Well what're we waiting for?" the Cap-a-be said, "Let's eat candy!!"

* * *

"Filled with laxative." Deadpool said as he, Weasel, and Bob enjoyed watching the R Rated Charlie Brown special while eating their enemy's candies.

"Cool." Bob said.

"The best Halloween, this is." Weasel said in his best Yoda voice.

"And do you know what the lesson is?" Deadpool asked.

No one answered; Deadpool smiled and finished chewing,

"You don't mess with the Dead Man!!"

* * *

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Any Last Thoughts?**

*sighs* Well isn't that heartwarming? lol

But its true, you don't piss off Wade, not if you wanna crap your pants for three weeks straight.

**Deadpool: Damn effing straight!**

Mm-hm -Oh right! One last order of business-

**Deadpool:** **Endeavors!!!**

No, Wade, not with _this_ story. I will be premiering (using the term loosely here) my newest story, a Reaper fanfic. For those of you who don't know, to Youtube! Search 'Reaper Episodes' and you should find both seasons on there. Since it was canceled I've taken it upon myself to continue the series in my own fashion, the way only _I _can.

I hope you guys can check it out, it'd mean a lot. And don't forget to review this chapter too!

I hope you liked my Halloween treat to all of you guys!

Have Happy and Hell-thy Halloween!

_MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!_

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac That Wishes You An Awesome Halloween

_**Fire

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	18. Unlike Weed, We’re Legal Now! Sorta

**Forethoughts:**

Ta-da!

I'm back everyone!

And it's Thanksgiving! Hurrah!

Anywho, it's been a long arduous [insert however long it's been since I've updated] but its kind of hard when you can't come up with a decent story for Reaper!!! Grrr...stupid writer's block!!

Side Note That Has Nothing To Do With Anything: I'm reordered the words that form my name because I just _barely_ realized that RedFireDivine is grammatically INCORRECT...somehow, so now its DivineRedFire. It'll take some time to get used to because I won't care much, but I'll get used to it...I guess. I don't know. BTW, who likes the new avatar? Eh? Eh? Any Blondie fans out there? No? Screw you!!

Okay, here's another excuse for my lateness, I've been working on my novel, Youngblood, which I shall start posting on FictionPress very soon if I haven't already.

Fake Summary: _If you like vampires, if you like action, if you like vampires that don't sparkle, and if you like my writings, then this is the story for you, most definitely!_

_So please check it out and realize that it's quite hard writing a million things at once._

_But please, check it out._

_For the children?_

_*puppy dog eyes of death and pitifulness!!*_

_Thank you!_

And now, enjoy chapter 18 because I'm pretty sure that the holidays won't be leaving much time to write. DX *cries*

-_**Fire

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**Disclaimer:**

I'm thankful for this fanfic finally being legal and canon in the continuity for both universes after saving up and buying the rights to Deadpool and the Teen Titans!!! ^_^

lol Just kidding, if I did I'd be dead.

I would've been lynched by the handful of Marvel and DC fans that aren't glued to their computers.

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Business Endeavors**

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**Chapter 18: Unlike** **Weed, We're Legal Now!! Sorta...

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"_Spectacular, spectacular Spider-Man!_" the radio blared.

Deadpool sighed and finished drinking the last drop of beer left in the can. His drinking game with Robot Chicken had ended so he went on to taking a swig every time he heard the words _spectacular, amazing, friendly, neighborhood, _and _Spider-Man_ on the radio.

If it wasn't for his healing factor he would've probably been totally hammered by now, but _alas_, he was only a little tingly.

"Sucks don't it?" he said to his shoulder angel or devil, whichever one wasn't maimed.

"Yeaaaaah, sure." He said under his breath and finally started paying attention to the road, he pulled down the visor so as to cover his eyes from the mid morning sun.

"_And that was __**Tender Box**__ with their smash hit, 'The Spectacular Spider-Man!'_" the DJ said over the radio, he pressed a button that made a _boing_ sound. "_Uh-oh! Bounce back! You know what that means_..._**repeat**__!!!_" he screamed and replayed the song.

"When the hell is the _Dead Song_ gonna start playing?!" Wade whined, "_Duna-nuna-nuna-nuna Deadpool! Duna-nuna-nuna-nuna Deadpool!!! __Deadpool! DEADPOOL!!!!!_" he sang like a mangled cat and then sighed, he already knew the answer to his random and rhetorical question.

"I'm starting to think that drinking brings sorrow...or is it the lack of beer that brings sorrow? It's probably the lack of beer. I'm going with that." He said and screeched to a halt to stop at the liquor store he just passed. He jumped out of the car and ran to the liquor store. "I'm not addicted! I just need it is all!!" he screamed to himself.

He was just about to shoot the door open when his tracking device displayer started beeping. His eyes widened and he jumped back into his car to try and find where he left the damnable device.

"Son of a bitch!!!" he seethed as he looked under the cushions, the seats, the wheels, and the beets.

He searched left and right, high and low, but eventually wallowed in woe.

But he got back up again, and got out his kerplunka, his tracking device _device_ displayer, and his badunkadunka- oh wait.

"EUREKA!!" he shouted and lifted the displayer of the tracking device displayer above his head. "Good thing I had that tracking device installed into the tracking device displayer." He said as he turned it on. The displayer displayed, like it was made to do, and showed that the device was...

Deadpool slapped his head, "Well I feel so gosh darn silly! It was in my back pocket all along!" he chuckled and checked the regular displayer, "Sorta makes the Dr. Seuss wannabe paragraph unnecessary now...as it was in the first place." He jumped back into the driver's seat and followed the beeping.

"North my pretties!! To Fantasy Islan- er, Forest Hills!!!" he cackled just as someone zoomed passed him. "Hey jerk! How dare you try and go around me when I'm in the middle of the road! Do you know how rude that is!??!" he screamed at the fading car. He ignored it and followed the blinking dot.

* * *

The Titans hoped beyond hope that Batman hadn't seen them as they slowly began to retreat.

Batman walked up to them.

They stopped in their tracks as they lost all hope of not having to be confronted by the Dark Knight.

He stood in front of them with his cape hanging past his shoulders and his eyes shrunk with scrutiny. He looked at each of them before he opened his mouth to speak.

"IT WAS BEAST BOY! HE'S THE ONE YOU WANT!!" Cyborg screamed and pushed the green changeling in front of him as he and Starfire cowered behind his small frame.

Beast Boy, even while deaf, knew what Cyborg had said and turned into an octopus and squirmed out of Cyborg's grip. He tried his best to suction cup his way behind the others at lightning speed...for an octopus on land that is, which is pretty damn slow in comparison to, oh, let's say a _snail_, what with the lack of water and all.

He passed out before he even reached the back.

"Quick! Get him while he's down!!" Cyborg shouted to Batman.

Raven finally slapped him and moved in front. Her shadow covered eyes met the white stern eyes of Batman.

"Ignore him, he's an idiot." She said finally.

"Which one?" Batman asked rhetorically, knowing full well that _both _the boys were idiots. He didn't have to be the World's Greatest Detective to know that.

"My name is Raven. Is there something you-?" Raven was interrupted by Batman's quick answer in the form of a question.

"Why did you hack into the Watchtower?" he said with an accusing tone, effectively giving all four of the Titans heart attacks.

By force of habit Cyborg screamed and pushed Beast Boy in front of Batman, "IT WAS BEAST BOY! HE'S THE ONE YOU- _AGH_!!"

Beast Boy turned back into an octopus and attacked Cyborg by coiling himself around his face.

Raven tried her best to ignore the dunce buckets and cleared her throat to answer Batman, whose expression hadn't changed, though she was sure that he was holding back the immense urge to throw both of them over the edge of the Tower.

"Cyborg-" Raven started but was interrupted by Cyborg's muffled voiced.

"_Traitor!_" he shouted as Beast Boy continued to try and squeeze the air out of him.

"_Cyborg_ hacked into the Watchtower to try and find information on a new psycho who recently came to the city. We didn't know anything about him and when he-" Raven stopped abruptly, wondering how Batman would handle the news.

Batman's eyes narrowed and their heart attacks came roaring back like a supernova.

They each looked at each other, wondering whether or not they should justify their actions with such horrible news.

"He...He kidnapped Robin." Starfire finally got out, "A-And we required _any _information gathered on him to bring Robin back! We...we, uh..."

"W-We _had_ to." Raven stuttered.

Batman's expression stayed the same.

'_Did he get Botox recently or_..._?_' Raven's thoughts trailed off.

"I _know_ he was kidnapped." Batman said evenly.

The Titan's eyes- minus Beast Boy- widened in horror and they tried their hardest to keep their jaws in place.

Those times Robin had said Batman was heartless _were_ true.

"But that doesn't explain why you didn't just ask us if we knew about Deadpool." another voice came from behind, one that wasn't as gruff or coarse as Batman's but still had as much disappointment evident.

They turned around to see Superman touching down on the roof of the Tower. He was covered almost head to toe in soot and ash. Had he not been invincible he surely would have had third degree burns.

Cyborg pried Beast Boy off just in time- and with enough dignity intact- to answer truthfully, "We didn't want you guys coming to take over..." said like a child who learned his lesson but continued on when he saw the expression on Superman's face,

"But you probably are gonna take over...right now..._aren't you?_" he said glumly and all the Titans looked down, except Beast Boy, but he caught on after a while.

"You're right; we _are_ taking this search over." Batman said, causing them to hang their heads lower so as to not look at him directly, not because of shame.

It was like staring at the sun, Batman could burn your retinas if he ever really wanted to through sheer will alone.

Or he could just punch you in the face, whichever he preferred.

"But...how do _you_ know the name of the mercenary who kidnapped Robin?" Starfire asked, "And of his kidnapping in general?"

"The police captain told us when we arrived on the scene of the double bombing, which is another reason why we're taking over." Superman said.

He and Batman crossed their arms and he continued. "There's no reason you couldn't just have come to ask us for information and there's _no_ _excuse_ you could possibly use to leave a scene of a crime; of devastation and destruction."

Superman didn't stop and went on with increasing disappointment in his voice, "Yes we have to find Robin but that doesn't mean you stop being heroes for a second to save him. We wouldn't have to take over if you had proven yourselves to be more understanding of the situation and the problems going on around it."

Although each of the Titans- who could hear- doubted highly in their minds that the search wouldn't have been taken over had they asked in the first place, they still felt enormous guilt build up in their chests.

They momentarily wondered if that was another one of Superman's powers or if that was just a power _all_ grown ups seemed to possess.

"In any case." the Martian Manhunter phased up through the ceiling and onto the roof.

Cyborg rolled his eyes, who _wasn't_ here?

"You should have realized the first time you hacked in that none of the League members know about any mercenary named Deadpool."

Cyborg rolled his eyes again at the comment. '_Well duh we knew- wait, did he say __**first**__** time**__?_'

"Did you say _first time_?" he asked just as he thought it.

"Yes." Batman scowled, "I'm surprised you tried hacking in even _once_."

"I only went in once." Cyborg said and lifted up his hands in innocence, "I swear."

Superman, Batman, and the Martian Manhunter glanced over at each other before looking back at the Titans.

"Our records show otherwise." Batman said and they crossed their arms.

'_So __**that's**__ how you intimidate someone!_' Cyborg thought and committed the look to his memory after getting over the fear of looking at Batman directly.

"Our records say that signal sent to the Watchtower at 3:23 AM came from _your_ tower." J'onn said.

"We were out looking for Robin at 3 AM!" Cyborg went on defense, "We were following that...uh, _l-lead!_" He said. He was fairly sure that they didn't know that Robin had caused at least _one_ of the explosions nor that he was seriously wounded as the cops didn't know that either.

"There was no way any of us could've hacked into the Watchtower at that time, we were in the forest following Robin's trail." Raven said.

"We couldn't have possibly done it." Cyborg added.

The three elder heroes gave each other quick glances. It was at times like these they were glad J'onn had telepathy; it made conversing far easier and much more discreet, though, it left the speakers momentarily dizzy, but they were strong enough not to show it.

"What if you were hacked and the Tower was used as a piggy back to get the signal to the Watchtower?" Batman mused.

Cyborg tried not to smugly chuckle at his comment, "Look, I'm not trying to say you defense grid is worse than ours or anything, but uh, the Tower wasn't hacked, I would've known." He said with a broad grin on his face.

"I just hacked in a few minutes ago to bring your communications back online." The Martian Manhunter said, bringing Cyborg's broad smile in a humble and embarrassed frown.

"That explains it..." Raven said quietly.

"But who would be capable of doing such a thing or even want to?" Starfire asked.

Cyborg's eyes widened from his frown and his expression turned into a scowl. His hand clenched into a fist and he growled, "That little..._Weasel!!_"

* * *

"Oh wow, this is the first time we've ever played a song fifty times in a row! And which song is it? It's '_The Spectacular Spider-Man!!!_' Is anyone else up for another round?" the DJ asked and sipped his '_Irish coffee_.'

He put a caller on the air; he had a distinct and familiar gravelly quality to his voice. "And who's ol' DJ Raph talking to right now, good sir?" the DJ asked.

"_No way! I'm on?! Seriously?!?!_" the caller screamed.

"Yeah man, what's on your mind, you likin' the new Tender Box?" he asked and fiddled around with his pencil, wondering what sound effect to use next.

"_Uh, actually, it's kinda annoying after a bajillion times. I mean, no song is good after being repeated that many times...except maybe Weezer's 'Buddy Holly,' but not this one_. _This one is not exempt_. _Sorry man_." The caller explained.

"I'll give ya the Buddy Holly thing, the other part of what you said is deserving of...**Raph's** **Wrath**!!!" the DJ screamed and pushed a button that played a female horror movie scream and pushed another button that had a man chuckling in a deep low voice.

"_Yeah_? _Well you've just earned the wrath of the __**almighty**__ DEADPOOL, BITCH!_" he hung up and jumped through the window of the booth, effectively scaring the bejeezus out of Raph.

Deadpool casually walked over and pushed Raph off of his chair, sat down in it and put his feet on the table. He adjusted the headphones and microphone and brought out a different CD to play.

"Hey there everyone, this is DJ Dead Man successfully ending Raph's Rein of Retardedness." He said and put on the new CD while Raph scampered out of the booth, "From now on, we'll be playing songs with such a thing known as _moderation!_ First song up in _my_ reign of terror is by _A Flying Tomato_; gotta love that name!" Deadpool sipped the beer can only to realize it was empty.

He frowned.

* * *

Deadpool blinked wildly and realized he had gone off tangent into an awesome day dream.

"Damn it!" he hissed and found his way to Forest Hills. "Finally! Now I can end DJ Raph's Regime of Ridiculousness!!" he paused for a moment, "..._waaaait_ _minute_..._that's not right...is it? No...waaaait...no...?_" he pondered this for about three hours.

* * *

Dixon gawked as he saw Wonder Woman lift a support beam over her head and toss it to the side carelessly as if it were a toy. It never ceased to amaze him how super superheroes could be.

An EM called his name and he rushed over with the ear medicine he was carrying.

Although the explosions hadn't seriously hurt anyone, it did cause a few scratches from the falling debris and messed up a lot of people's hearing in the surrounding blocks.

"Thank you, officer." The EM said. Dixon nodded and stood around for a bit, wondering what to do. He saw Ramirez and Harrison talking near their car and decided to walk over to them. The least he could do was talk to _someone_ about what was going on, and that person sure as hell wasn't Jackson.

"Robertson doesn't look too glad." Harrison said. It was probably _the_ biggest understatement in history.

"Gee, ya _think_, Dalgo?" Ramirez asked sarcastically as she leaned against the squad car.

"Okay, maybe not the smartest thing I've said but still, it's true. He's pretty pissed about Deadpool." Harrison said. "First he kidnaps one of the Titans and- Hey Conner- now he blows up a parking lot and a boutique for no reason."

Dixon nodded in response and gave his input, "I hear ya, Dalgo, but didn't you get the feeling that the Titans were holding something back when they were telling us they were trying to chase Deadpool?"

"I know what you mean." Ramirez said, "Well, sure, _I'd_ be in a hurry too if the maniac who kidnapped my friend had just run past but...it feels like we're missing something."

There was silence between the three as they contemplated what could've happened.

"You think he killed him?" Harrison asked in a low voice.

Ramirez and Dixon shot him a look, as though his question were taboo.

"Not so loud, you retard!" Ramirez hissed.

"_Fine fine_." Harrison whispered, "_But do you?_"

"_Well, it _would_ explain why the Titans were trying to hide something_._ I mean, anyone can dress up as a superhero_._ For all we know they've all probably died at least once and when we think they come back from the dead they're actually just a different person in a costume_." Dixon contemplated. "_Maybe we're watching the fourth Superman saving people_."

Ramirez rolled her eyes, "_Are you kidding? How could you possibly duplicate powers like that? Well, sure maybe Robin or Batman have died a few times, they don't have any powers, I think_._ All you really need is someone who's a good acrobat and really hard to take down in a fight_."

"_Yeah, but still, maybe they __**were**__ trying to hide the fact that he's dead_." Harrison said.

"_I don't really wanna say anything for sure, I mean, he was just a kid, probably just a few years older than my little brother_. _That and I've seen him fight bigger uglier maniacs than Deadpool almost every week and I'm pretty sure he didn't die those times_." Dixon said, "_But_..._well_..._there's always __**maybe**_."

"_Yup_." Harrison sighed and let his head fall back onto the hood of the car as his eyes shut, trying to keep the rays of a breaking dawn sun from hitting his eyes.

"_I __**hope**__ he's not dead_." Ramirez said under her breath.

"What are you three doing?" Jackson's voice rumbled.

"Working." Harrison said as the three lounging cops quickly dispersed and went about their different ways.

"I thought so." Jackson crossed his arms.

* * *

"_Cliff, I don't think he should be here_." an elderly woman's voice said from afar.

"_Rosie, I know you're afraid but does he really look that dangerous to you?_" Cliff asked quietly.

He heard Rosie sigh.

He was fairly sure they were in another room but he was too tired to even open his eyes or groan. He decided to keep quiet.

"_You're lucky I trust you, Cliff_." Rosie said jokingly and he heard her pour something, probably a coffee.

He heard Cliff chuckle and then step into the room he was in.

* * *

Cliff quieted himself and signaled for Rosie to do the same. They both walked in quietly to see the poor boy they'd found huddled in their steel cold trunk.

Rosie had bandaged him up and tried her best to keep his wound from bleeding more so than it probably had, while Cliff looked up in their attic for some of Tobey's old clothes.

The boy's eyes slowly opened, two white slits for eyes, but that was only because of the mask. They had figured he might've wanted the mask on, but they made sure to hide the weapons they found in his pockets.

He slowly turned his head to see the old couple staring at him with curiosity and just a little bit of fear and anticipation in their warm, aged eyes.

"Hey there. How're you feeling?" Cliff asked quietly as he sat down on the coffee table.

The boy didn't even groan as he tried to sit up. Rosie hesitantly went over to help him and fixed the pillows on the couch so he could sit up.

The boy opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.

"Are you alright, kid?" Cliff asked. Rosie quickly put a hand on his shoulders in fear but he put a hand on hers to calm her down.

The boy finally answered, albeit hoarsely and as quiet as a whisper, "_I-I'm fine_..."

Rosie approached him with a cup in her hands, "You must have lost a lot of fluids because of that nasty wound." She said shakily, "You should eat or drink something."

The boy looked into the cup.

Hot chocolate.

He couldn't even remember the last time he had had chocolate.

Or anything at all.

His eyes blinked wildly and he finally let out a hoarse groan. He clutched his head as he desperately tried to remember _something_ but to no avail.

"Is there something wrong?" Cliff asked and he put a hand on the boy's shoulder.

The boy slowly shook his head but didn't look up from his hands.

"Do you wanna talk about what happened?" Cliff asked in a deep, calming voice.

The boy peeked up to see Cliff's warm expression, "_I don't remember what happened_." He said quietly.

Cliff squinted and he understood, "Well, you did pretty beat up when we saw you."

Instinctively the boy reached for the wound in his stomach. Cliff shook his head.

"You were bleeding pretty bad." He inspected the boy, "And you look a nasty pale." He picked up the cup filled with hot chocolate.

The boy slowly took the cup from his hand and sipped it.

It didn't _taste_ poisonous.

He took another sip and Cliff smiled and relaxed a bit more. At least the boy wouldn't die now.

"My name is Cliff Robertson and this is my wife, Rosemary. Is there a name we can call you?" he asked, choosing his words carefully.

The boy looked down as he took another sip. His eyes squinted and the silence made the Robertson's hearts skip a bit, maybe more.

But when he finally answered all three felt a giant knot forming in their stomachs.

"I don't know."

* * *

Night comes quickly when you spend your afternoon wondering what you were going to do in the first place.

"_Knock knock_!" Deadpool said in a sing songy voice.

Just like all the other times, someone opened the door, screamed, and would then try to slam the door shut only to find out that he had put his foot in the way. He would bring out a cropped picture he had of Petey and point at the picture with his gun because he threw the pointer out the window and his finger wasn't _nearly_ long enough to point!

"Have you seen this boy? His name is Peter Pan. He was kidnapped from a Tea Tower, ran away from the abusive home he was taken to, and ran away when he saw me. Have you seen him?" Deadpool asked, earning another scream from the resident.

"Okay, I'm gonna level with you, his real name is...well, I forgot his real name, but _have you seen him_, dammit?" he asked.

"No! No I haven't! Please! Just don't hurt my family!!" the woman screamed and cried.

"Now why would I want to hurt someone when I'm trying to get information on the whereabouts of another individual?" Deadpool asked and walked away as the woman clutched her family.

"Mommy are we gonna die?" her son asked her.

"Yes, honey." The woman cried, "Now go watch TV while mommy gets some cyanide pills..."

"SWEET!!!" the boy and his siblings ran towards the living room as the woman shut the door and locked it.

"Okay..." Deadpool pulled out a map he had of Forest Hills and crossed out the house he had just gone into. "..._not _this house. Next!!" he shouted and walked over to the neighbor's house.

"_Knock knock!_" Deadpool called out as he knocked on the door and rang the doorbell like an ADD ridden child. The door opened and a dog tackled him. Deadpool looked up to see the owner holding up a shotgun.

"Joey da snitch ain't livin' here no more, now get outta here!" he said in a nasally Brooklyn accent.

"Well, that's good to know, but have you seen this kid?" Deadpool pulled out the picture and stuck it in front of the man's face.

"Nah, I haven't, now get out!" the man said and he cocked his gun.

"Fine!" Deadpool walked and he crossed out the house on his map and walked over to the neighbor's house of the jerk that had pulled a gun on him.

"_Knock knock!_" Deadpool called out.

* * *

"What do you mean, you don't know?" Cliff asked.

"I-I don't know my name." the boy admitted. "I don't remember..."

Rosie turned to look at Cliff who both reflected worry in their eyes.

"Do you remember _anything_?" Cliff asked.

The boy shook his head, "Just sounds really, but...nothing important. I mean, I remember stuff like this, words and places and other junk."

"That happened to a cousin of mine." Rosie started, "She had fallen off of a horse and hit her head. Afterward, she could recite the state capitals but she didn't even remember the name of her brother. The doctors said she had a form of amnesia, _Jamais Vu_, where you remember things but not yourself."

"That sounds about right." He said, remembering that Kansas City was the capital of Kansas.

No wait, Topeka!

Definitely Topeka.

He shrugged in his mind. Anyone could have gotten that wrong.

"Did she ever remember?" he asked.

"Of course she did. One day she saw Gone With The Wind, which had been her favorite movie since she was seven, and everything came back to her in an instant and this was only a few days after she hit her head. The doctors said that amnesia could be permanent or someone could remember everything but in most cases people remembered after a while. It's all a matter of evoking emotions."

He hoped that was true. Not knowing his name was really annoying, not to mention unnerving. He looked down at his hands and took off the thing he felt on his eyes, a mask. He squinted and wondered where the hell he got that from.

Rosemary smiled when she saw his deep blue eyes; he seemed far less menacing without the mask.

She wondered if this was how Cliff saw him even with the mask. He always had this thing about seeing the best in people, being a good judge of character. The phrase, _never judge a book by its cover_, didn't apply to him; he could already read the words.

"You can stay here as long as you'd like." Cliff said, putting a hand on the boy's shoulder. He relaxed a bit.

He _did_ feel safe here but...something just felt wrong. He had a stab wound and he was pretty sure someone was after him, he wasn't sure if they knew what he looked like under the mask but he still felt as though he would be endangering them by being here.

Rosie's head jerked up and she sniffed an alluring scent air in the air. She smiled, "Dinner's done."

Oh, he was _definitely _staying!

Cliff saw a smile spread across the boy's face and he returned it. "You think you can stand up or do you want eat in here?" he asked.

The boy quickly adjusted himself and put his feet on the floor. He stood up along side Cliff who was just a few inches taller than he.

He slowly moved a foot forward and felt fine, unless you counted the sting of the wound in his stomach, but that wasn't his foot so he was fine.

He walked over to the kitchen as though he had never been stabbed or gotten amnesia.

There was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it." Cliff said as Rosie rinsed some plates.

Cliff went over to the door and opened it.

And immediately regretted it.

"'Scuze me mister, but I'm wondering. Are you unhappy with your faith? Do strive for...other stuff? If so, could you tell me where this kid is and maybe buy a few Girl Scout cookies?" Deadpool asked and showed him the cropped picture he had been showing everyone.

Cliff swallowed hard; he had no idea what to say.

Deadpool looked at him curiously and then rolled his eye under his mask, "Oh, don't look so shocked..." Deadpool said, ignoring the look on Cliff's face, "Now, _have you _seen this boy?" he shoved the picture back in Cliff's face.

"I...I'm afraid not." He lied.

Deadpool's head tilted to one side and he stood silently for a second as he contemplated the answer.

"_Analyzing_._ Analyzing_. _Analyz- no thought has been processed in over three seconds_. _Initiating random pop culture referenc- ERROR! ERROR! Pop culture reference not found!! Repeat: Pop culture reference not found!! All hands to the escape pods!! Commence escape plan Alpha Centauri! Initiate colonization process of the outer worl-! Analyzing scan complete! Answer is a lie! Kill that mother effer!_' he thought.

Seriously, that's what he thought.

I swear.

"I'm afraid I don't believe that, sir." Deadpool said before realizing that the door had long since been shut and locked and the only things listening to him were the crickets.

_Maybe_ God.

"Damn it!" he shouted under his breath.

* * *

**Holiday Specials**

**

* * *

**

**Special #2: A Titanic Thanksgiving...I Guess...

* * *

**

Twas a long time ago, in a galaxy equally far away.

No, not Marvel. That's not until New Year's.

Twas in the DCU! More accurately, the *FFDCU or *FFDCAU.

Cyborg hummed something as he pulled out turkey guts.

Thank God for Microsoft Turkey Simulator.

Beast Boy covered his mouth and turned greener than usual as he saw Cyborg pull more turkey innards out of the dead bird.

"Hey!" Cyborg said as he saw Beast Boy head for the trashcan, "Be glad _I'm _cooking a traditional EARTH thanksgiving meal, not some Tamaranian dish Starfire put together out of mushrooms and soap- oh hey Starfire!" Cyborg quickly changed his disposition as she walked in.

"Hello Cyborg, is the turkey of Giving Thanks prepared yet?" she asked.

"Not yet, it's gonna be a couple of hours before this guy's even golden brown." Cyborg said and lifted it up to show her just a Beast Boy brought his head back up. Immediately he ducked down again and started throwing up some more.

"_Will you at least make a tofu turkey?_" Beast Boy asked from inside the trashcan...or Narinia.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, TOFU AIN'T TOUCHING MY COUNTER!!!" Cyborg shouted with an oversized head causing Starfire to back away and go see what Raven or Robin were doing.

"YOU CAN PREPARE IT ON A PLATE!!!" Beast Boy shouted as she left.

"THAT'S _ON_ **MY** COUNTER!!!!!!!"

* * *

Starfire floated over to Raven's room, half expecting her to let her in, half not.

She knocked softly just as Raven opened the door, causing to accidentally knock on Raven's skull.

It took a while for Starfire or even Raven to really process the fact that Starfire had knocked on Raven's skull.

Starfire pulled her hand away and smiled sheepishly, "Forgive me but I was just curious about what you would be doing." Her smile grew bigger in an attempt to get Raven to stop scowling.

Raven rubbed her forehead, "I was just a little tired of the silence so I'm gonna go read in the Living Room. See how that works out."

"Uh, I must object to doing that. Cyborg and Beast Boy are fighting over the turkey of Giving Thanks again." Starfire said just as the sound of an elephant's trumpet sounded through and Cyborg went crashing through the door with turkey guts all over his face.

"Ugh! Why?!?!!" he shouted and charged back.

"Never mind." Raven said and walked back into her room, closing the door behind her.

Starfire was still a bit surprised from Cyborg's crashing through the door to notice that Raven had closed the door but eventually did and decided to go see what Robin was doing.

* * *

She waited a moment before knocking, not wanting to hit his head as she had accidentally done with Raven.

No response.

"Robin?" Starfire asked.

No answer.

She heard Robin struggling with something inside his room and her eyes widened. She forced the door open to see what was going on but before she could see anything he jumped into the closet and shut it tight.

"Robin?" she asked in surprise. "What are you doing in your closet?"

"Uh...I uh, I...uh..." he made a mental note to get better at making up lies quickly, at least on par with the Grinch, "I...I am...I'm in the closet because...I...uh..." he stuttered as he quickly tried to take off his civilian clothes so as to put on his Robin suit.

"You are what, Robin?" Starfire asked.

"I...I-I'll tell you in the Living Room!" Robin said quickly, hoping that he could come up with a lie with _some_ time on his hands, "Uh, you go ahead and go on without me, just let me find my pants..."

Starfire's eyes widened.

"Ignore that!!" Robin said quickly as she left with an extremely puzzled look on her face.

* * *

Starfire warily walked into the Living Room.

Upon not hearing any signs of fighting she figured that either they had stopped fighting or one had been killed by the other.

But then she saw Beast Boy and Cyborg choking each other.

All was well.

"Hey Star." Cyborg said as the intestinal cords they had been using to choke the other snapped.

"What's going on?" Beast Boy asked.

"Robin told me to wait here." she said.

Beast Boy and Cyborg looked at each other and then tilted their heads at her, "Why?" they asked together.

"Because he is coming out of the closet." She said.

For a moment Cyborg and Beast Boy's expressions blanked before their cheeks tinged into a bright cherry shade and their lungs exploded as they fell on the floor laughing even as turkey guts covered their bodies.

"HE'S WHAT?!!?!" Cyborg shouted in between gasping laughs.

"I KNEW IT!!!" Beast Boy replied and tried his best to get a grip on the counter so he could stand up.

"THOSE TIGHTS WEREN'T FOR NOTHING!!!" Cyborg shouted just as Raven walked in to see what was going on.

She found Starfire staring blankly at the raucously laughing forms of Beast Boy and Cyborg.

"What's going on?" she asked and crossed her arms.

Cyborg inhaled a few breaths before calming down enough to answer; his face was red, "Rob...-_hehe_!!- Robin's...oh boy, he's uh-_heheheHAHAHAHA_!!!- He uh..._hehehe_- he's coming...-_HAHAHAHA_!!" he fell over on his back to laugh some more.

"What? What's Robin doing?" Raven said.

Surprisingly, it was Beast Boy who finally controlled himself enough to tell her. "Robin..._heehee_! Robin's coming out of the CLOSET!!!!" he shouted and laughed on the floor again.

Just as Beast Boy and Cyborg had, Raven stood blankly before her cheeks turned bright red, a small smile spread across her face, "Uh..." she tried her hardest not to laugh and eventually, she actually gained enough control to lose the red from her face.

"Well...uh, good..." she said, "Good for him." She inhaled and tried not to laugh as she seated herself on the couch and covered her face with a pillow so she could muffle the sounds of faint laughter.

Robin walked and immediately the sounds of laughter died down into a serious tone as Beast Boy and Cyborg who were covered in turkey guts walked up and they each laid a sympathetic hand on either of his shoulders.

"Dude..." Beast Boy started.

"...we just want you to know that..." Cyborg continued for him.

"...it doesn't matter _what _you are..."

"...or what your sexual orientation may be." Cyborg said.

At this point Robin's face was turning red as a confused expression found its way to the surface.

"We want you to remember that..." Beast Boy started again and put a hand on his heart as Cyborg finished for him,

"...I don't swing that way, so don't go dreaming up anything because it's never gonna happen. Sorry man." Cyborg said and hugged Robin who began choking at the smell of turkey guts.

Robin pushed him off, red with rage and embarrassment. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!?!!!?!!??!?!?!" he screamed.

"Dude, Starfire told us what happened." Beast Boy said, "We know, man, we know." he said, patting Robin on the back.

Robin pulled Beast Boy's arm off of him.

"Hey, we said we accepted you, no matter what you are. And even if you haven't admitted it yet, the tell-tale signs are there." Cyborg said.

"The tights." Beast Boy said.

"The fashion sense." Cyborg added.

"The fact that you've never even hit on any of the girls." Beast Boy said quietly and pointed at Starfire and Raven.

"The way you're so religious about keeping your hair up to date in the latest styles." Cyborg continued. "Not to mention Roy's phone number in that email he sent you."

Robin quickly crossed his arms.

"Is it my fault I filter out all the spam?" Cyborg said, "It looked like it, didn't know it was an actual email. That guy can't write for shi-!"

"I'm not gay!!" Robin shouted.

"Oh come on man, there's nothing wrong with it!" Beast Boy said.

"No, seriously, I'm not. Why would you even think tha-Wait wait wait!!!! Don't answer that!!!" he shouted before they listed their reasons again.

Beast Boy and Cyborg quieted down.

"I'm not...I'm not, alright?!" he shouted, "Geez, I know there's nothing wrong with that but I'm not." He said, trying not to offend anyone.

"Okay then." Beast Boy said, "But you will you at least admit you're metrosexual-?"

"HELL NO!" Robin shouted again and seethed. "Not that there's anything wrong with any of that!" he said.

"Anyway..." Raven said, trying to take away the tension.

Robin sighed and remembered why he came. "Okay look, I'm gonna have to leave again for a few days- I know, I know, I'm sorry but I got a new lead on some mob boss trying to move in here and I'm gonna have to go undercover for a few days. Maybe I'll be back earlier." He lied.

"I still do not understand why we cannot go with you." Starfire said.

This wasn't the first time he had to leave...

*

_...FLASHBACK obviously..._

*

Robin popped his head into the Living Room, hiding the duffel bag behind the door, "_My grandma died and I'm very saddened and I have to leave for like the funeral or whatever 'kay thanks bye!_" he left before any of them realized what happened.

*

Cyborg worked on the T-Car, intent on installing the flux capacitor.

"_Dealing with depression won't be out of my room for weeks don't try and comfort me 'kay thanks bye!_" Robin shouted.

Cyborg hit his head on the hood as he tried to look up but the hood only came crashing down and crushed him.

*

Raven mediated in the Living Room as Robin popped in again, causing her to fall as he spoke at lightning speed.

"_Harry Potter and the Mystery of Fire Island is coming out gotta go wait in line 'kay thanks bye!_"

*

Starfire brushed her hair as she got ready for bed just as Robin poked his head to speak.

"_Got a ticket to see my favorite rock band two cities over I'll probably be passed out in a ditch don't try and look for me I'll find my way back 'kay thanks bye!"_

*

Beast Boy was turned into a cougar and he readied himself to pounce on an overgrown, black, sludge looking bacterium that had become sentient and was now trying to kill him.

"_Grandma died I'm dealing with a lot of issues right now and other angsty stuff and whatever 'kay thanks bye!_" he shouted as Beast Boy reached out to him.

"No wait! Robin! Dude, help! It's trying to kill me!!" Beast Boy shouted as the bacterium jumped on him and attempted to choke him.

*

..._PRESENT DAY...or maybe not, I'm not quite sure because its not stated...  
_

*

"_So that's _why you guys were being mind controlled by black sludge when I got back..." Robin stroked his chin as the pieces fell into place.

"Look, we just wanna know why you always leave around Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, April, and May." Beast Boy said.

Robin crossed his arms.

"Look, just tell us why. Is it family? You can just say its family." Cyborg said.

"Yes its family." Robin said and stood quietly and the silence shot through all of them like bad lasagna.

"So..." Beast Boy started and he rocked on his heels as he tried to cut the tension, "Who's your family?"

Robin didn't answer.

He was the only one with a secret identity that he could fully separate from his super heroic life and it sometimes made it hard. He sighed and it only served to add to the tension.

"Okay then, so are we gonna make this tofu turkey or what?" Beast Boy asked and Cyborg immediately tackled him.

"NO TOFU'S TOUCHIN' MY COUNTER!!!!!!" He shouted and shook Beast Boy violently.

Robin thought for a minute and he figured, what the hey, all the other heroes know who he is and he barely knows who they are. He rolled his eyes spoke, "You mean Bruce Wayne's counters, don't you Cyborg?"

"AINT NO TOFU GONNA TOUCH BRUCE WAYNE'S COUNTERS OR WHATEV- HEY WAIT _WHAT_?!!?!" Cyborg shouted and the others turned to him.

Robin inhaled and he took off his mask.

Their mouths gaped.

"Dude..." Beast Boy started, "I have no idea who you are!"

Robin- err, RICHARD GRAYSON squinted his eyes at Beast Boy but was sort of glad that he actually wasn't that well known.

"My real name's Richard Grayson and I'm Bruce Wayne's ward." He admitted.

"Wait wait wait." Cyborg started, "So if you're Robin and your dad's Bruce Wayne-"

"Guardian, he's my guardian, not dad." Dick replied quickly.

"Yeah, whatever." Cyborg brushed it off, "So this means...HE'S BATMAN!?!"

Dick shrugged. He hadn't revealed Bruce's identity to anyone, so Bruce couldn't blame them for figuring it out for themselves.

"So...we may call you by your real name?" Starfire asked.

"Sure, I guess." Dick shrugged.

"Alright then, _Richard_." Starfire said.

"Hey, isn't the shortened form of your name Di-?"

"Shut up Beast Boy." Di-err, Richard squinted.

"Just wondering...'cause it's _really_ funny." Beast Boy said.

Richard rolled his eyes.

To hell with the person that said that a shortened version of Richard could be Dick! To _**HELL**_!!

"Are you still gonna go home for Thanksgiving?" Raven asked.

Dick thought about it for a moment, "You know what? No."

He smiled along with everyone else.

"I think I can stand to miss _one_ holiday at home." He said as the others cheered. "I'll go tell him right now. Be right back." He said and snuck out into the hallway to call Bruce.

He walked over to the window and he dropped the phone as he saw the APOCALYPSE raging through the city.

Giant pink unicorns jumped around everywhere as terrified people ran for their lives. Mermaids swam up to the surface and began singing Hannah Montana songs, causing hundreds of teenagers to commit suppuku, except for the ones who liked actually Hannah Montana, but they were killed when giant griffins swooped downs and ripped them to shreds with their sharp talons and beaks. Little kids cried their eyes out as Barney the dinosaur didn't shut the f*** up and kept on singing "I Love You."

However, it was a heyday for lawyers as they ran around trying to find me, the writer, to sue me for copyright infringement.

No, not for using the Teen Titans in an unauthorized Thanksgiving Special, but because apparently, _Flying Tomato _is a trademark exclusively used by Shaun White and some Italian grill in Pierce County Washington who in turn, are suing each other for using each other's name without paying royalties, and neither are very happy with me coincidentally using their name in a lame fanfic.

_Jerks_...

But worst of all, Disney's frozen head was attached to Megatron and he shot out flowers and incense to all the poor bystanders all the while waiving a marijuana flag and shouting, "_Legalize_ _it_, _man!_" as the terrified stoners dropped their joints and ran to the rehab centers.

REHAB!

Those quitters...

Oh, the humanity!!

* * *

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Robin shouted and shot up in his bed in a cold sweat.

He fumbled around in the dark until he found his cell phone and called Roy.

"_Dick_!" Roy shouted through the other line. "_Am I glad you called!_"

"I had the most fucked up dream ever, dude!" Dick said as he heaved and looked around for a paper bag.

"_Did you dream of Walt Disney bringing about the apocalypse too?_" Roy asked.

"Yeah, it was fucking terrifying, man!" Dick shouted and made a mental note to behead the stuffed Mickey Mouse toy he had in his closet somewhere.

"_I know dude! I dreamt that I told all my teammates in the Titans West my secret identity! My fucking secret identity! The hell would I do that?!?! I don't want them asking for a loan every minute, damn!_" Roy said as the both of them finally calmed down.

"And I still have to go to Gotham in like two days." Dick said and smacked his forehead with his hand.

"_Well, at least you've got Barbara and Alfred to talk to while you're there_." Roy said, "_Ollie hasn't been as fun when he started teaming up with GL a lot_. _He's turning into such an uptight dick- no offense, man_." He said quickly.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. I'm used to it by now. Who the hell came up with that anyway?" Richard said and he sighed as he made yet another mental note, to kill the asshole who said Dick was a good nickname for Richard!! "And Ollie may be turning into a drill sergeant but be glad he wasn't _always_ like that _or_ that you have to come up with a lie to your teammates."

"_You gonna say that you're grandma died again?_"

"No, she's died like five times already, I think they're starting to suspect something." He said.

"_Well, hope you come up with a lie soon_, _I think I heard Ollie waking up_. _The Watchtower may be cool but it sure as hell sucks when half the people here have a military background_." Roy said, "_See ya soon, man_."

"You too." Dick replied as he tried to think up a lie.

Or maybe he could actually just tell his teammates who he is.

And get the crap pummeled out of him when Bruce gave him _The Look_?

Oh, screw _the_ _look_!

He was going to tell his teammates the truth!

* * *

"_AIN'T_ _NO TOFU GONNA BE TOUCHING MY DAMN COUNTERS!!!!_" Cyborg shouted as he and Beast Boy fought over what kind of turkey to make.

Raven and Starfire tried their best to ignore them as they tried to meditate.

However, Robin stuck his head in and what he said made everyone stop what they were doing.

"_Going on a pilgrimage to Mecca be back when my soul is cleansed and saved from hell 'kay thanks bye!_" he said quickly and left.

There was a silence before Beast Boy broke it.

"He's Jewish?"

Everyone face palmed.

**

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Any Last Thoughts?**

*For those who hath not figured it out, FFDCU stands for FanFiction DC Universe.

I know? Genius, right?

Totally.

Anyway, I have three more announcements to make.

1) We now have 79 reviews!! Let's go for 100!!

2) Review 75 was A Flying Tomato! Congrats! I hope you caught that pretty lame existential reference in there by Wade! And this one right here, too. Congrats again for being ever so lucky...if you can call this lucky.

And number 3) I have stumbled upon (through pm message, yes, it counts as stumbling!!) a really good Deadpool crossover fic. Possibly even on par with mine! *gaspeth!* (But don't get all cocky there, okay? Remember who the star is here, ME, that's who!) Well, its called Son of a Mercenary, it's a crossover between Deadpool and Naruto.

Simple Synapses: What if Naruto gets adopted by Deadpool?

Disastrous results is all I can imagine.

Poor kid'll be wearing spandex for the rest of his life...

**Deadpool: Hey! I don't force spandex on anyone except Deadturkey! *points to a turkey wearing Deadpool-esque spandex suit and mask* So don't go labeling me the 'New Batman' 'cause I don't swing that way, I swing the other way which is the right way not that there's anything wrong with the wrong and its not wrong at all its just not my way so therefore its wrong and I'm gonna stop now before I get slapped with a lawsuit...unlike SOME people I know... o.O *points to me***

Hey! How was I supposed to know Shaun White had dibs on that name? *rolls eyes* Well, check it out, its really good and I totally recommend it for all you Deadpool fans who happen to be fans of Naruto as well.

And now... *sniff* it's time for the goodbyes... *sniffs*

NO! I'm not ending the fic or putting it on hiatus; I'm just putting a **lazy stamp** on it.

**Deadpool: I've gotten slapped with THAT before...it ain't pretty!**

Yes, well, I will _try_ to have chapter nineteen up _before_ Christmas because I'm sure I'll forget to do it on Christmas Day, because, you know, *giddily* all my presents!

Sorry you guys, but that's the way it's gotta be...because I'm too damn lazy and yet somehow busy to write any quicker.

:'(

**Deadpool: *in a deep announcer voice* *pulls out a ginormous stamp from thin air*__**_**LAZY STAMPED!!!**_

*sighs* I know, I suck, but I'm still wishing you guys a great Thanksgiving!

Don't choke on any turkey bones, though.

I still need those reviews! They're what brighten up my holidays!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

And REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac That Wishes You An Awesome Thanksgiving

_**Fire **_


	19. Old Ladies Should Not Act Young

**Forethoughts:**

*walks in sheepishly*

They say time flies like fruit- AH! O.O . *dodges the flying fruits*

Okay, I deserve that. It's been...since American Thanksgiving that I've updated. I totally understand if you guys don't wanna read this fic anymore or want anything to do with this, and I totally kind of deserve almost anything that you throw at-AH!!! *dodges the watermelon*

THAT COULD KILL ME!!!

**Deadpool: Well, duh!!**

First day back and I'm already snapping... _

**Deadpool: Well, duh!**

Are you going to say anything other than, "Well duh?"

**Deadpool: MAYBE!**

Is that all?

**Deadpool: Hey! I just stood in the back of your annoying teen girly mind for two months! In the dust! I mean, sure you drooled over my character everyday and brought that action figure to school and-**

And spent the last two days writing the next fifty pages of the fic.

**Deadpool: Yup! And I'm not going to do one more scene if I don't get the last part of where you speak and stuff at the end entirely devoted to the DeadCorner.**

What? But it's my last minute thoughts section!

**Deadpool: And I've been the last of the thoughts for a very very long time! I'm not doing this fic if I don't get it!**

How the hell am I in a losing argument with my own imagination?!

**Deadpool: Because it's an active imagination.**

Grrr, I hate my mind sometimes.

**Deadpool: You wouldn't be the only one!**

Fine! But only for two chapters!

**Deadpool: Ten!**

Zero.

**Deadpool: Five!**

Zero.

**Deadpool: Four, and that's my final offer...three!**

Two.

**Deadpool: Eight!**

One-half.

**Deadpool: Oh no no no, I'm not falling for that Futurama ploy. Two!**

Deal.

**Deadpool: WOO HOO!!!! *runs around happily***

Okay, it's official, I'm batf*ck insane... *watches Deadpool run around singing 'Eye of the Tiger'* *sighs* Anyway, I'm really sorry about not updating in so long, I really have been writing non-stop for the past two days and I actually seriously do have the next fifty pages lined up. Every chapter is around ten pages long so that means I've got five chapter to post up every...time I remember to update. *laughs nervously*

*gets more fruit thrown at her* BUT! **BUT**!!!! I am officially ridding the fic of...THE LAZY STAMP!!!

That's right; I'll make sure that I work on it whenever I can! I can't promise anything but you can trust me that I'll try!

I hope that in time, you guys will forgive.

'Till the third update seeing as how the end will be the Dead-Corner for this and the next update.

See ya soon!

Oh, and, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!! .

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac That's SOOOOOO SORRY

_**Fire

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**_

**Disclaimer:**

I do not own Teen Titans. Hell, I don't even technically own the DVDs, my little brother does. I just over-watch season 2 is all. It's my favorite season.

Can anyone guess why? ^_^

* * *

**Business Endeavors**

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**Chapter 19: Old Ladies Should Not Act Young

* * *

**

At first Bob had been quite awkward with such a bulky mode of transportation, but he soon got used to it and was riding the motorcycle at an eighth grade level! As soon as he and Weasel saw the shrub outlining one side of Jump City, he slowed down.

"Okay Bob, this is it. The last time Wade's tracking device let out a signal he was right here." Weasel said as he looked back at his laptop's screen.

"Why do you think Mr. Wilson's signal stopped?" Bob asked, garnering an '_Are you serious?_' look from Weasel behind his glasses.

"With a teen assassin, a super villain with an army of robots, a bunch of other teenagers doped up on either hormones, drugs, or both, and the city's entire police force all trying to kill him, you're seriously asking that?" Weasel replied.

"Oh, right..."

"Uh-huh," Weasel closed his laptop and walked into the shade offered by the trees. He looked around and scrunched up his face when he saw a few marks on the floor.

"_Teh Tightnz Wer Hear_." Bob read aloud, he shook his head in exasperation, "Kids..."

Weasel promptly ignored the words and looked around the forest, "Are you getting a bad vibe from this place too?"

"Yeah...didn't feel it when we first came through here, though." Bob said and rubbed his chin, trying to put a finger on what exactly that feeling was that they were both feeling.

"Then again, we were half dead when we first came here." Weasel said.

"How long ago was that again?"

"Like...three days I think."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I think so." Weasel said as he checked his laptop's calendar, "Yeah, three-_four _days ago, actually."

"Wow...the days go by _slow_..."

"Yup." Weasel replied and stepped forward, trying to look for anything that Deadpool might have left.

Without warning, his laptop's screen began turning an array of colors and then a fuzzy overcame it, like a TV with rabbit ears antennae. Then, it began to fizzle and let out quick white sparks.

Instinctively, Weasel let go of the laptop just as a dizzying sensation overcame him.

"Weasel, what happ...what happened?" Bob said, also succumbing to the slightly dizzying sensation of whatever it was that was happening.

"I uh, I don't know, the computer just started fizzling and..." they both looked down at the black screen of the laptop. After a second or two of controlling the dizziness, Weasel grabbed a stick and poked the laptop and it didn't blow up.

Good sign.

He picked it up and tried to turn it on but to no avail. Weasel tried every trick he knew of turning on an unresponsive computer, all from taking out the battery and putting it back in to...okay, that was all he knew.

"What now?" Bob asked.

Weasel sighed and shook his head, "Not a clue."

* * *

"So that's the real reason the connection was severed from Robin's cycle and Gotham?" Batman replied as he heard how two men, Weasel and Bob, escaped from containment and stole Robin's cycle while the Titans had gone to the county jail to help interrogate the mercenary that had kidnapped Robin in the first place, Deadpool.

"Sounds like you had a different theory why the connection severed." Raven commented quietly but loudly enough for Batman to hear her.

Leading the group towards the Tower's living room was Superman, who, upon hearing Raven's comment, inhaled sharply and wondered whether Raven _had_ to ask or just wanted to.

"I'd figured that he finally wanted to be completely independent of me and disengaged the connection himself." Batman replied.

Superman sensed that Raven had a follow-up question but shot her a quick glance that told her to quiet down; she obeyed.

As they entered the living room, the Martian Manhunter stood at a terminal continuing to type away as he had already been searching for Bob and Weasel for a few minutes. He had phased through the different floors of the building to get there faster.

"I've tried to trace back the signal Weasel sent earlier in the morning but nothing has come up. Are you sure he would be the only one capable of hacking into the Tower?" J'onn asked.

For a moment Cyborg thought of replying Slade but his gut told him not to. Not only because Slade hadn't been seen for months but also because he had an inkling feeling that Batman might not have been informed of Slade trying to make Robin his apprentice some time earlier, and Cyborg did _not_ want to be the one to tell Batman that a creepy, powerful, megalomaniac was trying to get his ex-apprentice to be _his_ apprentice.

"Cyborg, are you sure?" J'onn asked again, he had sensed that Cyborg had thought of someone but something was holding back his answer. That, and the look on Cyborg's face said it all, he didn't need to be psychic to know he had an answer.

"_Hey guys!_" the Flash called through the JLA's own communicators.

Superman had also seen Cyborg's face but because of the Flash's interruption, decided to ignore it, "Yeah Flash?"

"_Everyone's been accounted for and given medical attention and all the rubble's been cleared_. _We're done- oh_..._oh_..._my_..._God_..."

"Flash, what is it? What happened?" J'onn asked urgently.

"_Um_..._d-did you guys know how many elderly women were my fans?_" Flash replied as a few old ladies opened up their knit sweaters to reveal Flash t-shirts. He shivered, "_Yeah, uh, so um, we're_..._we're done here_..._thank God_..."

"Alright, report back to the Titan's Tower, there's a few things we need to discuss." Superman said.

The Titan's stomachs plummeted.

"_We'll be there_." The Green Lantern said through his communicator as the last ambulance left. He looked over to where the Flash was gawking at and he jumped in shock, "_Is that what I think that is?!_"

The Flash looked down in embarrassment, horribly scarred for years to come, just as Wonder Woman walked up to them, "_Why is that elderly woman wearing nothing but an official Flash sports bra?_"

Beast Boy leapt forward and switched off communications, "That is _so _not the first thing you wanna hear after being deaf for half an hour..." he said, just as traumatized as the Flash.

* * *

Deadpool shivered back to consciousness; "It's as if a billion lives cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced..." he said quietly and shook his head of the feeling, "Some old lady must've been trying to act young...again. Either that or someone finally updated a fanfic I'm in after months of waiting by the adoring fans. Either way, I felt somethin' mighty evil afoot."

He shuddered and remembered why he was here, "Oh right! Tryin' to find Petey...right...almost forgot."

He frantically rang the door bell as he waited for an answer. Not that he really expected one. He walked over to the window and peeked inside

The lights had been shut off, there was burnt rubber on the driveway, and a bird had begun making a nest on Deadpool's head, so he figured that the old couple was long gone by then. Either that or they were sleeping. That explanation made Wade wary; he didn't want to wake up an old couple as they were getting their 18 hours.

He rolled his eyes under his mask and turned around to where his car was before his brain exploded minutes or hours earlier.

He sure hoped the car hadn't been scavenged.

And sure enough, the car was just crappy enough for no one to want it. Wade plopped in and took out his marker, intent on crossing out the old couple's house from the map of Forest Hills, but before he could he heard an annoying beeping.

"If that's a bomb, I'm gonna be pretty pissed..." he grumbled and looked out around only to remember that it was the sound of his tracking device displayer. His eyes drooped, "Ugh, brain farts suuuuuuck..." he said as he brought out the little device.

The gadget was doing its job and displaying the tracking device he had planted in Petey's hair when he wasn't looking. However, the device was now displaying that Pete was a long ways away from where Wade was, and that meant only one thing...he had to follow.

"Curse my emerging humanity!" Deadpool slammed a fist on the dashboard and turned the key. The engine sputtered for a moment before giving out completely.

"Oh cra-NOOOOOO!! Charlene!!!" he cried as he barely remembered that he had left the engine running. He groaned and lay back in his chair and sighed at the prospect of having to siphon gas.

Again.

He looked over and noticed that the guy that had pulled a shotgun on him earlier had a car parked right outside of his house.

"Methinks a grand theft auto be-ith in order..._muahahahaha_..." Deadpool rubbed his palms together and laughed maliciously as he snuck his way to the brown station wagon...

* * *

Hawkgirl and Wonder Woman were the last of the Justice League members to arrive at the Tower.

"What took you two so long?" Flash sneered while leaning on the couch.

"A little girl lost her cat," Hawkgirl leered at Flash for needlessly (in her opinion) pointing out the pair's tardiness and jerked her head at Wonder Woman's direction, "She _forced_ me to help her find it."

"Would you have rather left her crying?" Wonder Woman retorted with crossed arms and Hawkgirl quieted down with a silent groan, knowing that Diana was right; she wouldn't have.

"So long as you arrived." Superman walked up to keep the peace, as always. He decided to start the discussion now, not only to get the important topics, but also to keep Hawkgirl from breaking any of Flash's bones.

Again.

"We're going to have to split up into groups if we're going to be searching the entirety of Jump and parts beyond to find Robin." Superman said, unwittingly putting on his 'Leader Voice,' the one that made Batman almost roll his eyes under his mask at how much it made  
Clark sound like a World War II serial.

"Didn't he have anything on him with tracking devices or locaters?" the Green Lantern asked.

"No, his belt, communicator, and bike had all been disabled, not a single signal has been sent since his kidnapping." The Martian Manhunter replied.

"What about his scent?" Hawkgirl spoke up, "Couldn't the changeling-"

"_Beast Boy_." Flash reminded her under his breath.

"-uh, right, _Beast Boy_, sniff him out or something?"

"Couldn't." Beast Boy spoke up quickly so as to clear his name, "When Deadpool took him he teleported out of there. When you teleport you don't really leave a scent because you didn't exactly walk from one place to another, you just sort of..._appear_ there, you know?"

"And what of his kidnapper? _Deadpool_ was it? Has no one seen him?" Wonder Woman asked, "I wouldn't imagine it to be very hard to spot a red psychopath within a crowd."

"Well, the police _did_ catch him, he just sorta..._escaped_." Cyborg said nervously.

"And what of the other two that were with him?" Wonder Woman continued her questioning.

"Bob and Weasel?" J'onn asked, "Apparently, they too were caught and detained in the Tower but like Deadpool, they escaped, _and_ with Robin's motorcycle, no less."

"I suppose they're the ones who disabled the tracking signal in the bike." Green Lantern inferred.

"Not only that, but they were also the ones responsible for hacking into the Watchtower earlier this morning." The Martian added.

"With a name like Weasel, why not?" Flash said to lighten spirits, the situation was getting more hopeless by the second, "But wouldn't you guys've done a super intense search right after he was kidnapped?" he asked the Titans directly.

"We did." Raven replied, "All we found were Bob and Weasel."

"Are they really that capable?" Superman asked, "I mean, enough to escape from containment?"

"How capable can they be if they're caught?" Hawkgirl replied.

"But they still escaped," Wonder Woman intervened, "They must be capable enough to escape, but perhaps not for long. We might actually be able to use this to our advantage."

"That's _if_ they really are that clumsy," the Green Lantern also butted in, "but I don't think very clumsy people just escape from confinement."

"But," Hawkgirl stood firm, "they were still caught in the first place."

"What if they wanted to be caught?" Flash asked.

Everyone, save for the Martian Manhunter, who was still busy at the terminal, turned to look at the Titans.

"Uhh..." is all the Titans could muster. To be in the spotlight after having been ignored almost a millisecond earlier would've put anyone off guard.

Even Raven.

However, she was able to recover quicker than the other and spoke fore them, "If they wanted to be caught I would've sensed it." She said, trying to put on an air of confidence to make sure that the League knew that she meant what she said.

"How'd they look like, anyway?" the Green Lantern asked, "Sometimes you can learn a lot about someone just by looking at them or noticing some gestures," he turned to the Martian Manhunter who was still dutifully at the terminal, "J'onn, can you find some video of Weasel and Bob in the containment facility of the Tower?"

"That!" Cyborg interrupted the Martian from trying, "That uh...kind of isn't possible..." Cyborg scrunched up his face, "They uh...._Weasel_," he said with venom in his voice, "deleted all the videos of their time here, especially of their escape."

With that, Superman's brow furrowed and he turned to Hawkgirl.

"I still say they might still slip up again," she said, knowing what Superman had to say, "If they were caught once and didn't mean to be, they can be caught again." She crossed her arms.

"Can you at least describe them?" The Green Lantern asked.

Cyborg chose his words carefully so that the Titans wouldn't look like bad superheroes but also so that Bob and Weasel weren't overestimated, "Well...Weasel he's smart...smart enough to hack into, I guess, pretty much anything but uh...he's not very...uh, athletic..."

"He's scrawny?" Flash asked.

"Um..." Cyborg figured that it was the only word that fit Weasel, "...pretty much."

"And Bob?" Wonder Woman asked, "What is he like?"

"Bob...oh, well, _Bob_..." Cyborg tried to find a fitting word but was at a loss.

"He's a cowardly idiot." Beast Boy blurted out.

"_Now_ it makes sense..." Hawkgirl said.

"And yet they escaped." Batman asked in a tone that proved to everyone that he was far from impressed with the Titans.

"_Kinda_." Cyborg said in a small voice, "But like I said, Weasel's smart."

The JLA members looked at each other, unsure of what to think, except for the Martian Manhunter. His brain had been wrapped around the signal sent to the Watchtower. Not many people could hack into the Watchtower, and not many could make it look as though it had been someone else. Then his mind found a question he wondered why he didn't think of before.

Why had Weasel even _wanted_ to hack into the Watchtower?

He turned around, his back to the group and his face to the console. He began to type furiously.

"Cyborg," he called and the teen's ears perked up.

"Yeah?"

"When Weasel and Bob were in the Tower, you interrogated them, correct?" J'onn asked, hoping that his hunch had been correct.

The JLA members looked at each other; they recognized that look on J'onn's face; he had an idea.

"Yeah, we questioned them," Cyborg asked, "Why?"

"What did you ask them?"

Cyborg looked at the other Titans, only Raven seemed to have an inkling idea as to what he was trying to find out.

"We asked them where Deadpool was." She answered for Cyborg and walked up slowly to the Martian along with Cyborg to get a closer look at what he was doing.

"And what was their reply?" J'onn asked, pausing his fingers for a moment.

Raven replied, "They didn't know."

J'onn's face calmed and a slight smile came over him, "As of 3:23 am this morning," he input a few last commands and the console's screen was visible up on the big screen TV, it was a map of Jump and it zoomed into the woodland preserve on the east side of the city, "they know _exactly _where he is." The Martian Manhunter said.

"They hacked into the Watchtower to try and find Deadpool?" Batman asked.

"Yes, and the last signal any tracer of Deadpool's sent out was in the woods."

"So now we know where they are," the Flash interrupted, "we gonna go or what?"

"What if they're not there?" Wonder Woman asked to stop the Flash from running off before they came to an agreement.

"Oh, right," Flash said, a little despondent.

"Then we should still split into smaller groups," Superman said, "At least then, if they are there we'll still be able to take them by surprise and if they aren't we might be able to find some clues to where they _really_ are."

Superman assumed his most leader-esque pose, again forcing Batman to suppress his gag reflex or let a smile escape him, "J'onn and Cyborg, you two should stay here in case something happens; GL, Flash, Beast Boy, and Raven, you four sneak into the woods to catch Deadpool and his lackeys off guard." The six of them nodded in understanding, "The rest of you will come with me; we'll be air support." Everyone nodded, understanding their objectives and started for the roof to take off.

Beast Boy stopped and ran up to Superman, "_Uh, hey,_" he said quietly, so no one would hear him, "_you forgot about Batman_."

Superman couldn't help but let out a small smile, "Uh, Batman doesn't entirely _take orders_..."

Flash zoomed into the conversation, "Yeah, he's a _lone_ _wolf_," he used his fingers to make quotations in the air, "he'll work with the pack but he'll do it in his own stealthy, secret, and almost creepykind of way."

"Oh...I didn't know," Beast Boy said and followed Flash out onto the roof to meet up with his subgroup.

"And, for the record," Flash continued, "Supes doesn't really need to remind Bats to do all that stuff. Batman's not one that needs reassurance, you know?" he slapped Beast Boy's shoulder, "Now come on, let's go catch us some bad guys!"

Before Beast Boy finished blinking, let alone say anything, the Flash had already gotten a running start on his group.

"He does that," the Green Lantern said as he activated his power ring and flew after him.

"_A_ _lot_," Hawkgirl added to the Green Lantern's statement as her wings began beating hard against the roof, stirring up a cloud of dirt as she propelled herself after GL.

Beast Boy turned as Raven spoke to him, "The big league's not all that different than what we've been doing. I don't see why they _really_ had to take over."

"Isn't it because they have more experience than us?" Beast Boy asked as Raven began to float.

"Have you _met_ the Flash?" Raven replied and her floating turned to flight; she took off.

* * *

As mentioned many, many times before, being a mercenary for an elongated period of time (that means longer than a summer job, I know, sucks) has its perks; being able to tell what's a bomb and what's not, being able to move silently through the shadows without hindrance, being able to talk on a cell phone while driving without getting pulled over, and perhaps the best of all, being able to hijack a car without the owner noticing by turning off the alarm in one swoop of awesomeness!

Unfortunately, though Deadpool had been a merc for a very long time, enough to know how to jack a car, he had not been one long enough to know how to jack it _without_ the alarming blaring...

"GET OUTTA MY CAR, YA JERK!!!!!!!!!!!!" the rude, crude, semi-clothed dude that had pulled a shotgun on Wade earlier whilst he was asking for the whereabouts of Petey, was currently holding a shotgun up at Wade again, though this time, there was smoke coming out from the barrel as he shot at Deadpool, only for him to screech out of the driveway as the man cocked his gun.

"I promise that the tow truck'll bring your car back in less than six pieces!!!" Deadpool shouted as the man shot again, forcing him to duck as Wade made his way ever so closer to the heart of the city, where Pete seemed to be.

Deadpool sighed as another bullet flew past him, "People these days..."

* * *

"Cyborg," the Martian Manhunter asked as he and the robotic teen worked the controls of the Tower, "may I ask you something?"

Cyborg kept his focus on his console; he had an idea what J'onn might ask and he didn't like it, "Yeah? What is it?"

J'onn's brow furrowed, "When I asked you earlier, whether or not Weasel was the only one capable of hacking into the tower, it looks like you had an alternate answer but you never said it. Now that it is just the two of us, would you mind telling me who your answer was?"

Cyborg had gone over in his head dozens of times the list of reasons as to why he didn't say Slade's name, at the top of the list was because Batman was there, and now that it really was just the two of them, he figured it was a better time. However, he still wondered what the implications to the team might be if he explained to him who Slade was.

J'onn sensed Cyborg's worry and quickly reassured him, "You don't have to answer me if you don't wish to."

Cyborg opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by the Scarlet Speedster,

"_Hey, Martian! Cyborg!_"the Flash said happily through his communicator, "_The others are almost here, anything unusual in our area or are we good for the sweep?_"

"Sensors don't indicate anything in your immediate area, Flash," J'onn replied, "Your group should be good to go, once they catch up to you, that is."

"_Good to hear,_" the Flash responded.

"Yes, Cyborg and I will keep all of you posted," J'onn responded as the communicator switched off.

The Martian turned his attention again to Cyborg, "You were saying?"

Cyborg's eyes widened, "Uhh," he scratched the back of his mechanical skull, "I don't think I should be telling you without the say-so of the rest of my team..." he said, trying to sound as though he had a legitimate reason other than fear of Batman.

It was then that J'onn realized how important the answer might be.

"Cyborg," he started, "if the answer to such a simple question requires the approval of all your teammates, then whoever it is you're thinking of should be searched for _immediately_. We shouldn't be debating whether or not it is a good time to mention something when a teammate might be in danger. _Nothing_ is more valuable than information, especially during a time like this."

"But he can't hack into anything!" Cyborg replied, "He's dead...I think..." he stopped himself at that, not wanting to give away much else.

The Martian Manhunter looked at him sternly, "So were Superman, Batman, Flash, and almost every hero in the world, and look how dead _they_ turned out to be."

Cyborg cringed at the thought of Slade still being alive and that in turn made him wonder whether holding back the information was such a good idea. He bit his lower lip and sighed, "Look, I get that this might be really important, but there are some things that...I'd rather not say without them knowing."

J'onn sighed; he understood what Cyborg meant, "So long as we get a name, I suppose it will do."

Cyborg sighed, "I'm sure you'll at least get _that_."

* * *

Beast Boy's hawk-eyes widened in shock as he looked down into the dense shrubbery, he let out a high pitched screech and turned back but the Green Lantern flew after him and caught him in a green cage.

"What do you think you're doing?!" he barked at the panicking green bird.

Beast Boy turned back into his normal self and began hyperventilating, "I can't go there! I can't! I can't!"

"Why not?" the Green Lantern asked.

Raven flew by them and looked back down at their destination, realizing where exactly it was, "You've _got_ to be kidding me..."

"What?" Jon asked.

"We were just there a few hours ago," Raven replied, anger and shock creeping into her normally emotionless voice.

"You were?" GL said as he turned on his communicator, "Hey Cyborg! Is it true your team was already here a few hours ago?"

"_Where you are right now?_" Cyborg asked.

"Yeah, is it true?" Jon asked as he touched down on a rooftop.

"Cyborg, it _is_ the same place we were at. The place Beast Boy's mind snapped...more so," Raven spoke into the communicator.

"Hey! I heard that!" Beast Boy shouted at her, his hyperventilation calming down at the prospect of being able to postpone the mission.

"She intended for it, kid." GL said, uninterested in anything but the answer.

"_Lemme see the map_..." Cyborg said as he pulled it up. His eyes squinted as he tried to remember if he'd seen the landmarks before.

"Dude! Use Google Earth, get a street view!" Beast Boy shouted into the communicator as Superman, Hawkgirl, Wonder Woman, and Starfire slowed down by them on the rooftop.

"What's going?" Superman asked, "And why is Beast Boy in a cage?"

"It is bigger than the one I saw him in during my time in the future." Starfire said, earning an inquisitive look from Wonder Woman and Starfire replied with a sheepish smile after realizing what she said.

"So is it or isn't it?" the Green Lantern asked.

"_Yeah, yeah it is_." Cyborg said, "_Man, Jump has so many forest areas that I didn't even realize it was it_..."

"What's going on?" Hawkgirl asked.

"Apparently, _they_ were already in the forest a few hours ago," Jon gestured toward the teens.

"And _I_, for one, didn't like it one bit!" Beast Boy pouted, "And I am _not_ goin' back here! Nuh-uh! No way! No how! No other synonyms!"

"Why not?" Wonder Woman asked as Superman told Jon to let Beast Boy out of his cage construct.

"There's something there that just...I can't really explain it, I'm just not going back there. If they need my help I'd be happy to go with Cyborg and Martian Manhunter but I'm not going back into the forest." Beast Boy crossed his arms and parked his butt on the floor with another pout, "I'm not going _there_ again!"

"Can you _try_ to explain why not?" Hawkgirl asked.

"Not...really...it's hard." Beast Boy replied.

"Can you _try_ to try...to try?" Superman asked.

"Well...there's this really bright light in there," Beast Boy started and pointed near the middle of the forest, "and...well, it's _really_ bright..."

"What else?" Superman asked.

"Well...it's..._wrong_," there was no other word Beast boy could think of, "That light is one: way too bright, and two: very, very, very wrong. It shouldn't be there- hell; it shouldn't be..._here_, as in inside the universe! It's really just..._wrong_. It doesn't belong here. I-It's _blinding_ in its wrongness! It's so wrong its glowing in the wrong that it is!" he continued on, knowing that he didn't make much sense.

"He's right," Raven said, "there's something weird about the forest there. When I interrogated Weasel he said that he, Bob, and Deadpool were all from New York and arrived here on foot and in less than two hours. According to him, they had stolen a car, left it on the highway, and run through the forest on the side while trying to outrun the cops and ended up here."

Everyone gave her confused looks, except Beast Boy who took Raven agreeing with him as a sign of the apocalypse.

"You see?! There's something screwy with the forest!!!" he cried out, "It's killing us slowly!! Okay, maybe not killing, but you know, it's doing weird stuff! Like teleporting people from New York to Jump and stuff."

"_Why the hell didn't __**I**__ know about that, Raven!?_" Cyborg shouted through the Green Lantern's communicator.

"You didn't ask?" she replied.

"Oh my god, she made a joke!! The forest is mucking up her mind! Get out while you still can!!" Beast Boy turned into a hawk and attempted to fly off but the Green Lantern made another green cage and pulled his back.

"To be honest, I was fairly sure that Weasel was on drugs," Raven shrugged, "Didn't _you_ smell something weird coming off of him?"

"_Other than not showering for days?_"

"I swear that it smelled like smoke," she insisted.

Cyborg's cheeks tinged when he realized why that must have been, "_Oh, uh, I think I know why you smelled smoke_..." he said sheepishly.

"Oh please, _enlighten_ us," Hawkgirl replied in place of a groan while Superman pinched the bridge of his nose as though he knew what was coming.

"_Remember how Bob needed to use the restroom?_" Cyborg asked, "_Yeah_..._well, there was a reason he needed to use it so badly_..."

"Oh God..." the Green Lantern groaned.

"_So I used a match to cover up the smell_," Cyborg finished.

Superman shut his eyes tightly and suppressed the urge to groan, "So, what you're saying is that the forest might have a portal in there or something?"

"Possibly," Raven replied.

"But one that must not be there naturally," Wonder Woman elaborated, "or else you or Beast Boy wouldn't have that uneasy feeling."

"And no one saw Deadpool when you were out there searching for Robin?" Hawkgirl asked.

The Titans shook their heads.

"Then Deadpool might not even be there," GL added, "He might've teleported to...God knows where."

"Bob and Weasel might not have reached the portal," Starfire spoke up, "It is possible that they believe Deadpool is waiting for them or that they are to wait _for_ Deadpool."

"Hmm," Superman stroked his chin as he put all these things into consideration, "J'onn? Can you ask Flash to give the forest a quick sweep?"

"_Of course, Superman_," the Martian Manhunter said as he tried connecting to the Flash's communicator.

* * *

Deadpool whistled a few tunes on his own after realizing that the radio didn't have any good songs on and he certainly didn't want to hear about how he could get laser eye surgery.

"My vision's perfect and these tires are none too shabby either!" he said haughtily as he ran through a red light, which, really, wasn't so much that he thought it was green, he knew it was red, he just didn't _care_ that it was red.

He checked the tracking device displayer once more and found that he was only a few blocks away from Petey. He put the gadget away and began contemplating something...he didn't remember Petey's real name.

Or at least the name he used as a superhero...or villain, he wasn't sure which one he was right now.

Vigilante?

Anti-Hero?

Cowboy?

Mercenary?

Astronaut?

The newest Disney pop idol?

Deadpool shuddered, "I hope not...for the sake of the world, I _pray_ not..."

He rounded the corner and remembered that he was trying to remember the hero...villain...pop idol name Petey actually used.

Deadpool stroked his chin with one hand as he steered with that other, just like everyone else, "Dennis? No, it was something with a bird...Blue Jay? O.J.? Juice? Wait, bird, right...Hawk? Dove? Dover? Rover? Oh, right! BIRD! Ugh...Crow? Vultur-no, not without a lawsuit...Eagle? Finch? Mockingbir- no, not if he had any respect for the Avengers...Phoen-no, again, not if he had any respect for the X-Men...or was like that sultry, perpetually scantily clad Emma Frost...except without boobies."

His chuckle was reminiscent of Beavis and Butthead, "Heh, boobies..."

* * *

"Hey Flash?" Cyborg opened the line for the Flash's communicator.

"_Yello?_" Flash answered.

"It turns out we might've been here before you guys called us up to the Tower." Cyborg responded, feeling much more relaxed with the Flash than many of the others, "Can you give the forest a quick rundown to see if Bob and Weasel really are there?"

"_Gimme three seconds_," Flash said but not to gloat; that was how long it would really take him. He sped off, and one second later, one third of the forest had been accounted for; they were in _that_ area. He continued on to the other two-thirds.

The second third also had no sign of Bob and Weasel, but the third half, the one closest to where the bombs had blasted earlier, was an entirely different story.

Aside from stopping a few milliseconds to read the words, _Teh Tightnz Wer Hear_, he felt the strangest sensation overcome him and slow him down, something he only felt when he was either extremely tired or when there were other forces at work.

He blinked his eyes a few times as he felt his body stop vibrating, he felt as thought he had just melted through ice again, like he had moved all his molecules at once but not entirely as a whole, like when he ran.

Why he felt that was a mystery to him because he hadn't melted through ice, and the bigger mystery was when he saw two men, one dressed very casually and even just the tiniest bit messy and one who...for lack of a better word, looked like a minion that would seem entirely expendable; he was clad in green with yellow accessories.

* * *

**

* * *

The DeadCorner**

*the DeadCorner theme song plays, which sounds an awful lot like the old Batman theme only Batman is replaced by Deadpool in both the words and the opening sequence and yes, Burt Ward is still there*

**Deadpool: Welcome! This is the DeadCorner, and I'm your host, the merc with the mouth, Deadpool! Then there's these guys.**

*the camera pans to reveal Weasel and Bob*

**Deadpool: Today's topic is MLK day. Good thing or BAAAAAAAD thing? Co-anchors? Your thoughts?**

**Bob: Good, because we get the day off, even in HYDRA!**

**Weasel: Yeah, but when you're chronically unemployed, weekends and holidays are meaningless.**

**Deadpool: *presses a button on his chair that electrocutes Weasel* Bad Weasel! Bad for stealing a joke from South Park! *presses the button again, only sending a mild shock* Bad!**

**Weasel: I think my neurons are firing in the wrong direction.**

**Deadpool: No they're not. *ignores him* Next topic, school; is it necessary?**

**Bob: *shrugs***

**Weasel: I always thought education was important...and I still think that every time bullets are flying past me on the battlefield. -_-**

**Deadpool: That's right kids, stay in school because not every reality has a HYDRA, and even then, they only accept people with a high school diploma! Stay in school! Next topic! Ahh...yes...this one...**

**Weasel: *squints* What's that say? I can't read it. *cleans his glasses and squints again***

**Deadpool: There has been a horrible, nasty, disgusting rumor that, not only will the new Spider-Man film be a reboot, but it will also replace the main cast!!!**

**Bob: Isn't that what reboots usually are?**

**Deadpool: Yes, but this article is truly disgusting because of who they say will play Spider-Man next!**

**Weasel: Where'd you read this article?**

**Deadpool: On some website where idiotic people can post whatever they want!!!**

**Weasel: That doesn't really narrow things dow-**

**Deadpool: *quickly and angrily* The idiot author of the article said that Spidey was gonna be played by fugging Robert Pattinson, otherwise known as the Meyerpire/sparklepire/or lame-o-pire from Twilight!! *smashes his hands down on his arm rest accidentally shocking Bob and Weasel* Woops. *removes his arm* Sorry.**

**Weasel and Bob: *pass out***

**Deadpool: More paycheck for me. ^_^ *turns to face the camera* First they ruin our vampires- though, we're slowly SLOWLY fixing ourselves from that mistake- and now they wanna ruin comic books!! And that's not even mentioning the fact that Robert Pattinson looks nothing at all like Peter Parker!! Sure he's pale and sickly looking but at Spider-Man takes a shower once in a friggin' while! And haven't the British invaded our American roles enough- ignore the fact that I'm Canadian, I'm still North American dammit! First Christian Bale is Batman, then Alfred Molina is Doc Ock, then whathisface is Mr. Fantastic, and I'm pretty sure that one of the dudes who played the Punisher in all his failed movies was British!! When will it end, people!??! *sighs* And it seems that that's all the time we have left. See y'al next time on...!!**

**THE DEADCORNER**


	20. Mystery Date

**Forethoughts:**

*sighs* Okay, so sorry to everyone who I told to check back on Friday and Saturday. I was swamped with school assignments and chose not to do others. Like that one thing that said I'm supposed to take a quote from the first or second chapter of the book we're reading (To Kill a Mockingbird) and pretty much dissect it.

I see no reason in doing it so I won't until I positively have to. (Yes, I suck, but I honestly see no reason in doing it as opposed to actually reading the entire book, which I just did, an then giving our thoughts about it, it makes no sense.)

*sighs* Anyway, other than school stuff, I've also been busy in writing my original stories and editing the next few chapters for this very fanfic. It's been a slightly busy week, mostly boring, and full of rain, which I enjoyed.

So, without further adieu, here's chapter 20!

And, as always, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Pyromaniac That Is Questioning Authority In A Very Lame Fashion

_**Fire

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**Disclaimer:**

If anyone guessed last time that the reason I liked Teen Titans is because of Slade, then you're darn tootin' right! He's bitchingly awesome!

And he won't be appearing for a few chapters.

But, other than that, I don't own Teen Titans, and I forgot to mention to you guys last time that has to with... *inhales* Deadpool...

I don't own him either!

* * *

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* * *

Business Endeavors

* * *

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**Chapter 20: Mystery Date

* * *

**

Out in the forest stood three men, one was dressed like an everyday man, not giving much stake on his appearance and wearing whatever didn't stink.

Another one wore a green jumpsuit with yellow accessories ranging from yellow boots and matching yellow gloves to a yellow utility belt that held absolutely nothing (unless you count Smart Tarts).

Finally, the last man and the last one to appear out of thin air, was clad in all red with yellow boots, two yellow zigzagging stripes that were reminiscent to lightning bolts around his hips and two yellow lightning bolts coming flaring his mask's ears for added effect.

They're names were Weasel, computer genius (this was on his business card), Bob, Agent of HYDRA (this too was on _his_ business card), and the Flash, the Fastest Man Alive! (Everything, including the exclamation point is NOT on the Flash's business card. Why? Surprisingly, he never had time to make any...)

"Wa-!" Weasel began to say _Wade_ but quickly he recognized that it wasn't Deadpool and the first half of Deadpool's name blended into the next word Weasel's mouth formed,

"-it!"

The words meshed perfectly.

"You're not Deadpool," Weasel said. He was certainly not the red clad man they were looking for.

The Flash seemed to have appeared out of nowhere; assembling into one piece but seeming as though he hadn't done that entirely, as if pieced together quickly, one by one. It was reminiscent to how the transporters on Star Trek worked, they teleported the molecules separately and reassembled them at the selected area, except no one seemed to be making the cool sound effects.

That, and the stranger was accompanied by an odd rippling effect that caused the forest to look almost swirled together for a few seconds before subsiding, as though he just stepped through a puddle.

Weasel and Bob weren't the only ones who were surprised to see someone materialize out of nowhere. The Flash had a mind too, and right now, it was wrapped around the fact that he had just slowed down due to unknown means and seen two men, who looked a lot like certain descriptions he heard not too long ago, just appear in front of him.

"Deadpool?" the Flash said immediately; just because he was surprised didn't mean his mind didn't work fast.

Warning bells went off in Weasel and Bob's minds and they looked at each other, wondering if the other was thinking the same thing.

They turned around and ran.

But not before the Flash ran in front of them.

"Wow!" Flash exclaimed with a bright smile, "I've _honestly_, I-I mean, _seriously_ I honest to God have _never_ had that reaction before! I mean..._wow_! This is kind...kind of a big deal for me, I don't think this'll happen again..." his grin literally stretched from ear to ear; it _was_ a big deal for him. He sighed happily, "Though, this probably means you don't know who I am?"

* * *

"Doughnuts, I've got doughnuts," Deadpool sang as he walked out of a doughnut shop with a dozen or so diabetes bullets. He would have probably found Petey by now had he not suddenly gotten the urge to get doughnuts, which really, you can't ignore.

He lifted up his mask to chomp on a glazed doughnut and pulled out the tracking device displayer, Petey wasn't all that far away, maybe three blocks, he had really begun to slow down, almost to a halt, after having made it downtown a half hour ago.

Deadpool would have also been saying something witty had his mouth not been full of glazed goodness...chocolate deliciousness...sprinkled spectacularness...etcetera, until there were five left.

Okay, four and a half.

With a bear claw hanging from his mouth, Deadpool went back into traffic to find Petey.

* * *

"Flash?" the Martian Manhunter called in through the communication link again. Just around half a minute prior, the line had gone dead, "Flash?" he called again, urgency had begun to fill his voice.

"What the hell happened?" Cyborg muttered as he tried to reconnect to his communicator, "It's like he turned it off or it broke or something..."

"_Why's Flash taking so long?_" the Green Lantern asked with the slightest bit of worrying tinting his voice.

"_Usually, he would've been done around 20 seconds ago_." Hawkgirl said.

"_He was eaten or something!_" Beast Boy exclaimed. Had he not been in one of GL's cage constructs, someone (by which I mean Raven or possibly Hawkgirl) would've surely smacked him upside the head.

"_Did something happen to him?_" Superman asked.

"His com link went dead a few seconds ago," J'onn replied.

Superman's face grew grim. It was true, the Flash _would_ have finished almost a minute earlier, something must have happened. He turned to face the others.

"GL and Hawkgirl," he called, "You two come with me, we're looking for Flash."

The two nodded and jumped into the air next to Superman.

"Diana," he said next, "I want you and the rest to stay here in case something happens to us as well."

Wonder Woman nodded as well as Raven, Beast Boy and Starfire, albeit, reluctantly.

The trio flew higher into the air and headed towards the densely packed trees.

* * *

Being a mercenary as long as Deadpool has its many perks;

Free food... (Sometimes.)

Free...other stuff! (Again, sometimes.)

And a free funeral! (Guaranteed!)

One of the other things was getting to know when trouble was afoot, to sense danger, to have your very own Spidey Sense, so to speak.

However, Deadpool's had crapped out on him.

Right now, he was in a battle royal with a few mobsters on the street. They had run into his car with their own and begun firing. At the moment, they were all using their own cars for shields.

Somewhere in the fleeing crowd was an insurance agent who would have hell to pay if any of the men in the shootout were his customers.

At least three of them were.

Deadpool was quite sure that if those thugs hadn't tried to pick a fight with him, he would've almost remembered to find Petey and stuff and everything would've been just a tiny bit better than it was before!

"I'm telling you!!" Deadpool shouted as he ducked, "I don't know who the hell Johnny is!!" he said as he took another bite out of the bear claw.

Now there were only four doughnuts left.

"Like hell ya don't!" one of the mobsters shouted back.

"Yeah! You stole his car!!" another one added.

"Does it look like I remember whose car I stole or not?!" Wade shouted as he poked his head up and shot one of the men's shoulders, "I don't even remember my pin number!!"

Really, it was a miracle he even remember what Petey looked like. The fact that he forgot his name would've happen in any reality.

Except for a reality where he wasn't crazy...but that was impossible.

"Liar!" one of the mobsters shouted from behind his car.

"Oh shut up Big Pussy!" Deadpool shouted and took his chance to go on the offensive. He put away his guns and reached for Tommy and Timmy Katana.

"Hey! The Sopranos gave us mobsters a humane quality that we don't possess!" one of the offended mobsters shouted.

"I liked it..." his friend next to him admitted in a sad tone.

Before the offended mobster could say anything there was a blinding flash of sunlight reflecting of a smooth surface...and then there was red and lots and lots of pain.

Deadpool kicked the offended mobster in the face as he slashed his friend's hands enough to let go of his weapon, which Deadpool immediately kicked out of the way.

It was around that moment that Deadpool saw how many gangsters were trying to kill him (emphasis on '_try'_). There were four behind the car and two on either side of his peripheral vision; he was surrounded by poorly paid goons.

He had already disarmed two of them so he just needed to avoid the bullets coming from either side as he beat up the other two who still had guns pointed at his head and heart (among other places).

A flurry of bullets were heard from left and right just as Deadpool smacked the two mobsters in front of him with the handle of his katanas. Again, he kicked the guns away and mentally flipped a coin to see which side he would kick butt in first. His mental quarter landed on Chuck E. Cheese which was the equivalent of heads and so he went to his right to kick ass and chew bubble gum.

And he was all out of bubble gum...

* * *

"Does your ring sense anything, Jon?" Superman asked the Green Lantern.

Jon inspected his ring and remained silent for a moment.

"Jon?" Hawkgirl called him out of his daze.

The Green Lantern shook his head, "Yes, I'm fine and the ring...it does sense something but...it seems impossible..."

"Define 'impossible,'" Superman said with a tight smirk, reminding Jon that they _were_ the impossible.

"Well...maybe not _that_ impossible but it's still pretty out there," Jon said.

"Now," Hawkgirl decided to join in on the fun, "define 'out there.'" She smiled.

"Fine, fine," the Green Lantern conceded, "So we're all freaks, I'll admit it. But this...this is just...hard to describe." He shook his head, "Those kids were right, there _is_ a portal around here in the forest. Down there, actually," he pointed below them and they slowly touched down, "But here's the thing; the power levels I'm reading are, quite frankly, way too powerful to be a portal to just New York."

"What're you saying?" Superman asked.

"You guys are the aliens, you figure it out," Jon replied.

"A portal to another planet?" Hawkgirl suggested.

"Nope, that's not even near the power levels I'm reading."

"Another galaxy?" Superman asked.

"Think bigger," the Green Lantern said.

"Bigger?" Hawkgirl said to herself, "You mean..." she almost gasped, "..._No_..."

"That's..._impossible_..." Superman whispered.

"And that's a lot coming from us freaks of reality," Jon said sarcastically.

Almost on cue, they heard the one thing they didn't expect to hear out in the woods.

The Pinky and the Brain theme song.

"_They're laboratory mice_._ Their genes have been spliced_._ They're Pinky and the Brain_. _They're Pink and the Brain_..."

"Flash!" Hawkgirl exclaimed when she saw the scarlet speedster emerge out of an odd ripple. That ripple effect made Jon's eyes widen.

"You just..." The Green Lantern was at a loss for words. He'd known that inter-universe teleportation may have been _theoretical_, but actually seeing it with his eyes was something else entirely.

"I just teleported through universe?" Flash asked with a wide smile, "Yeah, I kinda figured when we ended up near New York. That and Weasel kind of filled me in."

The Flash's statement made everyone turn to the Flash's company.

"These must be Bob and Weasel," Superman said.

"Yup, the one with glasses is Weasel and the one that looks like an expendable minion is Bob," Flash said.

"For a time, I actually _was_ an expendable minion," Bob admitted.

"You're not anymore?" Hawkgirl asked, genuinely surprised, but Bob took no offense. However, no one called her out with her slightly rude comment as the Flash's giant grin only got bigger.

That usually meant he knew something.

"What'd you find out?" Superman asked.

"I am so glad you asked, Superman!" the Flash said almost as though he were about to give a sales pitch, which he may very well could have, "As it turns out, Robin might be in an alternate universe and these guys here," Flash pointed at Bob and Weasel, "are willing to help us look through all those hives full of scum and villainy."

Only Weasel got the Star Wars reference.

And me.

Superman, Hawkgirl and the Green Lantern gave the other trio inquisitive looks.

"Okay, maybe I should explain what happened," Flash said. He cleared his throat and prepared to regale his tale.

* * *

Weasel and Bob had realized that running away probably wasn't the best idea, and decided that it was best to make Weasel talk to the Flash.

Or at least _Bob_ decided that when he pushed Weasel forward.

Weasel leered at him before turning to meet the Flash's gaze, "Who...who are you?"

"I'm the fastest man alive," the Flash said, gloating, "I'm the Flash." He beamed.

"Catchy name," Bob admitted.

"Darn skippy," Flash responded.

"You don't actually talk like that, do you?" Weasel asked.

"No, it was one my _phrase of the day_ calendar- just graduated from _word of the day_- and I had to incorporate it into _one_ of my conversations somehow. Seemed as good a time as any," Flash shrugged as Weasel and Bob couldn't help but shake their heads and agree.

"_Sooooooo_," Flash leaned forward playfully, "Am I to assume that you guys're Weasel and Bob?"

"It seems like you're already assuming as much," Weasel retorted.

"Well, you did kind of give yourselves away by running away after having said Deadpool's name, being found in the middle of the forest, and more or less fitting the description I was given to work with."

"Of course," Weasel said exasperatedly, he'd forgotten that unlike most times he was on a crazy mission with Wade, people had actually seen him.

"If it makes you feel any better, you're not quite as lanky as they said you were," Flash said, turning on his communicator.

Or at least he tried to.

He took the little communicator off of his ear and inspected it; the light on the communicator wasn't on. It was neither red nor green, which meant that it was off. He pressed the button again and nothing happened.

"Weird," Flash said as he examined his communicator further.

"Technology troubles?" Weasel asked as he gestured toward the laptop with a black screen that was resting next to the rock Bob had decided to use as a seat.

"Yeah, my communicator's not working..." Flash trailed off as he jiggled the communicator a bit; he didn't think it would help but he was trying anything...

"Wanna let me take a look at it?" Weasel asked.

...except that.

"Nah," Flash said, giving up on fixing the communicator, "The way I figure it, communicator or not, I'll still be able to take you guys back to the Tower."

Weasel sighed, he'd been afraid of this.

Bob rested his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees, "I didn't mind that place as much as Deathstroke's...at least _they_ were nice...ish. We _are_ still technically, in a way, evil...so to speak...you know?" Bob said in a tone that almost made the Flash think he was regretting his life of crime, or at the very least regretting embarking on this journey.

"Wait, who's Deathstroke?" Flash asked.

"The guy who hired us-well, _technically_ Deadpool, to kidnap Robin and kill the Titans..." Weasel's eyes widened, "You know, now that I think about it...I would rather be under the protective custody of a bunch of superheroes...at least you guys won't just let us get killed for not finishing our job...not that it's really worth the trouble anymore," Weasel stretched and sighed. He really was tired. He and Bob had just spent a couple of hours looking and then waiting for Deadpool, and that wasn't even mentioning the harrowing escape they pulled, the jailbreak they also committed, and a lot of other things that would make someone extra sleepy.

"So...you guys aren't really going to kill the Titans?" Flash asked.

"Well, to be honest, killing's not our part, we're more like..." Weasel searched for the right word.

"Backup?" Bob asked.

"No, backup would do _some_ killing too...we're more like...the information center you know? We find out all the details so Deadpool can go in there are get the money," Weasel said.

"And then we go to Katz's Deli..." Bob said dreamily, it'd been a long time since he'd had a meat sub with _everything_ on it...and boy that sounded tempting...

"Oh..." Flash said, not all that surprised but not expecting their lack of enthusiasm, "Have you guys even _killed_ anyone before?"

"Uh..." Weasel sifted through his memories, "Define 'kill.' Do World of Warcaft characters count?"

"No," Flash responded.

"Yeah...no," Weasel replied.

Flash turned to Bob, "Hey, I was trained to run _away_ from battles, not fight in them," Bob held up his hands in innocence.

"Huh, no blood on your hands? I was half expecting some cold hearted..._weasel_, to be perfectly honest," Flash replied, "I mean, no offense, but it seems almost impossible that you two- again, no offense- could've ever escaped from the Tower's containment."

"Oh, none taken," Weasel replied. He and Bob too had been incredibly stunned that they pulled off the feat as well as the jailbreak and...well, not dying so far.

"We were just as surprised as you are when we got out," Bob said.

"Hmm," Flash inspected both of them, he didn't _think_ they were lying and he almost completely believed them, save for one fatal flaw, they still helped all this happen. However, this definitely put things in a new light, "Well, this is all kind of...uh, weird, really, you know with the whole '_Guys I'm looking for suddenly appear out of nowhere and my communicator goes offline just like their laptop did and aren't really as bad as I thought they would be_.'"

Flash inhaled, "It's really...kind of unnerving, so let's get back to the tower already, 'kay?"

"So long as we're not killed," Bob demanded.

"Uh...then Weasel," Flash started, "you might wanna stay away from Cyborg."

"Oh, I know," Weasel sighed and the three turned around to walk towards Jump but the Flash stopped.

"Huh," he said, stroking his chin, "I swore that the outline of Jump was right there...now it's gone."

"Maybe the trees covered it up," Bob said.

"Maybe..." Flash trailed off as he turned around and noticed that the faintest outline of skyscrapers was right there, opposite to where he had come from, "That's weird."

He began walked towards it and started to hear highway sounds, "Huh, must've gotten disoriented or something."

Weasel and Bob followed him and noticed something on a tree; an arrow was carved into it and pointing to the tree next to it.

"Odd," Bob said and inspected the tree it was pointing to.

"Not really," Weasel said as he pointed to little markings lower on the tree with the arrow, "Look," he pointed at _Ddpl wuz hear_.

"Deadpool was here?" Bob asked incredulously.

"Well, it _is_ his handwriting," Weasel said, Wade really did write as though he was always carving on trees, and his grammar really was that horrible.

"Hey, um, guys?" Flash called the two of them to come towards him, "Uh...where's this?"

He pointed at the outline of a giant city that was glistening and swaying in the sun. Of course, that was just the windows and metal refracting the light from the sun. The swaying was caused by all the car emissions that then caused a green house gas.

(People were dying of the heat!!)

* * *

Deadpool had just finished beating the ever loving crap out of the two mobsters and held out an ear to know whether or not the other two on the other side of the building were still there.

He didn't hear any bullets being fired so he figured that they had run away, which was good because he didn't really feel like beating up more people.

He felt like eating the last four doughnuts.

Deadpool slowly walked his way across the street before cops arrived when he heard bullets flying, he groaned.

"Don't you guys have a life or something?!" he screamed and decided to keep his weapons in their places, not wanting to waste his bullets or his blades on them.

He walked over to the thugs, dodging all the bullets without really trying and even when they did hit him, he made sure that it was in a very trivial spot that wouldn't have slowed him down and would heal in a matter of seconds. He tried to look as intimidating as possible and with the way he was walking towards them without stopping; he kind of looked like the Terminator to them.

When all the mobster's bullets ran out they grew desperate and just threw their guns at him, which he also dodged effortlessly. They turned around and ran but didn't get very far before getting their butts handed to them with karate moves that rivaled those of...

No, not Chuck Norris...more like the Power Rangers!

And they were _not_ dished out by Deadpool.

Wade's eyes widened when he saw the mobster's attacker, as did the attacker's eyes when he attacker saw Deadpool.

Yes, dammit _he_! **HE!**

No, not _that_ he!

"Okay," Deadpool said, "I have to admit, I _did_ kind of see this coming."

* * *

"That's New York!" Weasel exclaimed.

The Flash's jaw dropped, "Come again?"

"It's New York!" Bob shouted and he and Weasel were about to run forward and hitchhike back before they remembered that the Flash was the **FASTEST MAN ALIVE**.

Or so his nonexistent business cards claimed.

"How the hell's that possible?" Flash asked in amazement, "Jump is on the west coast!"

At that reminder, Weasel stopped gleefully jumping, "Oh yeah..."

"Oh yeah what?" Flash asked.

"Well, I kind of don't know, to be honest. All I know is that whatever universe Jump is in is not _our_ universe," he pointed to himself and Bob.

The Flash gave him a skeptic look, one that would soon become his permanent look if he didn't change his expression soon, "You guys are from an alternate universe? How the hell'd you manage that?"

"We don't know," Bob answered.

"As it turns out there's something weird about the forest or...something..." Weasel snapped his fingers together as he figured out the answer, "_That's_ why my laptop and your communicator stopped working! If we did teleport between universes or something then we must've teleported in one molecule or atom or subatomic particle at a time, like in Star Trek!" Weasel postulated.

"And unlike organic objects, electronics that are turned on might not work because they might've been jumbled up on the ride over the next universe." He continued, "That and because organic life rules over electronics any day." Weasel said haughtily.

"What about the Transformers?" Bob asked.

"Oh, they're not real." Weasel brushed off Bob's reply.

If the Flash's mind didn't work so fast then it would've probably hurt a lot more than it did, but that wasn't because he didn't understand Weasel's answer, it's just that it took some time to get rid of the headache after having traveled between universes.

"Alright..." Flash said as he rubbed his temples to ready himself for another trip through universes, "Seeing as how there's no evidence contradicting your statement, I'll just accept it. Now," he continued and looked them both in the eye, "How do we know that it's a portal between just our two universes?"

"Deadpool." Bob and Weasel answered.

"Uh-huh," Flash crossed his arms, "A _legitimate_ answer, please."

"_Deadpool_." They insisted and Weasel pointed toward the tree with the arrow on it.

"It says Deadpool was here," Weasel said.

"It even has the date," Bob added and pointed even lower on the tree's trunk, "It's dated from one day ago."

"It was a day ago that we got separated, he must've followed Petey here," Weasel said.

Flash was clearly out of his element, given that he'd never seen Deadpool, let alone have been friends with him like these two, so he just accepted it, "Alright, so it's a portal between our two universes. That must mean that if we go back it'll be _my_ universe again- and who the hell's Petey?"

Weasel mentally slapped himself, "Ugh, sorry, it's a nickname Deadpool gave Robin, you know, 'cause he sort of looks like Peter Pan."

"Robin?" Flash asked incredulously, "He's _where?_"

"He _might _be in New York-" Weasel corrected himself, "uh, _our_ New York."

"Oh...crap," Flash said, "How different is it from _my_ New York?"

"We don't know," Bob shrugged, "We've never been to _your_ New York."

"Man..." Flash said, "Do you know where he might be?"

The two of them shook their heads but Weasel spoke up, "Actually, Deadpool might know, that's why he went after him. He realized that there was something wrong with him after...we...kind of...delivered him...to Deathstroke...BUT Deadpool is trying to save him and get him back to normal!!" Weasel said to try and make them seem less like villains.

Even though they kind of were.

The Flash looked at him and believed him; he always saw the best in people. "If we were, let's say, trying to _find_ Robin too...do you think that if we helped you find Deadpool, he would help us find Robin?"

"Well, Bob and I would be glad to help. As for Deadpool...he really did wanna save him," Weasel nodded, "I'm pretty sure he'd like all the help he can get."

The Flash thought about that for a moment.

"Well..." he said slowly, "Let's see if my teammates are willing to help the man who kidnapped him in the first place, save him." The Flash gave them a dazzling smile that said 'don't worry, they will...maybe.'

However, the smile quickly went away when he said, "And Robin does _not_ look like Peter Pan!"

"To us he does," Weasel shrugged.

"Look, I don't know what kind of messed up version of Peter Pan Walt Disney made in _your_ universe but Peter Pan doesn't have black hair that's all spiky or a red tunic. He had ginger hair, a green cap, and a green shirt!" Flash argued over the most meaningless of all things, but he had to protect Robin's honor, after all.

"That's how it was in our universe too," Weasel said, "It's just that Robin _kind of _resembled him...more or less because of the green tights."

The Flash crossed his arms and pouted, "Okay, I'll give you that, he did kind of look like Peter Pan with those tights...especially in his earlier days, he wore these like ankle boots, I can't remember if they were green or not, but yeah...okay, makes sense," He conceded, "But it's still kind of mean!"

They were silent and he looked back at the both of them, "Well...let's go back to Jump!"

Flash ushered both of them away from New York as fast as he was able to, which wasn't all that fast, and they headed towards the portal.

"Hey, did you guys have Pinky and the Brain too?" Bob asked as Weasel picked up his laptop.

"Dude! I loved that show!!" Flash exclaimed and began singing the theme song with Bob and Weasel as they passed through the portal.

* * *

"And that's how we got here and I found out that Robin was in an alternate universe New York and that Bob and Weasel are willing to help us find him," Flash said.

"So, they'd be willing to help us find Robin if we help them find Deadpool, the man who kidnapped Robin in the first place, who is also looking for Robin to _save_ him from a change that occurred to him _after_ he was delivered to...who was it who hired them?" Hawkgirl asked in order to take a breath.

"Deathstroke," Weasel answered.

"Right..." Hawkgirl said and she looked toward her teammates.

"When you put it that way of course no one's going to let them help us," Flash insisted, "But they seem very remorseful about what they did and are just trying to meet up with their friend again. I mean..._I_ don't think they're evil. They haven't even killed anyone! World of Warcraft aside, of course."

Hawkgirl and the Green Lantern turned to Superman, who sighed, "Are you certain Robin's in your New York?"

"Well," Weasel said, "We don't know for sure but we traced Deadpool's signal and that last time it went off he was here and since it hasn't made any new ones, I can safely assume that his tracer was fried when he went through universes."

"Well," Superman started, "Seeing as how we don't know how different your universe is from ours..."

"And that they seem relatively harmless," Flash added.

"And that...I'll see what I can do to convince the rest of us to allow you two to come with us," Superman finished.

Weasel and Bob let out relieved sighs.

Wonder Woman and Starfire touched down near them and also gave out a relieved sigh.

"Wonder Woman?" Superman asked.

"J'onn said your comm devices were sending out sporadic signals that wouldn't have allowed for communication and...I got worried," she replied.

She and Starfire finally noticed the two men standing near the Flash.

"Bob and Weasel," Starfire said angrily. She still hadn't forgiven them for having helped kidnap her best friend.

The two of them slowly slunk back behind the Flash.

"Okay," Hawkgirl said to break the silence, "_They're_ the ones who escaped from containment in the Tower? _Really_?" she asked in disbelief.

* * *

**The DeadCorner**

*the DeadCorner theme song plays, which sounds an awful lot like the old Batman theme only Batman is replaced by Deadpool in both the words and the opening sequence and yes, Burt Ward is still there*

**Deadpool: Welcome! This is the DeadCorner, and I'm your host, the merc with the mouth, Deadpool! Then there's these guys.**

*the camera pans to reveal Weasel and Bob*

**Deadpool: Today's topic is Coco the Loco. Or, as he's more popularly known as, Conan O'Brien, former host of both the Tonight Show and Late Night. Both shows were on NBC.**

**Weasel: *stiffly* This past Friday marked Conan's last day as the Tonight Show host and ended almost twenty years of service for NBC. Jay Leno is scheduled to take back his spot, according to rumors, and people find this just plain retarded. Especially the bias writer of this fanfic.**

**Deadpool: Bias fanfics rule!!**

**Bob: O'Brien ended his last show with over 7 million people watching, completely devastating Letterman who had only about 2 million people watching. This also beat the crap out of Jimmy Kimmel who received 1 million people or less, because he isn't really **_**that**_** funny. Pretty much only Sarah Silverman and even then, she's kind of a crude stretch. Her blue streaks know no bounds.**

**Deadpool: Yeah, anyway. This is stupid! Why, you ask? Conan had the Tonight Show for only seven months! SEVEN MONTHS! In those months his ratings got steadily lower, but shot up by like five hundred percent when it was announced that he was leaving the Tonight Show almost immediately after NBC announced its plan of moving the Tonight Show to midnight, as opposed to its usual time of eleven thirty. He said that its because it's tradition to have the Tonight Show on at that same time slot that it's always had, that it's like suddenly changing **_**my **_**costume colors to pink and purple!! AND they're bringing back Conan' predecessor, Jay Leno, who, let's face it, isn't that funny...but is still a helluva lot funnier than Letterman. Which is something to say. Jay seems like the bad guy in all this. And although he isn't, he sure as frigging hell ain't the funny one! This is what really angers me to the point. Conan didn't even have a chance to be funny! And they had the news on right before him! No one wants to watch the news before they watch Coco! They should've just moved the news with Jay and then maybe Coco's ratings would go up or something! It just seems stupid and-**

**Weasel: Uh, we're running out of room, Wade.**

**Deadpool: *presses the button that should shock Weasel* Damn! It fizzled out!**

**Bob: No, actually, the electricity's been cut off. Remember? It's our last day.**

**Deadpool: What?! Already!? *jumps up in panic* Quick! Steal what you can before the fanfic ends!!! *grabs a bunch of stuff including chairs, the buffet table, and the camera and runs out with Weasel and Bob* It's been fun while it lasted! Art imitates life and whatnot! Good night folks! I wish I could also do a guitar solo like Coco!!! *runs off with his loot***

**THE DEADCORNER**


End file.
